Tulisa sex tape "scandal" - why is sex seen as immoral?

Because you're reducing it to film...
What my comment means is that you clearly don't have a clue as to how the human mind works when it comes to sex.
I've met enough women and enough to know that rarely is sex ever truly casual. You're naive as hell if you think otherwise.

Because you're reducing it to film...
What my comment means is that you clearly don't have a clue as to how the human mind works when it comes to sex.
I've met enough women and enough to know that rarely is sex ever truly casual. You're naive as hell if you think otherwise.

HA. Mate, are you having a laugh?

Why does reducing it to film demean the act? You can't just rephrase your original point to try to prove it, debating doesn't work like that. If two people are having intimate sex and then record it because they either get kicks out of it or because they like to watch it back together what does it matter? When somebody releases it onto the net then yes, perhaps you'll have a point but she didn't do that.

No, you haven't met enough women over the age of 20. I know of MANY girls who are capable of having completely casual sex. I'm sorry but you are coming off as incredibly naive. You're essentially saying you've met all the women around and decided that women are incapable of having casual sex. No dice sorry.

HA. Mate, are you having a laugh?

Why does reducing it to film demean the act? You can't just rephrase your original point to try to prove it, debating doesn't work like that. If two people are having intimate sex and then record it because they either get kicks out of it or because they like to watch it back together what does it matter? When somebody releases it onto the net then yes, perhaps you'll have a point but she didn't do that.

No, you haven't met enough women over the age of 20. I know of MANY girls who are capable of having completely casual sex. I'm sorry but you are coming off as incredibly naive. You're essentially saying you've met all the women around and decided that women are incapable of having casual sex. No dice sorry.

In my experience... filming it kinda takes away the passion. I like sex to be intimate as in like doing it because you can't keep your hands off each other. If everything has to stop so the guy can set up a camera then that in itself is/would be a huge turn off for me and it does demean the act because it likens it to porn and the whole point of porn is that there are absolutely no emotions involved and no intimacy whatsoever.

It takes a long time to train your mind to be completely detached from sex and it's not a natural process or one without psychological mess attached. Age, experience and maturity aren't three things that go together and you can't really understand sex from a woman's point of view because it is so completely different for us.

I am capable of having casual sex and I don't necessarily feel dirty or guilty afterwards but when I get stressed out in general with other areas of my life it's another thing to think about. At the time that I have sex with them and afterwards I might feel completely fine and be excited and turned on by the fact that I'm in complete control and that I can get sex from them whenever I want from then on all the time they're single. When I get depressed and find myself looking at life in a more negative light the other angle creeps up on me and I think about how I've cheapened myself and how I'll never be anyones wife material because at the rate I'm going by the time I'm ready to marry I will have built up a bit of a reputation for being 'easy'.

I hate the term 'easy' because it infers that I'm in some way naive. If I want a relationship with a guy then I'll make him wait because I know he'll have more respect for me if I hold back a little so I'd make sure we got on well and dated exclusively for a couple of weeks or maybe a month first. I'd make sure that I said no a couple of times before I say yes lol. If I don't want a relationship with a guy and all I want him for is casual sex then it's different because there's no need for him to respect me as girlfriend material as I don't see him as boyfriend material.

Having said that and even after having casual sex with quite a few different partners I still find it a bit of a kick in the teeth if I've just had sex with a guy and he says another girl is hot or I see him kissing another girl the following weekend etc. It's never completely strings free because you have to have absolutely 0 pride (associated with 0 confidence which isn't a common trait amongst women who are comfortable with casual sex) to not find it a bit annoying when you see it and think 'am I that forgettable?'. I'm not a sensitive woman but it is a bit emotionally confusing because you know you don't want them but at the same time you don't want them preferring other women to you.

Also I think for whatever reason.. the only time I've ever really been against a cuddle after sex was when it was sex with someone I couldn't stand for the purpose of a rebound so that I could have nightmares rather than dreams about my ex. With my first boyfriend who I never cared about I was never bothered about having a cuddle and was nearly always happier to just put my clothes back on and go home straight afterwards.

So yeah women CAN have casual sex but in these current times I don't believe women can ever truly escape how we feel about it when we're a bit down and it's partly due to societal pressures and stereotypes and partly due to female psychology and the hormones released after sex that make us want to cuddle and make men want to go to sleep.

And that's as honest as you're going to get from any girl or woman on here.

Some parents want their children to be as ignorant of sex as they can be and Tulisa is seen as a role model. As such, people seem to think that this will encourage young girls to go out and behave int he same way, I guess.

It doesn't particularly make sense, and it isn't particularly fair, but that's how certain people see things. I think it's pretty decent of her to make a video about it after explaining her actions (not that I think she needed to) and all the support she got from other celebrities over it. People are always going to be up-in-arms over a sex scandal because sex is seen as private and it's a side of people we generally don't get to see

Recording it makes it about visual pleasure. Seedy.
:lmao:
You obviously don't actually know those girls. I've gotten to know quite a few girls who slept around a load and they are messed up from it.
Most girls who sleep around are desperately insecure, either as a product of, or the reason for the sleeping around.

"No dice? Are you having a laugh?"
I'm guessing if I told you to read a paper about the topic you'd probably think I was directing you to The Daily Star...

X

that is your opinion, others differ. while you feel it may extinguish the passion, other may feel turned on.

all women are not the same, there is not one rule that fits all.

Read a paper? I think you'd find it very difficult to find a legitimate paper regarding any of these issues in a respectable journal. Do try though, I will enjoy tearing it apart.

