| This is a real personal statement written by a student for their university application. It might help you decide what to include in your own. There are lots more examples in our collection of sample personal statements. |
I have always had a love for subjects that demand logical, critical thinking. At school, Mathematics was the main academic outlet for this passion; however studying Economics A-Level has enabled me to see the world in a different light and has inspired me to increase my awareness of the current world issues, through regularly reading the Economist and keeping up to date with current affairs. I see that Economics touches and changes the lives of everyone and with a true understanding of Economics I will have the ability to achieve my goals.
From reading The Undercover Economist and A Free Lunch, which contextualised the world in simple terms of supply, demand, and competition, I find it interesting that many big issues in the world can be brought back to those simple theories. Yet what fascinates me more is that every theory or policy has two sides. I derive great satisfaction from spotting the weaknesses in economic policy, identifying, analysing and evaluating the secondary effects and unintended consequences.
Currently, I am thoroughly enjoying being involved in the Bank of England Times Target 2.0 challenge as an enrichment activity. In our team we are analysing and evaluating information from a number of sources, i.e. using different data sets to establish the extent to which the economy is running up against capacity constraints on the supply side. We are also keeping up to date with economic developments in the UK and world economy in order to assess what should be done to interest rates in April. Working in a team of four, we must present our decision and be questioned by a panel of Bank of England representatives. This challenging work has developed my communication and data analysis skills.
Given the importance of Mathematics, in particular Statistics, in Economics today, I believe my passion for Mathematics will be highly beneficial. Always having a natural ability for Mathematics, I have strived to nurture it through taking AS Further Mathematics this year. In particular my favourite area of pure maths, calculus, will be particularly useful in microeconomics, for example, to derive individual budget constraint curves. As Mathematics and Statistics prove to be increasingly vital in business, finance and the economy, studying and understanding its applications within these areas would be very rewarding for me.
It is one of my main aspirations to speak a foreign language fluently and ultimately to live and work in France. When I participated in the French Exchange last year I was captivate by the culture and way of life. My knowledge of the French language improved vastly, and I gained confidence and developed people skills. I feel that full immersion in a language is the most beneficial way to learn about that language and culture, and I would like to expand my knowledge of French by taking studying/work abroad options. Throughout my academic career I have participated in school life fully, taking on several roles that developed my sense of responsibility and maturity such as peer mentor, school council representative, and Deputy Head Girl. Outside school I am taking part in the Duke of Edinburgh Award, and have nearly completed my Silver Award, which has taken dedication, perseverance and commitment as we have faced many struggles organising and completing it. I have been an assistant athletics coach for a group of under 11s which improved my confidence and patience. I developed entrepreneurial skills and an awareness of how Economics links with business on the smallest scale from my venture on EBay, buying and selling stock, and from working with my mother to set up and run her payroll business.
I feel that my past academic performance, work and other experiences outside school, as well as my personal qualities of determination, ambition, and commitment will help me to succeed at university. I relish the opportunity and challenge of playing a full part in a thriving university department.
Universities applied to:
- Warwick (MMORSE) - Offer accepted
Comments
General Comments:
Overall, this is a strong personal statement in terms of content. There’s a lot of reading material and outside ventures from the applicant to bolster their statement and they have related their experiences to the course very well. In places characters could be saved and there is potential to get a lot more out of what they have done so far. It’s also very important they get a unique and interesting opening sentence.
It's worth discussing more varied texts on economics and giving a personal opinion into what they have read. Space could be saved by spending less time on the applicant's desire to participate in a year abroad which does not require a whole paragraph.
A minor point is the use of capitalisation which is consistently wrong in the statement. They've constantly capitalised mathematics, economics etc when it isn't needed; it is a normal, common noun and has no more need for a capital letter than the word cat or dog. The only case where capital letters are needed for subjects in PSs is when the applicant is referring to A level Economics or BA History. If they are simply saying "I like maths" then it isn't needed, its no different to saying "I like cats"
Comments on the statement:
I have always had a love for subjects that demand logical, critical thinking. The use of the word “always” here is somewhat of a cliché in personal statements. Perhaps an explanation as to when the applicant first enjoyed these subjects, or an explaination as to why would be more appropriate, perhaps because of the consistent nature of them, or their useful applications in society. At school, mathematics was the main academic outlet for this passion; however studying Economics A-Level has enabled me to see the world in a different light and has inspired me to increase my awareness of the current world issues, how has it? Applicants will often write "A level X has enabled me to do X and now I feel X" without actually saying why or giving an explanation of how this has happened; it isn't good enough just to state something without backing up the reason behind it. through regularly reading "The Economist" and keeping up to date with current affairs. This is a good sentence as it not only explains why the applicant would enjoy his or her degree but also gives the applicant a chance to mention their outside reading. The only criticism here is that the Economist is a very commonly cited example of outside reading and perhaps the applicant should try reading something else instead/as well. If applicants are using the Economist in their PS it would be best to discuss a particular article they've read in the same critical manner they'd discuss a book I see that economics touches and changes the lives of everyone and with a true understanding of economics I will have the ability to achieve my goals. This is a mixed sentence and the two clauses don't really follow on. It’s good because it shows the applicant likes economics because they realise it affects everybody, but it’s also a perfect opportunity wasted to tell the admissions tutor what his or her goals are and further explanation is required. Telling the admissions tutor one has goals after university shows motivation to complete one’s degree.
