• Personal Statement:Medicine 36

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Medicine Personal Statement

Disease can take everything from us; potentially undermining our capacity to meet challenges, seek happiness or improve ourselves. Valuing all of these things within myself, one of the most frustrating things I have had to witness is people being unable to do the same. We cannot give people happiness, but effective healthcare can give people the chance to seek their own.

Of course, healthcare has many facets; but a longing to ask 'why?', and also to question the answer, has helped lead me toward medicine. Whilst at college, exploring the human body, more intricate than any man-made machine, has helped me feed this fascination. Case studies like cystic fibrosis made it especially relevant. In addition, books such as 'The Chemistry of Life' and 'The Man Who Mistook His Wife For His Hat' have helped me extend my passion past the scope of the curriculum, engaging with ideas independently.

Furthermore, AS Perspectives on Science has developed my ability and desire to interact with the medical world. The course culminated in an extended report in which I chose to discuss the scientific and ethical implications of HIV testing; questioning issues such as the extent to which patient autonomy should be endorsed. This has been enormously satisfying, and my drive to learn about medical cause, effect and treatment has only increased. Along with my Philosophy course, this has helped to shape the way I think about the world and given me the tools, and opportunity, to engage with other people and their ideas.

I have always had a need to help people. More recently, highlighted by volunteering at St. Michael's Hospice, I have developed my devotion to caring. Assisting in providing palliative care has been a difficult but exceptionally rewarding experience. Each time I connected with a patient, I felt I had added something to his or her day, if only for a little while. To then find the following week that they had deteriorated was hard, but pushed me to persevere. Perhaps the most poignant lesson I have learned is that, however much we wish otherwise, there is a limit to what we can do for people; there will be times when I am faced with helplessness. Complementing this, partaking in a project evaluating sexual health services has given me the chance to help spur improvement. But more importantly, analysing healthcare from a patient perspective emphasised the fundamental need for integrity, effective communication and understanding. Hence, all of my volunteer work has helped me to develop, among others, my sensitivity and interpersonal skills.

Additionally, teaching myself piano and exploring its complexities, I have had many opportunities to develop my dedication and independence. While in a youth folk band, I was chosen to participate in a music exchange. I enjoyed immersing myself in new cultures and, travelling around France and Germany, worked with musicians far more skillful than myself. Furthermore, my love of martial arts has also given me chances to push my limits. The more I practice both of these, the more I realise how much more there is to learn. Being elected as head boy in secondary school I also worked to progress other skills including teamwork as well as public speaking.

I recognise medicine is a difficult route, but it is the challenge which makes it more rewarding. Not only does it enable me to take my passion beyond college to a setting where my knowledge must constantly evolve, but, perhaps more importantly, it allows me to put this into practice in a meaningful way. I hope that in doing so I can give others the same opportunities I have had myself

Universities Applied to:

  • Oxford - Offer
  • Imperial - Offer
  • SGUL - Offer
  • Southampton - Offer

Grades Achieved:

GCSEs: 9A*s 2 A's

AS Levels:

  • Chemistry - A
  • Biology - A
  • Maths - A
  • Philosophy - A
  • English Literature - A
  • Perspectives on Science - A

Comments

General Comments:

Extremely good, strong personal statement. Very clever use of English with no grammatical errors. Few errors in punctuation but nothing to show major concerns about. Only one use of clichéd terminology, however it seemed to be appropriate and acceptable.

The statement is slightly short at 3700 characters.

The structure and flow of the statement is superb, as is the content. Everything is covered in the right places and in the right amount of detail. There is a lot of reflection shown and the author expands into detail when talking about work experience and voluntary work, in order to show what they have learnt and how they have/will apply it to medicine. The opening and closing paragraphs are original, creative and impressive.

The author clearly understands the career and shows a great passion and desire to want to be able to practise medicine.

Even extra-curricular activities are carefully worded to ensure they are relevant to medicine in terms of the skills learnt and the qualities shown.

In conclusion, this is a very good personal statement.

Comments on the statement:

Disease can take everything from us; potentially undermining our capacity to meet challenges, seek happiness or improve ourselves. This is a brilliant opening sentence. It has imaginative, creative writing and captures the attention of the reader. Valuing all of these things within myself, one of the most frustrating things I have had to witness is people being unable to do the same. We cannot give people happiness, but effective healthcare can give people the chance to seek their own. Fabulous use of English. This is a creative, fun opening paragraph and is a perfect example of making the reader want to know more.

