1. You will wake up and not know where you are.
After the first night, you'll wake up and you'll feel like you're in the strangest place. You'll look around at your half-unpacked room and, for the first time, you're alone. No mum, no dad, no annoying brothers or sisters. Usually it's the sound of silence, apart from maybe the odd mad fresher returning from a night out at 9am (of course, you're not that hardcore).
2. You'll join hundreds of clubs and societies
Freshers fair is an amazing place where everything seems brilliant. You'll get caught up in all the excitement and sign up for interesting-sounding things such as the Poetry Society, maybe a music society as well. But before you know where you are, you've been talked into signing up for both Labour and Tory societies, 30 different sports - most of which you've never heard of - and the Tiddlywinks Club because, well, why not? Needless to say, you'll never attend any of them.
3. You'll get lost on a night out and panic
All it takes is one false move, a decision to call up your best friend from home or split up from one group of friends to find another and - bang - you're lost, in the middle of nowhere. You've just loaded up Google Maps, but your phone is just about to run out of charge. Help! Anyone? Take me home, daddy!
4. You will get non-stop texts from family
They didn't like you when you were there, but as soon as you're gone, they're all over you. This is sadly going to continue: your relationship with your parents and siblings will improve to unthinkably positive levels the longer you're away. As that old phrase goes, distance makes the heart grow fonder. They might even miss you.
5. You will be forced into #Freshers2017 fun
Everyone has a night out they hate, where they spend the whole evening wishing they could go back to the familiar surroundings of their hometown. You're not alone. Whether your bête noire turns out to be a night spent playing ridiculously over-complicated drinking games, your flatmates strong-arming you into a 'hilarious' night of fancy-dress karaoke or that evening trapped in conversation with your block's resident drama queen, you'll find plenty of other stuff to do during Freshers that will actually be fun.
6. Somebody will almost burn your flat down in a cooking catastrophe
It won't take long before some muppet in another flat will force you downstairs at some godforsaken hour of the morning by setting off the fire alarm. Whoever the culprit is will be swiftly identified and given evils from your whole block. Make sure it's not you!
7. You will meet some crazy freshers
University is a melting point for every kind of personality you can possibly imagine - including plenty of attention seekers and party animals. You'll see shirtless blokes-who-lift, girls so nervously excited that they can't speak properly and lots of look-at-me stunts. Most of these people will calm down a bit once the initial Freshers frenzy has died down. As for the ones who don't, for the sake of your own sanity it's probably best to just leave them to it.
8. You'll want to do it all over again
Although you'll be tender, part of you will want to experience Freshers' Week all over again. But though your mind will concoct all kinds of scenarios of dropping out and re-enrolling next year just to recreate the buzz of that first week, don't worry. The fun's just beginning...
Are you going to uni this year?
What are you most excited about for Freshers Week?