From reading "The Undercover Economist" This is another great cliché of economics applications; there is very little that applicants can say about this text which isn't also being said by thousands of other students. It's always best where possible to discuss books that are slightly different or unusual as this will better interest the reader. and "A Free Lunch", which contextualised the world in simple terms of supply, demand, and competition, Applicants will often provide a summary of the book which is not the point of mentioning reading. The admissions tutors will be well aware of what is in the book, what they do not know is what the applicant actually thought about it so summaries etc are irrelevant and it is much better to discuss the book with a personal view on the contents I find it interesting that many big issues in the world can be brought back to those simple theories. Yet what fascinates me more is that every theory or policy has two sides. I derive great satisfaction from spotting the weaknesses in economic policy, identifying, analysing and evaluating the secondary effects and unintended consequences. This is very good as one can tell the applicant is passionate about the logical as well as practical nature of economics and how complex real world situations can be modelled. Maybe the applicant could build on this by citing specific real world examples or perhaps they could go into more depth about a specific theory and their opinions from one of the texts they have read.
Currently, I am thoroughly enjoying being involved in the Bank of England Times Target 2.0 challenge as an enrichment activity.It’s good to have extracurriculars in one’s personal statement but precious characters could be saved here with the ommission of “thoroughly” and “as an enchrinment activity” In our team we are analysing and evaluating information from a number of sources, i.e. avoid contractions in personal statements using different data sets to establish the extent to which the economy is running up against capacity constraints on the supply side. So what has the applicant learnt from this? how have they built on their existing knowledge/interests? We are also keeping up to date with economic developments in the UK and world economy in order to assess what should be done to interest rates in April. Working in a team of four, we must present our decision and be questioned by a panel of Bank of England representatives. Universities will be well aware of what actually happens in this contest This challenging work has developed my communication and data analysis skills. Good but the applicant could expand on this, It’s also built on their team working skills, ability to work under pressure and time management skills. Mentioning "we" all of the time weakens the applicants own contributions, they'd be better to say "I" as this implies they're doing it of their own accord rather than following the group.
Given the importance of mathematics, in particular statistics, in economics today, I believe my passion for mathematics will be highly beneficial. This is stating the obvious slightly and is not really relevant Always having a natural ability for mathematics, I have strived to nurture it through taking AS Further Mathematics this year. The admissions tutor knows what subjects the applicant is taking so this isn't necessary to include. Also, “natural ability” might be considered somewhat arrogant. Perhaps “natural enthusiasm” might be a better choice of words. Leave it to the referee to comment on how amazing they are. In particular my favourite area of pure maths, calculus, will be particularly useful in microeconomics, for example, to derive individual budget constraint curves. Good. This shows the applicant looks ahead beyond the normal A level maths and economics and is able to recognise the relevance of what they have learnt in maths As mathematics and statistics prove to be increasingly vital in business, finance and the economy, studying and understanding its applications within these areas would be very rewarding for me. This is a good sentence in explaining why they want to study the subject and the relationship between maths and economics.
It is one of my main aspirations to speak a foreign language fluently and ultimately to live and work in France. When I participated in the French exchange last year I was captivate by the culture and way of life. My knowledge of the French language improved vastly, and I gained confidence and developed people skills. I feel that full immersion in a language is the most beneficial way to learn about that language and culture, and I would like to expand my knowledge of French by taking studying/work abroad options. Fair enough, but not all the degrees the applicant is applying for actually offer a year abroad and this is a lot of words spent on something not directly relevant to their chosen degree. The applicant could always take advantage of a year abroad without this in their personal statement. Unless it is a compulsory component of the course then a sentence is entirely sufficient
Throughout my academic career I have participated in school life fully, taking on several roles that developed my sense of responsibility and maturity such as peer mentor, school council representative, and Deputy Head Girl. Outside school I am taking part in the Duke of Edinburgh Award, and have nearly completed my Silver Award, which has taken dedication, perseverance and commitment as we have faced many struggles organising and completing it. Good. The applicant could also try linking this to how their university life would benefit from the experience gained I have been an assistant athletics coach for a group of under 11s which improved my confidence and patience. I developed entrepreneurial skills and an awareness of how Economics links with business on the smallest scale from my venture on EBay, buying and selling stock, and from working with my mother to set up and run her payroll business. This seems like the best extracurricular achievement the applicant has by far and perhaps more words should be spent on it and it could be discussed earlier in the paragraph
I feel that my past academic performance, work and other experiences outside school, as well as my personal qualities of determination, ambition, and commitment will help me to succeed at university. This sentence is a bit list like and it feels like they're trying to cover a bit too many attributes I relish the opportunity and challenge of playing a full part in a thriving university department. It's always good to have a decisive conclusion to round off the personal statement but if they could link this into maths/economics etc it would be better
