This is a real personal statement written by a student for their university application. It might help you decide what to include in your own. There are lots more examples in our collection of sample personal statements.
A fascination with roller coasters launched my curiosity for engineering. The precise design of modern roller coasters, as an engineering microcosm, has interested me in the diverse facets of the subject. Delving into the evolution of coaster development from wire models to force vector design software prompted me to create my own rides in an industry standard simulator, allowing me to examine energy transfer, forces and safety. My concepts seek to safely thrill riders, necessitating G-loading to test accelerations and leading me to consult an expert from a pioneering manufacturer to understand industry standards and optimal supporting methods. After reading innovative designer John Wardley’s autobiography, I was inspired to use unique ways to optimize multiple aspects beyond the physics such as non-riders appeal, earning me repeated success in international competitions. Such projects helped me understand many considerations, for example footprint, planning limitations and capacity, whilst furthering my eye for detail.
My research of launch technologies highlighted the low maintenance of Linear Synchronous Motors used on Blackpool’s ICON. In discussion with Electricity North West engineers I learned of the ride’s power demands and how its harmonic and flicker impact on the electrical distribution system was assessed. I synthesized my ideas for options to improve LSM technologies in my prize-winning essay on potential innovation for the roller coaster industry.
During time working at Alton Towers, I took part in the daily roller coaster checks, essential for mitigating risks and maintaining availability. This consideration of safety made me curious to research the ethics of engineering. On BAE Systems’ Industrial Cadets silver accredited Engineering Taster Week, I undertook a detailed aircraft design project involving calculations based on our experience seeing the construction of Typhoon fighters and learning about their equipment. These aircraft have been part of global conflict – are engineers accountable for their use? I considered whether intentionally lethal weapons and benign machines causing death by accident are equally immoral, before focusing on the safety technology of Heads-Up Displays. Experiencing a cutting-edge augmented reality HUD inspired me to research online, concluding that when implemented correctly benefits such as its intuitive nature likely outweigh risks such as distraction from flight. I relished the chance to study underlying theory and new technologies alongside the process of developing and refining new concepts.
My participation in summer schools have assured me I have the interest and intellect required to study engineering. Designing, constructing then testing my own beam on UNIQ was a highlight; I was interested how structural choices affected the modes of failure and learned skills like spot-welding and prototype construction. Also, use of SOLIDWORKS at Oxford built on my prior 3D modelling. On the Sutton Trust course at Durham University I completed a report on a proposal for a windfarm. Based on laboratory experiments I considered multi-faceted analysis such as blade solidity, angle of attack and turbine location – I was particularly enthused by exploring alternative vertical axis turbines to overcome urban challenges.
I have taken part in STEP sessions tackling complex maths problems to boost my resilience, going on to participate in the British Maths Olympiad, receive gold in the UKMT and Silver in the Physics AS challenge. My hobbies of photography and singing with choirs demonstrate my creativity suited to engineering – I hope to continue with music at university as a choral scholar. I am an able team leader and member: besides being Head Boy, I led my Young Enterprise team to success in regional finals where our product won the sustainability and marketing prizes. Always being up for a challenge, I eagerly anticipate starting the next chapter of my engineering career!
Universities applied to:
Engineering Science, Oxford - Offered A*A*A, Firm
General Engineering, Durham - Offered AAB, Insurance
Mechanical Engineering, Imperial College London - Offered A*A*A, Declined
General Engineering, Warwick - Offered A*AA, Declined
Mechanical Engineering, Bristol - Offered AAB, Declined
Reviewer comment:
- First paragraph is great overall, although some repetition and long sentences could be cut down. Great to have a book mentioned early on to capture the attention of the reader.
- Paragraph about ICON shows interest but could be expanded to answer why this was interesting to the applicant.
- Section on Alton Towers is strong as the applicant explains why they enjoyed the tasks completed when working there.
- Summer school section contains a few lists, can expand here.
- Final sentence is a great way to end the personal statement, it shows enthusiasm and drive for university.
Find expert advice on writing an excellent personal statement over on The Uni Guide.
