Wikipedia's Definition: Miscarriage or spontaneous abortion is the natural or spontaneous end of a pregnancy at a stage where the embryo or fetus is incapable of surviving, generally defined in humans at prior to 20 weeks of gestation. Miscarriage is the most common complication of early pregnancy. The medical term "spontaneous abortion" is used in reference to miscarriages because the medical term "abortion" refers to any terminated pregnancy, deliberately induced or spontaneous, although in common parlance it refers specifically to active termination of pregnancy.
When I found out I was pregnant, I have to admit it was a major shock. I was on the pill, hadn't missed any as far as i was aware.... did everything i could.... apparently not.
I was a week late for my period - originally thought it was down to stress - was it getting later because I was worrying about it being a day late? College worries, depression blah blah blah. I spoke to my dad and told him I was worrried that I was late. He then went to superdrug and got me a pregnancy test. When it came back posative, it didn't go down to well. I was sitting in the loo going "oh crap..." then passed out. My dad hit the roof - "it's my worst fear. A teenage pregnant daughter".
He went round to my partner and went livid at him. The next day was a monday, and things had settled down. My parents had accepted that it wasnt the end of the world, was my problem and as I am going to be 20 in 4 months its fine. I went to the doctor to have it confirmed and to arrange a termination, as I had suffered from a mental breakdown 6 months before and neither me or my partner where financially stable enough. So I had arranged a consultation with the sexual health clinic the following monday. Excellent - this will be easy (I was blocking out unwanted emotions.)
The next day, my dad went round my partners again and hit the roof... again.
I went round to his, spoke with him and we did agree we where doing the right thing. I had started having doubts as having a child was the one thing I want more than anything else in the world. I'd had a slight tummy ache all day and had gone off food. I managed to eat one mini sausage roll in the evening but my tummy pains had got alot worse. Me and my partner phoned for an ambulance (good old NHS taking 45 minutes to get here *thumbs up*)
I got to hospital, was sat waiting in a corridor for 5 hours, but they did give me morphine, and I was told by my partner and parents that I said the doctor looked like an oompa loompa because i was so drugged up on pain killers.
They took me to the gynecology ward, where I was examined my a turkish doctor who surprised me with a not-so-gental-touch. "Your 5 and a half weeks - but I dont know why you have pains, it might be a natural abortion." During this time, my father and partner had made up profusley. Nothing like a hospital visit to iron out bad feelings.
A week passed, and the pains had gone away. The following Tuesday I was staying round my other halfs, and was getting bad tummy pains again. I had been to my appointment at the sexual health clinic and yet again, had a probe with a condom and lube on, was put up my vagina and I was told something didnt look right and I was definatly doing the right thing by terminating it. This made me feel better as i was getting major doubts and crying rarther alot.
So on the Tuesday, as I was saying, I was getting bad tummy pains again. We had had sex, stupid I know, but I had found my sex drive had gone WOOSH!
When i went to clean myself up, I saw blood in my knickers. "JOSH!!!" I was screaming his name over and over again, he came in, saw me crying and then saw the old looking spots of blood. I decided I would ring the sexual health clinic in the morning to get it checked out. I was crying all night and my emotions where up in the air.
The next morning I started getting very bad tummy pains, and Josh rang an ambulance for me, where I was rushed, blue light, to A and E. They took me to a seperate room as I was literally screaming in pain - it felt like i was constipated but still only a tiny little bit of blood. They took blood tests and then took me to the gynecology ward.
I should explain here that I live slap bang in the middle of two hospitals. On the previous Tuesday i was taken to Kings Lynn A and E and the following Tuesday to Norfolk And Norwich A and E.
I was asked to put on a gown, and was then examined, the doctor put a metal thing up me and opened up my cervix, and pulled out a tiny bit of blood, and then he told me I could have a pill (medical termination) or a surgical termination to speed things along.
We went for the pill option, and a pill about the size of a round paracetamol tablet was placed at the top of my vagina. That hurt. I was told I wasnt allowed out of bed for an hour but i was allowed to eat. Excellent i was starving. I had my own little room, with a sink, tv and a toilet.
4 hours later, nothing had happened but I started to walk about as I was rarther bored. Josh was with me and keeping me company. Then I was starting to get bad pains. It felt like my whole body was pushing and squeezing. Ow ow ow... wouldnt wish that apon my worst enemy.
Every time I went to the toilet I had to wizz in a bed pan so they could examin it. My bleeding was starting to get like a normal period now, and when my mum came up to see me I was sat on the toilet screaming in pain - like constipation this time, but a million times worse.
I had just eaten my dinner when I was starting to get the pains. Bit miffed because My jelly was taken away whilst i was on the loo screaming and I was thinking "at least when this is over i can eat that jelly" but I found that eating was the last thing i wanted when I had finished. I wanted cold cold cold water!
My neck was hurting, my back was hurting, my tummy was hurting and my vagina was going livid. I had to take off my gown and sit there in the nude because I was sweating so much. I was even feeling sick it hurt so much.
Then I heard and felt a squeltch, and a huge blood clot with lighter pink bits in came out. 20 minutes later another one came out. The nurse (poor woman) said she was going to give me an injection in my leg that would take away the pain, but i was in so much pain already I freaked out and was kicking and screaming that i didnt want an effing needle shoved in my leg to cause my more pain. She did it anyway as my mum and boyfriend held me down. I felt like a pranny cos it didn't hurt at all.
Then the pain went off real quick and I was told I had passed exactly what I needed. I was going to be kept under observation over night. My parents went home, but my other half refused to. He stayed the night on a fold out bed and refused to go to sleep incase something went wrong and i died... (he's not very good in hospitals)
I didn't sleep very well and I was woken up at 6am to have my blood pressure taken, and an anti sickness tablet. I did feel very sick. The doctor came round and said that everything seamed to be fine and i could be discharged with the diagnosis of having a complete miscarraige.
I'd still have to wear pads, and I would get the odd clot but it should stop after a week or so and if i had any more clots within the next 6 days it wasnt normal etc etc. the usual routine.
I got home and literally slept for hours. When I woke up i went to the toilet, and relieved my self, i must have been pushing because when I cleaned myself up, i pulled out a clot like the ones i had passed before. (dont worry i was wiping the front!)
I was rarther curious. This sounds gross, but i felt the clot. It was like fat on meat, all tough, and it was full of blood veins and lighter bits. I can only describe it as a piece of dead flesh...
Flushed it away, and had a lovely hot bath. I will be having one later. It really soothes the pain as I was only let out this morning, and I am still swollen.
I don't feel overlly emotional, perhaps because it hasnt kicked in yet, more relieved that the pain is over and It was natural, I did feel very upset just before i fell asleep in the hospital and I did cry rarther alot because It was a very distressing time.
I do have a very supportive family and I have been told to rest up for about a week as I will still be very sore and swollen, but it is the most distressing thing i have been through. and the most painful.