Of course, healthcare has many facets; but a longing to ask 'why?', and also to question the answer, has helped lead me toward medicine. Again, impeccable English grammar and punctuation makes this quite complex sentence easy to read and understand whilst captivating the reader. Whilst at college, exploring the human body, more intricate than any man-made machine, has helped me feed this fascination. Cliché, but very well formulated and fits in nicely with the general English ability of the author. Case studies like cystic fibrosis made it especially relevant. Good reflective, appropriate sentence showing knowledge and understanding of CF. In addition, books such as 'The Chemistry of Life' and 'The Man Who Mistook His Wife For His Hat' have helped me extend my passion past the scope of the curriculum, engaging with ideas independently. This is an excellent, brief mention of extra-curricular research showing desire and passion for medicine beyond the scope of the syllabus. A great point to expand upon in interviews as well.

Furthermore, AS Perspectives on Science has developed my ability and desire to interact with the medical world. The course culminated in an extended report, in which I chose to discuss the scientific and ethical implications of HIV testing; questioning issues such as the extent to which patient autonomy should be endorsed. Again, a detailed enough brief to show that this candidate has done research, but not so detailed as to be wasteful with their space. Also a good topic to expand upon in interview. This has been enormously satisfying, and my drive to learn about medical cause, effect and treatment has only increased. Along with my philosophy course, this has helped to shape the way I think about the world and given me the tools, and opportunity, to engage with other people and their ideas. Well phrased sentence and explains indirectly how his academic work has influenced his career choice. The preceding sentence shows good knowledge of medicine and shows that the author is able to reflect on the vocational aspect of the course, without mentioning it directly.

I have always had a need to help people. More recently, highlighted by volunteering at St. Michael's a local hospice, I have developed my devotion to caring. Shows the necessary attitudes required to be a doctor. Assisting in providing palliative care has been a difficult, but exceptionally rewarding, experience. Each time I connected with a patient, I felt I had added something to his or her day, if only for a little while. To then find the following week that they had deteriorated was hard, but pushed me to persevere. Really good. Shows empathy and care, but also a desire to not give up. Perhaps the most poignant lesson I have learned is that, however much we wish otherwise, there is a limit to what we can do for people; there will be times when I am faced with helplessness. Very good reflection on what the author has experienced and what they are likely to experience in the future. Shows understanding of the career path and the role of a doctor in it. Complementing this, partaking in a project evaluating sexual health services has given me the chance to help spur improvement. But more importantly, analysing healthcare from a patient perspective emphasised the fundamental need for integrity, effective communication and understanding. Hence, all of my volunteer work has helped me to develop, among others, my sensitivity and interpersonal skills. This is a perfect example of how to display your work experience and voluntary work in a clinical manner whilst also showing what skills have been learnt and why they are important.

Additionally, teaching myself piano and exploring its complexities, I have had many opportunities to develop my dedication and independence. Even with extra-curricular activities, the author is able to show skills which are easily applicable to medicine. While in a youth folk band, I was chosen to participate in a music exchange. I enjoyed immersing myself in new cultures and, travelling around France and Germany, worked with musicians far more skilful than myself. Furthermore, my love of martial arts has also given me chances to push my limits. The more I practice both of these, the more I realise how much more there is to learn. Being elected as head boy in secondary school, I also worked to progress other skills including teamwork as well as public speaking. Very good, concise, economical paragraph displaying a wide variety of hobbies and activities. They are made relevant to medicine indirectly and skills are made apparent without the author necessarily having to say them directly.

I recognise medicine is a difficult route, but it is the challenge which makes it more rewarding. Not only does it enable me to take my passion beyond college to a setting where my knowledge must constantly evolve, but, perhaps more importantly, it allows me to put this into practice in a meaningful way. I hope that in doing so, I can give others the same opportunities I have had myself. Nice finish to the PS. Short paragraph entertaining why they believe they are a good person to be studying medicine. They show understanding of the career by demonstrating positive and negative aspects whilst giving reasons as to why they believe, they are suited to cope with them.


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