So my boyfriend told me.. Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 9 years ago
#1
Please keep anon as friends read this! I've always been kinda paranoid about my boyfriend liking one of my best friends, and this weekend in an argument he basically told me that if he wasn't with me then he'd be chasing after her. Now I know he loves me and wants to stay with me etc. but what would you do in this situation? I'm not sure if I can still be with him now I know that all the time he's looking at her in that way, and I'm insecure enough as it is! Is this just something I should forget about and get over, or would you end it in my position?
quote
reply
Antimatter
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#2
Report 9 years ago
#2
Sounds a bit harsh to me.
If he'd be chasing after her, is it worth it really?
If I'm with someone, I'd want to be the only person they'd want to be with
0
quote
reply
PirateFlag
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#3
Report 9 years ago
#3
Dump him, if he loved you he wouldn't say something so hurtful, i know theres an excuse of saying things in 'the heat of the moment' but that is an awful thing to say and he must of known telling you that he would go after your best friend would crush your self-esteem.
0
quote
reply
shorty.loves.angels
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#4
Report 9 years ago
#4
But being with you means he likes you more, obviously, right?
He's always going to find other people attractive/fit whatever, but providing you are the one he wants then does it matter?
He probably shouldn't have told you!! But I would probably only finish with him if he started making it obvious that he was interested in her despite being with me.
0
quote
reply
ourlastmemory
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#5
Report 9 years ago
#5
Jesus, what a horrible thing to say

If I were you I'd probably end it, I don't know. I see that as the sort of situation that might break down your relationship with your friend as well as your boyfriend, purely because you'll probably get more jealous and upset about any contact they have with each other, and you might resent her as well - or at least I would :/ if you were mega secure and able to ignore a comment like that then it'd be okay, but if you say you're insecure as it is its probably not a very healthy relationship to be in.
0
quote
reply
Melting Sugar.
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#6
Report 9 years ago
#6
edited:
I still say it was a hurtful comment, but as cowsgoquack said he was probably just trying to hurt you to make you upset - perhaps you said something to him to make him hurt too :dontknow: so he just wanted to spite you. He's with you and not this girl for a reason, just talk to him about what he said and he'll clear things up for you - we can't speak for him.
0
quote
reply
Iridescence
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#7
Report 9 years ago
#7
Who in the right state of mind would think that you'd actually want to know that? His eyes are straying, sounds like something a lil' more than just finding someone attractive. I think you could do better without tbh, especially if your'e insecure.
0
quote
reply
Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 9 years ago
#8
Yeah see I can accept that he finds other people attractive obviously. And we've been together a few years so I wouldn't want to throw it away over a little crush, but I can see me screwing it up with my jealousy over this! He does always say I'm the only one for him, wants to be with me forever, so it shouldn't bother me, as I know he won't leave me for her, but for the past few years he's always told me he doesn't like her, and now I know he does! Plus if I do break up with him then it'll hurt to see them together all the time
quote
reply
the.white.rabbit
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#9
Report 9 years ago
#9
Thats an awful thing to say...but i don't think that you should break up with him for it....at the end of the day he is choosing to be with you which means you are more important to him then her...
0
quote
reply
Lefty Leo
Badges: 10
#10
Report 9 years ago
#10
If feeling a bit vengeful, get your best friend to lead him on and them humiliate him somehow, after dumping him :awesome:
quote
reply
Iridescence
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#11
Report 9 years ago
#11
(Original post by the.white.rabbit)
Thats an awful thing to say...but i don't think that you should break up with him for it....at the end of the day he is choosing to be with you which means you are more important to him then her...
While that is true, he's pretty much just said she is a second option for him if **** hits the fan - a little more than just an attraction -. There shouldn't be any options in the first place.
0
quote
reply
cowsgoquack
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#12
Report 9 years ago
#12
(Original post by Melting Sugar.)
That's awful. I'd say dump him, your relationship isn't really a proper one if he'd rather be with someone else and spends his time looking at her. :/
:console:
He didn't say he'd rather be with somone else though?
0
quote
reply
KinkyBear
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#13
Report 9 years ago
#13
dump him before he dumps u!
0
quote
reply
Farmboy_Pip
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#14
Report 9 years ago
#14
i know for a fact that my boyfriend fancies my best friend. he teases me about it, suggests threesomes, they always flirt and he actually called me her name the other day... it's all in good humour though.. and i know she'd never do anything with him.. i trust him when he says it's me he wants

he's with you after all! (sounds cliche, but it's true) tell him that you need reassurance though, and he needs to understand that what he said hurt you.. and would your friend do anything with him anyway?
0
quote
reply
Anon the 7th
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#15
Report 9 years ago
#15
get rid of him if he wants to chase her
0
quote
reply
Anonymous #2
#16
Report 9 years ago
#16
If he met you first, and got to know this girl through hanging out with your friends, it's wrong for him to like her like that, as he's basically only with you because you got there first.

If he knew both of you vaguely, but ended up with you because he failed in getting close to her, dump him now, because he's a terrible person.
quote
reply
PlanetTea
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#17
Report 9 years ago
#17
There's one of two ways you could look at this.

1) Keeping in mind that he told you this in the middle of an argument, your boyfriend is going to fancy other people plus he knew that making that comment was going to upset you - perhaps that's why he did it. If your friend was so bloody desirable then he wouldn't be with you would he? It could just be your insecurity fueling the nasty comment and making it worse than it is; believing it more than you need to. Therefore perhaps forgetting about it is the correct option.

2) On the other hand; You're boyfriend fancies you're friend, and in a way told you if things end between you, he'll be after her instead. That isn't really the stable, loving relationship a young woman needs. Especially not when she's insecure. At your age your relationship should be about you two, besotted with each other or what's the point? Perhaps you should break it up with him because you want something better.

Personally I'd choose the second option, but you know what would be best for you. Good luck.
0
quote
reply
Anonymous #1
#18
Report Thread starter 9 years ago
#18
(Original post by Lefty Leo)
If feeling a bit vengeful, get your best friend to lead him on and them humiliate him somehow, after dumping him :awesome:
I like it :cool:

I knoow, I keep telling myself he's choosing to be with me etc., but I still feel insecure! Shes typically prettier, smarter, funnier than me and so next to her I just feel completely worthless. I know my boyfriend would choose me but I just don't see why, and even when he says I'm perfect I still can't help feeling insecure. Gahh who needs relationships! :p:
quote
reply
thepieofpie
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#19
Report 9 years ago
#19
Wait did he mean if he had the choice between the two of you he would chose her? (if so well out of order) The way you said it makes it sound that he meant if he was single and he met her he would go after her. What's wrong with that?
0
quote
reply
LH123
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#20
Report 9 years ago
#20
Dump him and let him be happy with his friend.
0
quote
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Were you ever put in isolation at school?

Yes (280)
27.56%
No (736)
72.44%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise