| This is a real personal statement written by a student for their university application. It might help you decide what to include in your own. There are lots more examples in our collection of sample personal statements. |
I am an ambitious, creative and enthusiastic individual. Since childhood I have enjoyed maths, as it is challenging and consists mostly of problem solving. Therefore, wanting to further my career in accounting. I am a sociable individual who gets on well with others. I am computer literate; therefore I am familiar with software's such as Excel and publisher, and I believe that this skill will help with my progress in accounting. I work well on my own and within a group, which makes me an ideal candidate for an accounting degree
During my years at school not only have I gained nine GCSE's at grade C's or above including a grade B in Maths, but I have also taken part in many sporting events. I have achieved three medals of which one is gold in Athletics and two silver in Basketball and Rounders. I have also accomplished a compact certificate representing my 100% punctuality and attendance and emphasising my enthusiasm in my work and education. I was also a prefect, this symbolizes that I am a reliable individual with great potential
I have had a wide range of work experience in many fields such as teaching, pharmacy and as a sales representative, which has helped me develop my communication skills. I am also enrolling on a part-time, three-month managers course with McDonalds to widen my work experience. This course will include Health and Safety, time management and dealing with costumer complaints. During my experiences I have realised that accounting is the field of work I wish to proceed in this is because of previous work placements which I have enjoyed but not to the extent that I would with accounting.
Comments on the statement:
First comment would be this is entirely too short. A department are looking to see you are interested, and if you were you wouldn't be able to stop raving about it. You would use your space.
I am an ambitious, creative and enthusiastic individual. Since childhood I have enjoyed maths, as it is challenging and consists mostly of problem solving. Therefore, wanting to further my career in accounting. This makes it seem like Maths is the only aspect of Accounting, and it is not. It doesn't show a real understanding of the subject. You need to look at what is taught on an Accounting degree and expand on your interest on that. I am a sociable individual who gets on well with others. What does this have to do with anything? If you are wanting to say you will fit in at Uni, don't write this in the first paragraph - it should be near the end and expanded on e.g. I take part in .... and understand that the need to participate in a multicultural education will enable my development and intergration into the world of work. As a social and personable applicant I know that I am prepared for the challenges a new environment and new friends will bring. This type of thing later on shows a Uni you've understood the challenges and are likely to stick around for the 3-4 years. I am computer literate; therefore I am familiar with software's such as Excel and publisher, and I believe that this skill will help with my progress in accounting. I work well on my own and within a group, which makes me an ideal candidate for an accounting degree Again - how, expand on skills etc...
During my years at school not only have I gained nine GCSE's at grade C's or above including a grade B in Maths, but I have also taken part in many sporting events. I have achieved three medals of which one is gold in Athletics and two silver in Basketball and Rounders. I have also accomplished a compact certificate representing my 100% punctuality and attendance and emphasising my enthusiasm in my work and education. I was also a prefect, this symbolizes that I am a reliable individual with great potential 'They don't need to know your GCSE's, it should be on the front of your UCAS form and this is a common mistake. Don't repeat information we are aware of. Only mention achievements and sports etc... if you can relate the skills you have obtained from them back to your degree, example - as a member of the Rounders and Basketball team I understand the importance of listening to your team and working together, this skill developed throughout my time on the teams and led to our achieving two silver medals. These teamworking skills will continue to develop at University and will help me in the group work that forms part of my course.
I have had a wide range of work experience in many fields such as teaching, pharmacy and as a sales representative, which has helped me develop my communication skills. I am also enrolling on a part-time, three-month managers course with McDonalds to widen my work experience. This course will include Health and Safety, time management and dealing with costumer complaints. During my experiences I have realised that accounting is the field of work I wish to proceed in this is because of previous work placements which I have enjoyed but not to the extent that I would with accounting. I can't express this enough - you need to talk about your skills from these work experiences and relate them back to the course or to HE - communication skills why will that help? in seminars, in group work, in working with others. Time management - organising workload, balancing University with work and a social life.
My final point here is that I can't see any interest and enthusiasm for the subject. Nothing screams out at me that this person really wants accounting. As I would be looking for this all the way through it would put me off. The people reading your statements might love that subject - they want to see their passion reflected, they need to know you want to study that subject and will last the full 3 years or more.
