Housemates driving you up the very thin, shared wall? You ain’t seen nothing yet…
Some Freshers are blessed with legends when they move into halls - others? Not so much...
Although there are many variations of the typically ‘bad’ housemate, here’s the most typical five that you'll probably want to avoid.
The Invisible (Wo)Man
If you thought moving into halls or shared housing would mean plans galore and shared laughter over communal dinners, think again. If you’ve moved in with the Ghosts of Universities Past, expect many an evening alone...
"ALL my flat mates stay in their rooms constantly - one of them has taken to walking around with headphones in. Another has spoken to me twice since we moved in. I can sometimes go 2 weeks without seeing another – I see her boyfriend more than her!" - Beccaarr
For some, these might seem like the ideal housemate: they never tend to disrupt your sleep, engage you in mind-numbing small talk or even cross your path that often. However, a common trait of the Invisible Housemate is to leave a trail of dirty dishes or general filth in their wake. How else would you know whether they’re still alive or not?
"One of my housemates did leave me a nice present after I went back home though – 3 inches of sick in the toilet that had been there so long it had encrusted itself to the sides." - Beccaarr
The ‘Strangely-Territorial-of-Shared-Living-Space’ type
Yep, you're probably all sharing equal parts of the rent, but there's almost always someone who feels that little bit more… possessive over the communal space:
"My horrific flatmate has taken it upon himself to create a "personal belongings" box in the kitchen, into which he puts all our stuff that we leave in the kitchen. Every time there's a few of us in there, he takes it upon himself to announce that 'maybe we should think about taking our things out of the personal belongings box and back to our rooms!'. He put a box of chocolate fingers in there today." – OhNO!
Not only will they make you feel like an imposter in your own kitchen, you'll also have to get used to the passive aggressive note system that this variety of housemate is usually very fond of. This way, they can articulately express their feelings to you all without actually having to say a word!
"My housemates leave notes such as 'Don't turn off the heating!' and 'Wipe down the chopping boards!', even though they never do..." – brokenalien
The ‘Complete-Lack-of-Respect-for-Shared-Living-Space’ kind
Type number 2 may seem bad enough, but there’s another variety on the opposite end of the spectrum that will leave you cowering in your room (mainly to avoid disease).
"I had a housemate who wouldn't clean anything...including himself. He always proper stunk the house out. He'd sit in his pants and play guitar hero literally all day next to a pile of molding dishes and watch you clean up after him and not offer to help. He trashed his room so we lost our deposits, plus he didn't pay the last 2 months of rent because he spent all his money on drugs, so we all lost a couple hundred quid." – SophieSmall
This kind of housemate is typically very fond of asserting their dominance over your shared living quarters also, and they’re certainly not afraid to let you know exactly what they think…
"My house mates leave the door off the latch all the time; I've had something stolen so I try and lock the door when I've noticed. They often have friends over and cook for them, but leave the kitchen in an absolute mess. The only time I did this, I went back into my room for 5mins, then I heard them enter the kitchen and start yelling loudly about how messy it was! Once I said to them I was thinking of flat swapping because I felt uncomfortable, and their reply was "fair enough, I wouldn’t have liked you outside flat conditions anyway”. – Zandiana Jones
Fresher’s Week is certainly not a time to catch up on your Z’s, but you’d like to think once the workload increases and the hype dies down that you’ll be able to have a few quieter nights. If you find yourself living with a Relentless Noise Maker, you better invest in some heavy-duty earplugs if you ever want to sleep again…
"I used to live with a girl who would blast Rihanna and vacuum at 4am. Not just once or twice. Consistently. At least once a week. She drove me nuts." – sinfonietta
Rihanna and hoovering aside, these non-stop party animals usually also seem to be quite fond of putting themselves in grave danger at any available opportunity - anything for the L0LzZ, after all.
"A few of my flatmates are currently running and loudly flipping onto 3 mattresses piled up in the corridor right outside my door. I just went to see what they were up to and one of them had blood pouring from his ear…" - rosieee91
However, it's important to remember that the Relentless Noise Maker is not always being drunk and disorderly. You could be lucky enough to live with a housemate that's so great at cooking, even the smoke alarm can’t resist cheering them on:
"My housemates set the smoke alarm off EVERY TIME THEY COOK, no joke. I've never set it off, so it's not exactly sensitive! They are awful cooks, they burn everything and leave the pans out for days, ruining them. I hid my wok because I fear for its safety!" – brokenalien
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em! Crack on our Freshers Party playlist to drown out those pesky housemates.
The downright ‘Creepy Ones’
Sure, everyone is different, but there’s definitely no denying that some housemates are just plain weird...
"I share a room with a psycho who doesn't speak AT ALL. He’s socially awkward and draws all these really creepy pictures and puts them on his wall. One of them is a pig's head lying on a table with a doctor cutting into it; another is a little girl holding a blood-stained knife with the words ‘born to kill’ written under it and another is a mutilated zombie dog eating someone." – Dr Zeuss
"My flat mates broke into my room and stole all my prescription medication. They also tried more than once to trick me into eating drugged baked goods…" - sinfonietta
"I hate my housemates, they throw knives at the ceiling." – Vendettagirl
Probably time to consider moving out...
Although you can't help who you end up with in first year, you can make the effort to get to know them (i.e. suss them out) before you move in!
Find your 'Freshers Megathread' in your uni forum and get chatting to potential new mates at your uni or - if things have got really bad - head over to the Find a Flatmate forum to make some new friends!
Need a grumble? You'll be in safe hands in the 'I Hate My Housemates' thread...
So who’s the worst housemate you’ve ever had?
Or maybe you've been blessed with a bunch of legends!?