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Help, I feel like the parent with my mother... watch

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    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    and it's really putting a strain on our relationship.

    She just acts so childish sometimes that I find it hard to respect her as my mum.

    She's always interrupting people, never listens and the way she speaks makes her sound like she's arguing with everyone.

    Just now, a friend of the family phoned and I picked up. My mum knew who it was and could hear that we were in the middle of a conversation and yet she stood there, banging on the door and whining at me to give her the phone, like a child. It's just embarrassing. The person on the other end of the phone could hear everything.

    Even when we're out shopping, my mum has thrown 'tantrums'. She wanted to buy some ridiculous device that she won't ever use and asked for my opinion. I told her honestly that she doesn't need it. Then she proceeded to have a go at me in public shouting, 'It's ok whenever you want something... but whenever I want something nobody agrees...' And then she retaliates, 'You can cook dinner and wash up tonight.' Just because I gave my honest opinion!

    She's always had problems with getting things across the way she intends and people end up inferring the wrong meaning. My grandparents tell me it's because of the speech problems she had as a child but I don't feel like that's any excuse.

    I've tried telling her but it just turns into an argument.

    I love my mum but it's just so hard to be around her without getting frustrated or annoyed. What do I do?
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    • #2
    #2

    Hi, I think I know how you feel. I've had to take a lot of responsibility in my house because my mum is single I'm the oldest who is still at home.

    I sometimes feel alot of resentment towards her, like she has held me back and prevented me from doing the things I really want to; and if I proceed to mention things to her she does what your mum does and throws tantrums and lays on the guilt.

    Maybe the problem is boundaries; do you think your mum treats you more like a roommate/friend than her child? Because that's what I've found. My mum doesn't want to take responsibility and be a disciplined parent so she acts really laid back and I end up cleaning up her mess, so to speak. Maybe your mum has some emotional problems with parenting for whatever reason like her childhood, so she puts a lot of the issues onto you?

    It sounds cliched but I really think the best solution is to sit down and outline your problems to her. I doubt she realises how she is making you feel.
 
 
 
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