no freinds at uni

so i am currently in first year and i dont really have any freinds. I have one freind who came to the same uni who ive been freinds with for years but i feel a distance as he is mostly now with his flatmates who typically are not the best of people.

I have bad social anxiety and low confidence and now i feel that i cant find freinds because everyone feels grouped up already. Im typically getting stressed as alot of people are buying houses for second year and i dont know what im going to do about second year accomodation as i dont want to live bymyself as it can be really expensive

Reply 1

DataVenia

Volunteer Team, Clearing and Applications Advisor

21

Original post by l-s.10932

so i am currently in first year and i dont really have any freinds. I have one freind who came to the same uni who ive been freinds with for years but i feel a distance as he is mostly now with his flatmates who typically are not the best of people.

I have bad social anxiety and low confidence and now i feel that i cant find freinds because everyone feels grouped up already. Im typically getting stressed as alot of people are buying houses for second year and i dont know what im going to do about second year accomodation as i dont want to live bymyself as it can be really expensive

Does your social anxiety prevent you joining clubs and societies?

You say your friend's flatmates are "not the best of people." What are yours like?

Do you mix with others on your course much?

Reply 2

l-s.10932

OP

5

so my freind actually has been looking at a uni house and i did talk to him after i posted this and he said that i cant have a room cause i dont really know his flatmates.

regarding my course there is alot of international students so their is a bit of a language barrier which prevents a bit.

i am in a society but its mostly just attending events i get nervous about especially as i would be by myself.

my flatmates are all girls and they have a uni home with some other people so currently, im just in a tough situation rn

Original post by l-s.10932

so i am currently in first year and i dont really have any freinds. I have one freind who came to the same uni who ive been freinds with for years but i feel a distance as he is mostly now with his flatmates who typically are not the best of people.

I have bad social anxiety and low confidence and now i feel that i cant find freinds because everyone feels grouped up already. Im typically getting stressed as alot of people are buying houses for second year and i dont know what im going to do about second year accomodation as i dont want to live bymyself as it can be really expensive

Hi there

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I understand that it can be really hard for more introverted individuals to make friends, and that social anxiety can be quite a barrier as well.

If you have not gotten any advice from your University's wellbeing and support team, I would recommend reaching out to them. (I struggled with similar issues in first year and have reached out to them on multiple occasions. I found it really helpful, I know it may seem intimidating, but they are in the best position to listen to your concerns and give you practical solutions.) There may be even support groups where you can meet people who are facing similar struggles. :smile:

Sometimes, it may just help you, knowing that you are not alone in your situation.

I understand that you would want to live with people you know for second year, but even if you do not, it is perfectly normal. :smile:

It may be a good chance to meet new people. :biggrin:

Do you perhaps have the opportunity to stay on cheaper campus accommodation?

In terms of making friends, I know that going to societies alone can be really intimidating, perhaps you could look at joining societies that are more activities based: for example: sports, arts and crafts, so you will not be required to speak constantly? (if that helps?) Personally, I still find it difficult to appear at societies on my own, instead, I find talking to classmates easier, as we normally have things in common which we can talk about. Maybe you could give this a try. :smile:

I hope this helps.
Chloe
University of Kent Student Rep

no freinds at uni

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