I don't know these girls? I live with at least 2. I can count more until I run out of fingers. I absolutely love that you think you can generalise the entire female population based on your limited interactions with the opposite sex. You even have the cheek to criticize my colloquial dialect on forums in face of your inherent difficulty to construct a decent sentence. Laughable.

Recording makes it about visual pleasure? What, so sex doesn't have an aspect of visual pleasure already involved in it? This is entirely disregarding the power play and other aspects of sexuality involved with filming. Bravo on being truly narrow minded.



I agree with most of your points which is why I'm suprised you agree with Cool Kid. I'll address your post properly tomorrow as I'm shattered atm and about to go to sleep but I your post doesn't necessarily correlate with what you seem to have agreed with thus far.



Pretty much. +rep

that is your opinion, others differ. while you feel it may extinguish the passion, other may feel turned on.

all women are not the same, there is not one rule that fits all.

There are things that turn me on that I don't think are intimate and that I wouldn't associate with passionate sex. I was filmed once and it was a turn on at the time but wasn't in any way intimate and I wouldn't associate it with casual sex because casual sex to me is with somebody you have a strong physical connection with and who you don't want any other strings with. A video of the two of you having sex is a string and now that I'm a bit older and wiser... I wouldn't trust anybody with that string.

No not all women are the same but we are all female and there are differences in our hormones and men's that separate us from men in the bedroom department when it comes to emotional attachment.

That isn't to say that women always get more attached than men after sex. I had sex with a close friend once and was absolutely mortified when he said the next day that he had feelings for me and I remember feeling physically sick at the thought of dating him.

Personally I don't like to admit that I'm not completely unnaffected by casual sex but for the purpose of this debate I'm being honest as I can be. I think most women who have had a variety of different partners and done a lot of things they're not proud of in the same way as I have... would probably agree with me unless of course they're in complete 100% denial which is a phase I often go through.

The only women I've ever known who have been around a bit and never shown any signs of regret or emotional conflict whatsoever have been the ones who have turned out to be completely messed up.

Read a paper? I think you'd find it very difficult to find a legitimate paper regarding any of these issues in a respectable journal. Do try though, I will enjoy tearing it apart.

I don't know these girls? I live with at least 2. I can count more until I run out of fingers. I absolutely love that you think you can generalise the entire female population based on your limited interactions with the opposite sex. You even have the cheek to criticize my colloquial dialect on forums in face of your inherent difficulty to construct a decent sentence. Laughable.

Recording makes it about visual pleasure? What, so sex doesn't have an aspect of visual pleasure already involved in it? This is entirely disregarding the power play and other aspects of sexuality involved with filming. Bravo on being truly narrow minded.



I agree with most of your points which is why I'm suprised you agree with Cool Kid. I'll address your post properly tomorrow as I'm shattered atm and about to go to sleep but I your post doesn't necessarily correlate with what you seem to have agreed with thus far.



Pretty much. +rep

again, maybe that's true for you but it's not necessarily true for others. it also does not make it "immoral".

i am not comparing women to men i am comparing women to women, and not all women are the same, different women enjoy different things and find different things intimate.

Let's see who also shares her opinion:
Pauly D.
Season 4 episode 2 or 3 he states that there is no girl that you can have string-free sex with. And he's gone through more women then anyone on this forum has, by probably a factor of 10. Save yourself some grief and learn from the experienced.

I'm also not sure how you can say that her comment about hormones is her opinion
You seem to have no idea what you are talking about but just want to think you can sleep with who you want with no emotions involved.

i do not know who pauly d is. nor am i really interested.

i did not so please learn to read.

neither do you which is why i cannot be bothered to reply to you.

none of this is relevant because it still does not explain my initial point, why does any of this mean it is immoral? tulisa had consentual sex while being filmed. none of that is immoral. it harms no one. what are your REASONS (actual explanations as sophistication and maturity have nothing to do with morality or this situation) for calling what she did immoral?

again, maybe that's true for you but it's not necessarily true for others. it also does not make it "immoral".

i am not comparing women to men i am comparing women to women, and not all women are the same, different women enjoy different things and find different things intimate.

I know exactly what I'm on about. You obviously don't, or you are in serious denial.
Do you sleep around? How many girls do you deeply know that sleep around?

It's immoral because it's devaluing sex. You are just some kid who has yet to enter the real world.

We do enjoy different things but that doesn't change the fact that certain things aren't associated with passion and certain things are. There are different types of sex and I'm not saying any type is immoral but deeply meaningful loving sex doesn't normally end in a facial for instance which clearly isn't intimate no matter how much you might get a kinky sort of kick out of it.

I never said it was immoral. It just inspires emotional conflict. Women differ in this department mainly because their experiences differ. I'm not against casual sex because of any negative feelings I've ever had because of it. I still enjoy it from time to time with 'friends'.

If I picked a random woman (not completely messed up) from the street and implanted my experiences into her head as her memories (hypothetically) then I GUARANTEE she would feel exactly as I do because it's all based around the fundamentals of female psychology that we can't break out of no matter how hard we try. We're all the same in that respect (heterosexual at least) and there's no point denying it or trying to pretend otherwise.

Not all women have casual sex at any point during their lives at all and others get messed up and come to believe that their worth is nothing more than what a horny bloke is willing to pay for them. So yeah.... women do differ but it's experiences that make the difference and those are made up from things that we couldn't control like our upbringings and then the choices we make as teenage girls and then as women.

like i said in my post to coolkid, human brains and even more specifically female brains are not the same. you cannot guarantee how one person will react given the same situation as another. the psychology is different. different people react in different ways because we are not the same.