what factors of a uni make people more likely to speak to you?
dunno how to properly explain it, i'm a quiet, not-so-friendly, unsociable guy until someone talks to me and genuinely wants nurturing friendships, i want more of these people around me but that's not really been the case in my uni (im probably moving elsewhere after my foundation yr)
This is a common question on TSR and the bottom line is that you will have to make the effort. People are not going to come to you, particularly if you send out signals that you don't want to engage. The usual advice us to join societies that interest you. Or you could seek out people a bit like yourself. As difficult as it might be to force yourself out there, this is the only way out of your situation. And if people do make an effort with you, it's essential that you respond positively in order to build a rapport. Take it one step at a time.
Original post by weirdstranger
dunno how to properly explain it, i'm a quiet, not-so-friendly, unsociable guy until someone talks to me and genuinely wants nurturing friendships, i want more of these people around me but that's not really been the case in my uni (im probably moving elsewhere after my foundation yr)
Hi,
It can be difficult to make friends at university for a lot of people, and I think the trick may be to open yourself up to new opportunities and new people as you may not be able to find those who want nurturing friendships by waiting for them to approach you. I recommend that you look into the societies at the university you are going to attend to find those with similar interests and keep in mind that a lot of people will also want to make new friends and may feel a little unsociable too. It can take some time to warm up to people and the environment so take your time and get to know those around you because you never know, you may find some really good people there. Freshers week will be a good opportunity to seek out those friendships as everyone will also be trying to settle in, you can branch out and meet those who may be out of you comfort zone but you can still create great friendships with them! Your course may also be a good place to find people as you already have your degree in common, it can all be trial and error with friendships and you may not have the same ones that you started out with at the end.
Good luck! I hope this helps
-Malek
University of Kent Rep
Original post by weirdstranger
dunno how to properly explain it, i'm a quiet, not-so-friendly, unsociable guy until someone talks to me and genuinely wants nurturing friendships, i want more of these people around me but that's not really been the case in my uni (im probably moving elsewhere after my foundation yr)
Hey!
I understand that dealing with difficult family situations can significantly impact your academic experience. While I cannot make decisions for you, I can offer some guidance to help you consider your options. Moving out and changing universities for your third year is a significant decision, and it's essential to weigh the pros and cons before making a choice. Here are a few factors to consider:
Support System: Evaluate the support available to you at your current university. Are there counseling services, mentors, or academic advisors who can help you navigate the challenges you're facing? It's worth exploring the resources offered by your institution before considering a move.
Impact on Academics: Changing universities can disrupt your academic progress. Consider whether the potential benefits of moving outweigh the potential setbacks, such as credit transfers, course differences, and adjustments to new surroundings.
Financial Considerations: Moving out and changing universities can have financial implications. Assess the costs associated with relocation, including accommodation, tuition fees, and other expenses. Ensure that you have a realistic plan in place to support yourself financially in your new environment.
Personal Well-being: Your mental and emotional well-being are crucial for academic success. Reflect on how the current situation with your family is affecting your overall happiness and ability to focus on your studies. Moving out may provide you with a healthier environment that allows you to thrive academically.
Long-term Goals: Consider your long-term goals and aspirations. Will changing universities align better with your future plans and provide you with more opportunities? Reflect on how the new university and its programs can contribute to your academic and professional growth.
Ultimately, the decision to move out and change universities is a personal one that depends on your unique circumstances. It may be helpful to speak with a trusted academic advisor, counselor, or someone experienced in handling such situations to gain further perspective. They can provide valuable guidance and support as you navigate this challenging decision.
Remember that prioritizing your well-being and academic success is essential. Seek the necessary help and resources available to you, both within your current university and externally, to ensure you make an informed choice that best suits your needs.
Best Wishes
Priya
Postgraduate Ambassador
University of Southampton
Original post by weirdstranger
dunno how to properly explain it, i'm a quiet, not-so-friendly, unsociable guy until someone talks to me and genuinely wants nurturing friendships, i want more of these people around me but that's not really been the case in my uni (im probably moving elsewhere after my foundation yr)
Hey there @weirdstranger !
As others have said, uni is a bit of give and take in the sense that, yeah people might come to you but most of the time you've got to go out and find your own way. To put yourself at the best advantage, I'd suggest joining societies in clubs because that's the hidden bonus of them (you make a lot of friends). If you struggle to just approach people then my advice is to make the best use of social media before you go. Join as many Facebook freshers groups you can and from there you should find groupchats to join. It's often a lot easier to reach out to people on social media rather than just to go up to them in person. From these Facebook groups, you'll probably find smaller groups for your specific course and accommodation so you could get chatting to people there. There will be a lot of people feeling the exact same way as you so you shouldn't worry too much. Unfortunately, a lot of those people are waiting for people to come to them so you've just got to be willing to make the first move.
If you say you're "unfriendly" then I would suggest that's probably some self-reflection and work you need to do within yourself as you can't expect uni students to reach out if you give off unfriendly vibes. You need to be able to meet them halfway as often uni students are quite passive and won't just come to you off their own merit. If they view you as unfriendly, they probably just won't approach. If you do struggle from the techniques I've already suggested, try other means such as apps like Bumble BFF. Its sole purpose is to help people make friends so there will be lots of people near you that you can reach out to on there.
Please don't put yourself down. All you can do is give it your best go and go in with no expectations about what people are going to be like.
Hope this helped!
Lucy - Digital Student Ambassador SHU
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