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    (Original post by cowsgoquack)
    He didn't say he'd rather be with somone else though?
    But in an argument he said if he wasn't with her then he'd be going after this girl - what did he mean by this and why did he feel the need to mention it?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I like it :cool:

    I knoow, I keep telling myself he's choosing to be with me etc., but I still feel insecure! Shes typically prettier, smarter, funnier than me and so next to her I just feel completely worthless. I know my boyfriend would choose me but I just don't see why, and even when he says I'm perfect I still can't help feeling insecure. Gahh who needs relationships! :p:
    You can't really compare between one person and the next. We're all different, good and bad in different ways. She might be smarter, funnier, prettier, but you have things about you that make you special and i wager that's why your boyfriend is with you.

    It's been going on years. If he wanted to get with her he would've used his chance by now, surely? I think he was just saying that to hurt you and you should be mad at him not because of what he said, because we can resort to female behaviour and spout sillyness when annoyed, but because he got so annoyed that he would want to hurt you in that way.

    Seriously, just have an honest chat with him. TSR isn't going to help you one bit.
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    (Original post by thepieofpie)
    Wait did he mean if he had the choice between the two of you he would chose her? (if so well out of order) The way you said it makes it sound that he meant if he was single and he met her he would go after her. What's wrong with that?
    Well yeah he meant if he was single he'd go after her. I know it sound really stupid but if it were anyone else then I probably wouldn't be so worried, but for some reason with her I am! I just don't know how much this will screw the relationship up and if it's worth carrying on when it'll always be in the back of my mind that he may break up with me for her.
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    (Original post by Melting Sugar.)
    But in an argument he said if he wasn't with her then he'd be going after this girl - what did he mean by this and why did he feel the need to mention it?
    He probably ment that if he wasn't with her then he'd be going after this girl. He probably wanted to mention it to upset her and let her know that she isn't irreplaceable.
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    Dump him in an instant.

    That's the most hurtful, horrible thing to say.
    You deserve better
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    hurm, tricky. because i mean did he say that just out of anger and to get u mad? or did he really mean it? but if he didnt say it out of anger , i would end it. bcause its like, when ur in a relationship with A, why are u thinking about being in a relationship B if u didnt have A, like the fact that he;s thinking about it, well, it says alot actually. i mean if u really want to be with that someone, u naturally would be focused only on being with that someone, and not someone else u want to be with if he wasnt there..bla3..sorry im rambling. ahah.hope it helps =)
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    Depends if you provoked him, he might be aware of your insecurity about it and have said it for a reaction. I've said stuff like that in the past just to get a reaction because I though a girl didn't care.
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    #1

    Just to clarify it wasn't exactly a heated argument, he was just kinda stressed with me and then after a few attempts of talking to him he told me this. He was quite calm though, I mean he was stressed with me but it sounded like he was just being honest, rather than trying to hurt me and saying it in the heat of the moment. Which is probably worse!
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    to the people saying "dump him" I think you're being way OTT

    you would seriously dump someone for that?

    I mean lets put this in perspective. in the heat of an argument he said if he wasn't with you he'd be chasing after her.

    yeah it's a bit stupid and insensitive to say something like that, but it isn't like he's making a play for her. he knows he's with you and dosen't plan on cheating because he said "if i wasn't with you".
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    Is dumping someone the only answer to every problem in a relationship TSR?
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    (Original post by PlanetTea)
    There's one of two ways you could look at this.

    1) Keeping in mind that he told you this in the middle of an argument, your boyfriend is going to fancy other people plus he knew that making that comment was going to upset you - perhaps that's why he did it. If your friend was so bloody desirable then he wouldn't be with you would he? It could just be your insecurity fueling the nasty comment and making it worse than it is; believing it more than you need to. Therefore perhaps forgetting about it is the correct option.

    2) On the other hand; You're boyfriend fancies you're friend, and in a way told you if things end between you, he'll be after her instead. That isn't really the stable, loving relationship a young woman needs. Especially not when she's insecure. At your age your relationship should be about you two, besotted with each other or what's the point? Perhaps you should break it up with him because you want something better.

    Personally I'd choose the second option, but you know what would be best for you. Good luck.

    good piece of advice actually, :yes:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well yeah he meant if he was single he'd go after her. I know it sound really stupid but if it were anyone else then I probably wouldn't be so worried, but for some reason with her I am! I just don't know how much this will screw the relationship up and if it's worth carrying on when it'll always be in the back of my mind that he may break up with me for her.
    Well in that case it was a pretty stupid thing of him to say if he knew that you thought your freind was so amazing but he's with you he must like you more/be happy with you. Besides she is your freind so nothing would happen anyway?
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    I wouldn't be able to stop thinking what if he'd asked her out first tbh
    if he wasn't with you would be actually be with her i think thats what you need to ask yourself
    maybe he's just confused and you should both have some time to think about what you really want and if you can achieve it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Is dumping someone the only answer to every problem in a relationship TSR?
    Lol, apparently!
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    He could possibly be playing on your insecurity, though what he said is somewhat harsh.
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    (Original post by cowsgoquack)
    He probably ment that if he wasn't with her then he'd be going after this girl. He probably wanted to mention it to upset her and let her know that she isn't irreplaceable.
    Ah I see, in which case that point I made doesn't count in this situation. I read it as that he'd just said "i'd rather be with her than you but i'm stuck with you now", but then again I haven't slept right in a few days

    I still say it was a hurtful comment, but as cowsgoquack said he was probably just trying to hurt you to make you upset - perhaps you said something to him to make him hurt too :dontknow: so he just wanted to spite you. He's with you and not this girl for a reason, just talk to him about what he said and he'll clear things up for you - we can't speak for him.
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    (Original post by Antimatter)
    If I'm with someone, I'd want to be the only person they'd want to be with
    Exactly?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I wouldn't be able to stop thinking what if he'd asked her out first tbh
    if he wasn't with you would be actually be with her i think thats what you need to ask yourself
    maybe he's just confused and you should both have some time to think about what you really want and if you can achieve it.
    That's what's bugging me! And I keep wondering if he'd actually be happier with me, even though he keeps saying I'm perfect!
    We had been going out for about two years before we met her, but I've already been dumped for two of my best friends, and I don't want it to happen again. And before I get loads of posts saying I'm stupid for taking him back after that, I know :p: Tbh, I know that I'm just being stupid and paranoid, and it's more to do with me than the both of them, but I don't know how to stop being insecure in general, when all he can do is tell me I'm perfect and that he never wants to leave etc.
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    Ask yourself if you want to be with someone who says things to hurt you out of spite? There's your answer.
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    how rude !!! he should have kept that for him.. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you or want to break up with you.. You can't do anything about this attraction.. Just make sure he's not gonna try to chase the girl when you're not around..
 
 
 
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