Pregnant friend doesnt care about her baby

14

Sorry this is long
I really feel sorry for her unborn child, my mate of 4 years found out a couple of weeks ago that she was 5 months pregnant, she's been married for 6 months. She is very happy with her husband even though their marriage was arranged, but just doesnt give a **** about her baby. She drinks, smokes loads, she hardly eats and says the baby is making her look fat so shes dieting. I'm really worried about her and the baby, well mostly the baby. I just dont understand, cos she said the baby was planned and everything and it wasnt accidental. Why do some women do that, put a big risk on the baby being born disabled or having birth defects.

My mum did the same for me, she hardly ate whereas she stuffed herself when she was pregnant with my siblings. She drank laods of milk and cos of that my brothers and sister were healthy 8/9 pound babies, whereas I was only 4 pounds, jauniced, premature, anaemic and disadvantaged in other ways. I keep blaming my mum for my weaknesses and hormone trouble, sorry if I sound selfish there.

Because I know how I suffered growing up, I dont want this to happen to my mates baby, I told her this morning that she should be more careful and stop smoking and cut drinking, but she just had a right go at me and said it was her life and put the phone down on me.

I dont what to do or say. I hardly know her husband, so I dont know what he's like about all this. How can I explain this to her without her being angry with me? What should I do ? :frown:

Love BlueAngel xxx

Reply 1

Frogsofhope

2

Harsh as it may sound, it is her baby, if you have given ehr your recommendation there is not much else you can do, excpet, I don;t know how old this girl is but you could ask her mum to maybe have a little word. If your friend is drinking loads maybe there is another problem that needs addressing, are you sure she is happy with other aspects of her life? Ultimatly its up to her how she brings her children up, even at this early age, and no authorities can step in, short of doctors advice, until the child is born and if she mistreats it then.

Reply 2

AngelofnoColour

OP

14

She's 19, yeh I know its young and all, but she is happy with the marriage, she loved they guy before they even got engaged and they know each other really well. She's always talking about him, but not the baby, she changes the subject. I guess it is her life, but I dont want her falling out with me becos of this and ruining her babys life. Im sorry but Im just very sensitive when it comes to babies, I cant sit back and watch someone damage a baby.

Reply 3

RetiredAccount89

18

I have nothing but contempt for mothers who abuse their unborn children in this way. its pre-natal torture is what it is. they don't deserve to have a womb.

Reply 4

Frogsofhope

2

Maybe she didn't really want the baby and is hoping if she does this it will "go away" , no matter what it is, there will be a reason she is doing this and it is hard to honestly judge her or her actions without knowing this.

Reply 5

AngelofnoColour

OP

14

marisad_uk

Maybe she didn't really want the baby and is hoping if she does this it will "go away" , no matter what it is, there will be a reason she is doing this and it is hard to honestly judge her or her actions without knowing this.

oh no, I hope not :eek:

Although I dont think shes like that, that is just evil, I mean 5 months is pretty deep in pregnancy, the baby sorta looks like a human. Just wondering - How many months is it up to, before someone can have an abortion?

Reply 6

pink_lucie

14

BlueAngel

oh no, I hope not :eek:

Although I dont think shes like that, that is just evil, I mean 5 months is pretty deep in pregnancy, the baby sorta looks like a human. Just wondering - How many months is it up to, before someone can have an abortion?

if you go privet i herd it can be up to 7 months

Reply 7

Frogsofhope

2

BlueAngel

oh no, I hope not :eek:

Although I dont think shes like that, that is just evil, I mean 5 months is pretty deep in pregnancy, the baby sorta looks like a human. Just wondering - How many months is it up to, before someone can have an abortion?

may look like a human but is still nothing more than an extension of her body, which is hers to do with how she pleases. I don't know about the law on abortions because there seems to have been a lot of debate on it recently and i've heard loads of contridicting information. I think it should really be up to term though. Actully forget I said that, I don't want this thread to turn into another debate on that :rolleyes:

Reply 8

Vixen

12

foolfarian

I have nothing but contempt for mothers who abuse their unborn children in this way. its pre-natal torture is what it is. they don't deserve to have a womb.

Gotta agree with you there. I watched this programme once where a woman carried on taking heroin while she was pregnant. The baby was born with a heroin addiction. I was absolutely disgusted.

Dunno if there is a lot you can do blueangel. It must be really hard to sit back and watch this but if having a life inside her doesnt make her choose a healthy lifestyle theres not a lot that will.

Reply 9

pete77

1

Her life !
Her Kid !
Her Choice !

Waiting for the smacks !

Reply 10

Sorani

16

I think that's horrid, if the baby is born with difficulties or deformed in anyway that's probably gonna ruin its life I hope she feels guilty for the rest of her life.

Really although you can't force her to do anything you should try talking to her, go through what can happen to babies that go through that. What they can end up like and look like, use examples if it helps. Maybe she needs a little reality check.

Reply 11

AngelofnoColour

OP

14

I think I need to sit down with her alone one day and chat to her calmly, the thing is i'm **** at this stuff, I can never be serious, I'm just gonna have to try and not smile and tell her whats she doing to the baby. I hope she listens this time.

Reply 12

pink_lucie

14

just do your best and dont bloody smile!

Reply 13

AngelofnoColour

OP

14

lessthanthree

does her husband know?

I dont really know cos I dont know him well, but I know that she never told him she smokes. Shes usually always with him, so they must drink together, should I instead speak to him first?

Pregnant friend doesnt care about her baby

Related discussions

Articles for you

How The Student Room is moderated