Law degree personal statement example (2e) reviewer comments

This is a real personal statement written by a student for their university application. It might help you decide what to include in your own. There are lots more examples in our collection of sample personal statements. 

 

 

As a child when made to do something, "because I say so" was never a satisfactory reason. I needed to understand why. The study of Law would provide the foundations to understanding how and why the Law works. This is why I'm drawn to it. What exactly makes a Law a Law, and how can people have differing interpretations of them? The Law is the cornerstone of our society and as society changes so must it.

Law has always intrigued me, even more so after my weeks work experience at ***** County Court. This self-organised visit stimulated my passion towards the Law and furthered my understanding of Civil, Criminal and Family Law. My observations of Barristers at work was a huge inspiration allowing me a glimpse of what a Law degree could ultimately lead to. By experiencing many aspects of the Law it allowed me to see it working on both a commercial and human basis. However I did find it slightly strange that you have to pay in order to declare yourself bankrupt! For my second Law related work experience I have organised a week with the Crown Prosecution service, which I am very much looking forward to.

My visit to the Cambridge Law Conference further consolidated my enthusiasm towards the pursuit of Law as an academic subject. I gained a valuable insight into the some of the modules like Roman and Tort. The activity in the afternoon was highly enjoyable due to its interactive nature and the opportunity to negotiate with a 3rd year Law student! The conference extended my belief that a Law degree would be challenging, stimulating and satisfying.

Even with my coursework I aim to explore some of the complex ethical and legal issues that today challenge society. The relationships between social classes, although not as defined as in the past, still can cause tension. My comparison between The Kite Runner and The Remains of the Day highlights these tensions along with bringing in further complications of race. Whereas in English Literature I am analysing class, in German I hope to highlight the truth about how the Stasi and Government operated in East Germany. The Laws produced at this time clearly show how if it goes unchecked the Law can become a detriment to society.

I take an active role within school participating in drama mentoring schemes with year 12 where I aided them in the devising of their final performance piece. I've represented the school in the Rotary Public Speaking Competition in which I spoke about how farmers in England are exploited by supermarkets, sadly I did not get to the final but managed to get through to the county competition stage. Performing in school plays is a passion of mine and I have had roles in Les Miserables, Sound of Music and currently Westside Story. My greatest achievement so far was being asked to address our school's staff pyramid meeting about how students work independently and the importance of Student Voice. Out of school my recreational activities span from being involved with amateur dramatics to the Japanese martial arts of Kendo, where I have competed in international competitions and Ju Jitsu in which I have achieved my junior black belt. I also have achieved Grade V in written music and Grade III in practical piano. For the past year I have worked at our local leisure centre as a Lifeguard and thanks to a work experience gained some part time work at an estate agents.

Reviewer comment:

  • Work experience section is very strong, however it can be expanded to discuss aspects of the case in greater detail and their arguments.

  • Conference paragraph could be expanded to explore why this interested the applicant.

  • Too much A-level content.

  • Some random capitalisation of words

  • Extra-curricular section is too long, should be 20% of statement for Cambridge.

  • Start of statement is a bit cliched and longwinded. Start with an example from a book read or some work experience to make the introduction stand out.

  • Final sentence is long and could be brought back to the application to end the statement well.

 

Universities Applied to:

  • Cambridge
  • Nottingham
  • Manchester - Offer Accepted
  • LSE

Grades Achieved:

AS Levels

  • English Literature (A)
  • History (A)
  • Maths (B)

A2 Predicted Grades

  • English Literature (A)
  • History (A)
  • German (A/B)
  • General Studies (A)

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