By studying Veterinary Medicine I will be able to fulfil my desire to work closely with both people and animals. It will also consolidate my knowledge of science, allowing it to grow further. I am aware of the challenges posed by this vocation, but I feel that there is great satisfaction to be gained from working in animal welfare. The work experience that I have completed and enjoyed has further convinced me that Veterinary Medicine is a progressive profession with new developments constantly being made that will provide lifelong interest.
I have spent a total of five weeks at five veterinary practices, covering small animals, large animals, equine and exotic animals. At these practices I was allowed to watch operations, was able to assist in some of the pre-operative procedures and go on farm visits.
I was able to learn about milking and the various aspects of dairy and poultry farming during my two weeks at Mill Farm. A week of lambing, several days on a pig farm and a week at a racing stable provided very worthwhile close contact with a variety of animals. From this work I have gained a clear understanding of the farmer's point of view; e.g. the difficulties many farmers face in maintaining a viable business whilst meeting the mandatory requirements for animal welfare.
At the Veterinary Laboratories Agency I learnt about dealing with samples from post mortem and histology. I have spent a day at an abattoir and for 10 months I have volunteered at the Blue Cross. I have also attended the Vetsix and Vetsim courses, gaining a Marine Mammal Medic certificate.
Apart from my studies, I pursue many other interests. In the Duke of Edinburgh Award scheme I have achieved Bronze and Silver Awards and am currently finishing the Gold. I am also a Millennium Volunteer, having completed 100 hours voluntary work in August 2003 (BTCV conservation work). Now I am working towards a 200 hour goal.
I am a dedicated sportswoman and particularly enjoy horse riding, skiing and karate. In the latter I soon hope to obtain my green belt.
Music is also a great passion for me. I play the flute and am working towards Grade 6. I am lead flute in the school's Concert Band and am the Music Coordinator for my house, organising practices and encouraging younger students to participate in the yearly competition.
This year I have been appointed a member of the school's sixth form council with specific duties to represent Year 9, bringing student concerns to the attention of staff. This has been a good way of improving my team working skills. I also help to run Amnesty International/Youth Action as human rights is something I feel strongly about. I support the environmental club as well, having helped to set up a recycling campaign. My keen interest in reading and English has inspired my involvement in the school Newsletter, which enables me to unleash my more creative side.
All these activities are helping me to develop my interpersonal skills and I am constantly striving to improve in communication, tactfulness, patience and maturity - qualities that I believe are vital for a career in veterinary medicine. Adaptability and open-mindedness are two of my strengths. I have previously abroad, which has given me flexibility and appreciation of different cultures, as well as a love of travel. I anticipate going to university as an opportunity to further expand my learning, my horizons, to meet colleagues and to become involved.
Comments
General Comments:
This personal statement has a lot of potential, and the ending is very well worded, save for some minor comments that are over the top or irrelevant. The applicant clearly has a lot of varied work experience, which comes across well in the statement. However, at times the passion of the applicant in pursuing these and their desire to become a vet does not come across. It is important to try to link things more into why the different experiences the applicant has had are essential in becoming a vet, and expand on their work experience. At the moment there is a little too much time spent on extra-curricular hobbies. In a personal statement, less is often more and it is better to discuss fewer hobbies but discuss them in more depth than to list lots of hobbies. At times the statement reads too much like a list; lists are not interesting to read and should be kept to a minimum. There is also work that could be done on the opening to be more creative and to have a bigger impact to go with the good ending.
Comments on the statement:
By studying Veterinary Medicine I will be able to fulfil my desire to work closely with both people and animals. It will also consolidate my knowledge of science, allowing it to grow further. These first two sentences need to have a bit more impact, for example the applicant could elaborate on what parts of science that relate to the field of veterinary medicine particularly interest them. Alternatively they could give an example of why they like working closely with both animals and people, not just animals on their own, as the vocation requires good people skills as well as the desire to want to work with animals. I am aware of the challenges posed by this vocation, but I feel that there is great satisfaction to be gained from working in animal welfare. What kinds of challenges, and how does the satisfaction from the career outweigh this? It is a long hard career, so the uni admission tutors need to see that the applicant's understands how and why the benefits outweigh the negatives. This is a classic example where applicants will make a statement but not back it up. They have missed a valuable chance to say why they believe this, as right now it doesn't sound like they really do understand the challenges, they're just saying it!
