This is a real personal statement written by a student for their university application. It might help you decide what to include in your own. There are lots more examples in our collection of sample personal statements.
The relevance of computer science has grown exponentially ever since machines were first built to crunch numbers. The 'personal computer' has evolved from an onerous Pandora's Box, approachable by only the most enthusiastic hobbyist to a friendly device that is ubiquitous in homes, workplaces and schools. The Internet was made available to the masses just twenty years ago and yet it has become such an important part of civilisation, to the point that the United Nations has declared internet access a human right. I want to be part of this revolution and study computer science at degree level.
The pace of innovation is such that it is likely that whatever career I pursue after graduating does not even exist yet and this is what makes the subject so exciting. I believe that I am more than suitable for the course: I possess mathematical proficiency, I have demonstrated independent study skills and I cannot stress enough my dedication and thirst for computer science.
My passion for computing stems from my father purchasing a high-end Macintosh Performa 6400 when I was three years old. I have since amassed over a dozen PCs, including several Linux systems and one desktop PC that I built myself. I have always excelled at IT, having twice received my school's top-of-year award for effort and attainment during both my years of GCSE study. At university, I want to discover for myself things such as, how one can write software that learns to recognise human faces and whatever algorithm a search engine could implement as to search fifty billion pages in less than a second, as well as developing my programming skills to an advanced level. I look forward to applying my mathematical skills more creatively to the field of computer science.
Having earned a silver medal in the Senior Maths Challenge, I attended a Masterclass at the Royal Institute. I particularly enjoyed a presentation by Prof. Ian Stewart about the 'Six Degrees of Separation'. The idea that around six links of acquaintance exist between any two people on Earth, I've since read, is very applicable to discrete maths.
I organised two weeks of work experience in the IT department of a global design firm, REMOVED. My main responsibility was setting up PCs for employees - migrating files and applications, configuring Microsoft Exchange, binding to the active directory and physically installing - though I also responded to helpdesk calls from designers. Much of the time I spent auditing the archive tapes which led to me developing a program/database solution for my A2 Computing coursework to efficiently manage this data. This real world experience has given me real insight into systems analysis and development and I feel it would be a good precursor to any industrial placements at university.
Over the last few years, I have developed an online business buying and selling CDs, DVDs and games. Lately I've been able to write programs that automate several tasks, including one that crawls thousands of web pages, extracts EAN barcodes and prices and then advises me how and where to trade. At the age of twelve, I created a community website for my neighbourhood, which featured in the national press. I have also been commissioned to design websites for a personal trainer and a bespoke tailor. Every summer since 2002, I have been involved in the REMOVED Village Fair to raise money for the REMOVED. I frequently volunteer at my college by talking to prospective students about the school and its IT department at open days. In year 11, I beta tested the Academy's remote desktop service, informing the technicians of the potential security issues and suggesting ways to improve the experience for students.
I have always been frustrated by the fact that schools seem to regard the study of computers as an afterthought and I relish the prospect of studying the raw science of computing for three years.
Universities Applied to:
- City University (G400) - Offer (360pts)
- King's College (G400) - Offer (AAB)
- University of Southampton (G400) - Offer (AAA) Insurance
- Oxford University (G400) - Rejection
- Imperial College London (G400) - Offer (A*AA+M in maths AEA or 2 in STEP I) Firm
Grades Achieved:
- Maths - A*
- Computing - A*
- Economics - A
- Law - B
- Maths AEA - Merit
Reviewer comment:
Great sections exploring links to computer science interest early on, but need to go into why these interest the applicant
Presentation mentioned is great, need to expand here!
Work experience section is good but again could be expanded to show why this was interesting for the applicant
Extra-curricular section can be made a bit more concise but is a good length.
Slightly negative tone of final sentence could be adjusted to solidify what makes the candidate a good choice for the course
A few randomly capitalised words
Start of personal statement contains overly exaggerated language which doesn't read well
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