This is a real personal statement written by a student for their university application. It might help you decide what to include in your own. There are lots more examples in our collection of sample personal statements.
From Bletchley Park’s first programmable vacuum tube computer to the widely accessible cloud of today, the development of computing has been essential to advancing the quality and sustainability of human life. I wish to study computer science in order to be part of its future by using my skills and knowledge to help progress humanity further; in particular, to improve the lives of our society’s least fortunate. Computing is one of the most powerful tools available for this, through its ability to connect people together and solve problems. An example is water leakage detection systems, which through reducing water wasted, could save billions in money and lives in the countries which need the money most.
The vast possibilities regarding the applications of cloud computing caught my imagination during a work experience placement at IBM. I saw a product in development - an automated tracking system for supermarket produce that greatly improves efficiency. Similar technology could be developed to benefit poorer communities by helping the entrepreneurs within them.
After completing my course, I plan to either work for an ethical business serving citizens in developing countries, or enter academic research to further advance our understanding and capabilities in computing to enhance the lives of current and future generations. At the Sutton Trust Summer School at Churchill College, Cambridge this summer, I studied security engineering in chip and pin bank cards. I found this really fascinating and its continued development is definitely something I look forward to studying and researching in further detail.
I led a team from my school which ultimately won the 2012 NDS Red Button Challenge, a half-year project to design and pitch an app for the satellite TV market. For this, I was awarded the school’s annual computing cup. This, together with taking part in the Rotary Club Youth Leadership Award residential weekend last year developed my management, team working and presentation skills – useful abilities for group projects on my proposed course.
Tackling problems methodically and logically in A-level Maths, Further Maths and Physics has prepared me for confronting challenges in computer science. The algorithm and logic topics in the decision modules have been really enjoyable and introduced me to the core structural principles of computer programs. I supplemented my interest in maths by attending lunchtime extension classes and Cambridge University’s HE+ programme, both exploring topics outside the syllabus, and also by self-studying two additional modules.
My Extended Project on the topic of cyberwarfare relates very closely to the areas of politics, current affairs and computing, all areas of strong interest to me. It explores a lesser-known but truly massive potential impact of computing on the world. It allowed me to build upon my research skills, introduced me to Harvard referencing and gave me an opportunity to strengthen my extended essay writing skills.
A-level Music contrasts with my other subjects in that it is a highly creative art. My success with composition shows that I am also able to work eclectically and creatively – important aspects within any degree course.
I regularly play bass guitar, electric guitar or piano at regular local gigs and at commercial functions with two bands in my free time. I enjoy the journey of seeing many hours of practice, song-arrangement, and the rehearsing of them gradually become a polished performance. I also work at my secondary school as a tutor for their Rock Academy programme, teaching bands consisting of musical beginners. It has improved my people skills by helping me to become more patient and confident.
My other interests include Road Cycling and Formula One. I am particularly fascinated by the highly tactical element of these sports, and the logical reasoning and thought behind teams’ successful strategies which often enable them to outdo their superior competitors.
Universities Applied to:
- Cambridge (Computer Science) - Rejection after interview
- Imperial College London (Computing) - Offer (A*AAA with A* in Maths AND A in EPQ) Firm acceptance
- Bristol (Computer Science) - Offer (EITHER AAA with As Maths and Further Maths OR A*AA with A* in Maths) Insurance acceptance
- Warwick (Computer Science) - Offer (AAA) Declined
- Birmingham (Computer Science) - Offer (EITHER A*AA with A* in Maths OR AAA if firm acceptance) Declined
Grades Achieved:
- Maths (A2) - A*
- Further Maths - A*
- Music (A2) - A*
- Physics (A2) - A
- Extended Project - A*
Predicted grades:
- Maths A*
- Further Maths - A
- Physics - A*
- Music - A*
- Extended Project - A*
Grades on application:
- Maths (AS) - A, 98.3%
- Further Maths (AS) - A, 77.3% with a module swapped over from Maths
- Physics (AS) - A, 90.7%
- Music (AS) - A, 92%
- Economics (AS) - B, 78%
- German (AS) - C, 61% taken in year 11
- GCSEs - 12 A*s (including Maths, English Lit. and English Lang.), 1 A
- FSMQ - A
Reviewer comment:
Great to see an interest in career early on in the personal statement to show the applicant is thinking of their future
Work experience at IBM is very good but not covered in enough detail. What about it interested the applicant? Why?
EPQ section is good to mention referencing but doesn't delve much more into links with applied course
Far too much extra-curricular is mentioned here.
Needs more to do with computer science explored in this personal statement.
Too much A-level content
Lots of random capitalisation of words
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