My work experience that I have completed and enjoyed has further convinced me that Veterinary Medicine is a progressive profession with new developments constantly being made that will provide me with a lifelong interest. The key issue is why? and how does this relate to the applicant's desire to be a vet, what about the academic side of it? this isn't just a vocational subject, you have to learn the theory and academics too! I have spent a total of five weeks at five veterinary practices, covering small animals, large animals, equine and exotic animals. At these practices I was allowed to watch operations, was able to assist in some of the pre-operative procedures What types? and go on farm visits. What did the applicant learn from this? I would particularly expand on one or two cases the applicant has seen at the vets as this will be one of the main focuses at interviews, rather than just putting an exhaustive list detailing what they did. It is much better to discuss what they learnt and what they gained from this about how the profession works. There's not really any passion coming across from the applicant here, its as though they're saying they think it'll make a nice job and that's it, I would encourage them to be much more enthusiastic when they go into detail about their experiences.
I was able to learn about milking and the various aspects of dairy and poultry farming during my two weeks at Mill Farm. A week of lambing and several days on a pig farm and a week at a racing stable I would put the week at the racing stables in a different paragraph, and mainly talk about farming aspects here as a racing stable is not an aspect of farm work. provided very worthwhile close contact with a variety of animals. From this work I have gained a clear understanding of the farmer's point of view; e.g. such as the difficulties many farmers face in maintaining a viable business whilst meeting the mandatory requirements for animal welfare. I like this part a lot, the applicant could also put in something about what they did, such as giving iron vaccinations to the piglets for the prevention of anaemia, and how important this is, and how each part relates to the chosen career as a vet. There is no clear link between how this work would help them as a veterinary surgeon.
At the Veterinary Laboratories Agency I learnt about dealing with samples from post mortem and histology. I have spent a day at an abattoir and for 10 months I have volunteered at the Blue Cross. I have also attended the Vetsix and Vetsim courses, gaining a Marine Mammal Medic certificate. What did the applicant learn from the post mortem/histology samples that relate to a career as a vet? I would also try not to list the work experience, but expand a little on each place. This last part seems a little odd part at the end of the work experience section and doesn't clearly link in, I would also move the Vet Lab agency part to where the applicant talks about their veterinary work experience as they clearly link together, and could perhaps be cross referenced.
Apart from my studies, I pursue many other interests. In the Duke of Edinburgh Award scheme I have achieved Bronze and Silver Awards and I am currently finishing the Gold. I am also a Millennium Volunteer, having completed 100 hours voluntary work in August 2003 (BTCV conservation work). Try to avoid brackets in a PS as they are quite informal and messy. Now I am working towards a 200 hour goal. I am a dedicated sportswoman and particularly enjoy horse riding, skiing and karate. In the latter I soon hope to obtain my green belt. Music is also a great passion for me. I play the flute and I am working towards Grade 6. I am lead flute in the school's Concert Band and I am the Music Coordinator for my house, organising practices and encouraging younger students to participate in the yearly competition.
This year I have been appointed a member of the school's sixth form council with specific duties to represent Year 9, bringing student concerns to the attention of staff. This has been a good way of improving my team working skills. I also help to run Amnesty International/Youth Action as human rights is something I feel strongly about. I support the environmental club as well, having helped to set up a recycling campaign. My keen interest in reading and English has inspired my involvement in the school Newsletter, which enables me to unleash my more creative side.
I would perhaps cut down a little on the activities and hobbies part in both of these paragraphs, and expand a little more on the work experience the applicant has seen, as these are much more important. In reality, the academics and pure subject content are far more important and an applicant should aim to have 1 paragraph (or around 30%) of their PS on the extra things they've done in life. Universities know there isn't room to include everything so therefore they should pick the key 2 or 3 things they've done and speak about them in more detail with particular reference to skills. The way these activities have been written here are far too much like a list, which is less interesting for the reader.
All these activities are helping me to develop my interpersonal skills Instead of generic terms, it is better to reference specific skills and to discuss them in relation to an experience to demonstrate how they were developed. and I am constantly striving to improve in communication, tactfulness, patience and maturity, qualities that I believe are vital for a career in veterinary medicine. This is good, but something they could bring in at the conclusion Adaptability and open-mindedness are two of my strengths. This is too much and best left to the referee to comment on what an amazing personality they have I have previously been abroad, which has given me flexibility and appreciation of different cultures, as well as a love of travel. This sentence is not relevant I anticipate going to university as an opportunity to further expand my learning, my horizons, to meet colleagues and to become involved. The ending is very well done, and leaves the right impact.
