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So my boyfriend told me.. watch

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    I'd talk to the friend and if they said that they'd never be with him I'd dump him and let him get turned down by the friend.
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    Hmm, i would talk to him about it tbh. Hes admitted to fancying her, what if he only hasn't gone after he because he thinks shes not interested in him? I have known guys before that have been in relationships with people, when really wanting someone else more, but they can't have them so are with their 2nd option. Sorry, i hope it doesn't make you paranoid, but just something that could be true.

    I think what he said was pretty mean. People will find other people attractive when they are in a relationship, but to chase someone you must have some feelings towards them?

    You just have to ask yourself whether you can still be with him knowing if u wernt with him he would be chasing your friend. the fact the thought crossed his mind is quite bad.
    You said you feel insecure enough already so i think it may be best for you in the long run if you find someone else. Being in a relationship feeling insecure is horrible. Try and talk to him about it and if time passes and you can't get what he said out of your head and he doesn't make much effort making you feel wanted, then end it.

    Don't make someone your priority when you are only their option.
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    #1

    (Original post by blondyx)
    Hmm, i would talk to him about it tbh. Hes admitted to fancying her, what if he only hasn't gone after he because he thinks shes not interested in him? I have known guys before that have been in relationships with people, when really wanting someone else more, but they can't have them so are with their 2nd option. Sorry, i hope it doesn't make you paranoid, but just something that could be true.

    I think what he said was pretty mean. People will find other people attractive when they are in a relationship, but to chase someone you must have some feelings towards them?

    You just have to ask yourself whether you can still be with him knowing if u wernt with him he would be chasing your friend. the fact the thought crossed his mind is quite bad.
    You said you feel insecure enough already so i think it may be best for you in the long run if you find someone else. Being in a relationship feeling insecure is horrible. Try and talk to him about it and if time passes and you can't get what he said out of your head and he doesn't make much effort making you feel wanted, then end it.

    Don't make someone your priority when you are only their option.
    Thanks Great advice. Yeah, I think it would be best if we at least took a break for a while and then I can see if he really wants to be with me. He knows she doesn't like him, plus she's just started seeing his best friend! So I know he'll only be staying with me as he knows he can't get her Right, I'm not feeling like second best anymore! Thanks for the advice guys
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks Great advice. Yeah, I think it would be best if we at least took a break for a while and then I can see if he really wants to be with me. He knows she doesn't like him, plus she's just started seeing his best friend! So I know he'll only be staying with me as he knows he can't get her Right, I'm not feeling like second best anymore! Thanks for the advice guys
    PM me if you want to talk about anything. I felt similar to you at times. I hope everything goes ok for you.
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    He sounds lil strange, i wouldnt say that to my gf cos it would be like playing undue mind games. He sounds like he wants attention as well.
    I wouldnt ever say that to my gf though, quite suprising lol.
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    WTF? Thats mean!

    OMG you should tell him to go with her. Dump him seriously.. before he dumps you
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    i dont think he meant to hurt you in the long run, he probably just said it to hurt u in tht arguement but regardless... you dont bring such serious matters into stupid arguements, i'd tell him to seriously get his act together or dump him.
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    What he said kinda makes it sound like he's settling for you...and vice versa (you're settling for someone who doesn't see himself as lucky to be with you).

    Dump!
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    yeaaahhh lets all advise people to end their relationships. . .H&R
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    Wow, if I had a girlfriend and she said something like that I'm not sure what I would do either. As someone who feels insecure already that's just the worst thing to say. How much of that did he mean though - maybe talk about it? Could have just been cause he was really angry and said it.
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    I couldn't be in a relationship if I wasn't the only one my boyfriend was thinking about. However if you end it, he won't be with you anymore and will be chasing her ...
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    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    But being with you means he likes you more, obviously, right?
    He's always going to find other people attractive/fit whatever, but providing you are the one he wants then does it matter?
    He probably shouldn't have told you!! But I would probably only finish with him if he started making it obvious that he was interested in her despite being with me.
    Not necessarily. Being with the OP could mean that he isn't good enough for the other girls standards, but is good enough for the OP.
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    (Original post by Absinth)
    That's so mean but I lul'd. :ninja:
    Well it was intended as humour

    And i'm pretty sure the OP got that :p:

    PS, you're so strong you're illegal in some countries :teeth:
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    (Original post by kai4321)
    Wow, if I had a girlfriend and she said something like that I'm not sure what I would do either. As someone who feels insecure already that's just the worst thing to say. How much of that did he mean though - maybe talk about it? Could have just been cause he was really angry and said it.
    Nah he wasn't particularly angry, he seemed calm and I think he was actually being honest. He did say he knows I didn't want to hear it, so he knows it would have hurt! Which just makes me so angry! :mad:
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    I've been in exactly this situation before. (Well, almost - my boyfriend didn't tell me, but I worked it out.) I know how much it hurts, especially if you're insecure, and I can completely understand you being angry at the way he told you.

    In my case, I let him know how much it upset me - I felt like crying every time we were with this friend - and he made a conscious effort to stop spending time with her and talking to her for a little while. A year later, he's completely over his crush (they're good friends though) and we're happier than ever.

    So, my advice is: don't dump him, but do let him know how much it's affecting you. And perhaps ask if there can be some distance between the two of them for a bit, so that he can get over his crush. I don't think that'd be unreasonable.
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    (Original post by aegilia reghander)
    Not necessarily. Being with the OP could mean that he isn't good enough for the other girls standards, but is good enough for the OP.
    If he's already admitted he would chase the other girl, then I would have thought that he does not think of himself as not being good enough for her?

    Anyway, the point I was trying to make, is that he doesn't have to be with her. If he didn't love her he shouldn't be with her - Although I realise that there could be exceptions.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been in exactly this situation before. (Well, almost - my boyfriend didn't tell me, but I worked it out.) I know how much it hurts, especially if you're insecure, and I can completely understand you being angry at the way he told you.

    In my case, I let him know how much it upset me - I felt like crying every time we were with this friend - and he made a conscious effort to stop spending time with her and talking to her for a little while. A year later, he's completely over his crush (they're good friends though) and we're happier than ever.

    So, my advice is: don't dump him, but do let him know how much it's affecting you. And perhaps ask if there can be some distance between the two of them for a bit, so that he can get over his crush. I don't think that'd be unreasonable.
    Well they only hang round at partys, so when I'm there, and I wouldn't want to tell him not to see her, as wouldn't that automatically make him want to see her more? Aagh it's all so confusing! :o:
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    In all honesty, in your situation, I couldn't continue knowing that my boyfriend basically fancied someone else (not in the way you fancy someone famous, but like would actually want to be with them). I think it depends on whether you'll drive yourself crazy thinking about it all the time, or whether you could actually forget it.

    But there are always men out there who are willing to love you completely, without wanting to be with anyone else.
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    dump him..you deserve a lot better than that..find someone who loves you for you not your friends (Y)
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    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    If he's already admitted he would chase the other girl, then I would have thought that he does not think of himself as not being good enough for her?

    Anyway, the point I was trying to make, is that he doesn't have to be with her. If he didn't love her he shouldn't be with her - Although I realise that there could be exceptions.
    Not everyone reasons in a manner deemed ideal by others. It could be a typical case of girlfriend or no girlfriend. Also, you don't have to love someone to be with him or her.
 
 
 
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