Anxiety experiences and support

It just feels like its my fault because i should've known that being drunk puts you in a vulnerable position, clouds your judgement, makes you less aware etc. It doesn't excuse what they did, but I feel like I'm somewhat to blame. Thats the reason why so many rape allegations never succeed in court, because girls willingly intoxicate themselves, which is very sad. I'm just glad day by day its becoming further and further into my past.

No that isn't too late, helps actually just need to try remember the times vividly when I have felt that way. It's just so weird with anxiety.. it's almost like the whole problem is getting your brain to focus, training it to focus on whatever you want, its like people with anxieties brains have a brain of its own!

I'd definitely be up for talking about it if thats okay.. don't want to upset you or anything.

Welcome to our thread!

It doesn't sound like you're self-obsessed at all, it sounds like you could have social anxiety, like lots of other people on the thread. Have you ever had any type of professional help, or spoken to a doctor about it?

Welcome again

Hi guys I'm looking for your thoughts on this:

Yesterday I posted a status on my facebook how I was annoyed about my Mum's boyfriend eating the breakfast stuff. I wasn't being overly serious just having a bit of moan (as you do) about there being no bread and that. Anyway one of my friends started commenting about how my mum was being nasty, desperate and stupid and was acting like she'd given all the food to some one night stand (my mum's been with her boyfriend for over five years). I tried to put her straight that I was just having a whinge about there being no bread and muffins and I just had a different breakfast then planned. My friend then turned on me saying I was trying to make her feel guilty (I wasn't I was just making sure she didn't get the wrong end of the stick). She then started going off at me saying I should never have posted that status if I didn't want her comments.

What do you think? Yes I was moaning about my Mum and her boyfriend but that doesn't mean I want people being horrible about her especially when they've not fully understood the situation.

Now today I feel really meh.

Hello!

no ive not been to a doctor or spoken to anyone really about it, other than my mum. Yesterday I moved to my uni accomodation, (its private, like studio type flats so i have my own kitchen/bathroom) i seem to be one of the first here and im really panicking about making friends. Ive never really had a big group of friends (although ive always wanted it) only ever had one or two close friends. Now they dont really speak to me, so im desperate to make lots of friends here. Any tips? I keep getting really nervous at the thought of talking to new people. I also realllly miss my mum and brother, we're a very close knit family its hard not seeing them. sorry for the long post

I am the same as you when it comes to friends, I always have just a small number of friends, whereas my brother always seemed to be in huge groups of people. Try ad view the positives of the kind of friends you make - they are closer, more loyal, more reliable etc, than having just a big group of acquaintances who you might never be really close to. It's just a personality thing, in my opinion, some people are more introverted and have small close groups, and others make big loose groups.

As for your housemates, that's a perfect way to meet some new people who you basically have to get along with. That's not like a threat, it's simply that, you just can't live in a house with someone and not get to know them well. As long as you're fairly friendly (ie not horrible to them - it's OK to be shy, they will be too, but just try to smile and be polite), they will get along with you perfectly well, and if you're lucky, you could make some great new friends.

I think you should try getting in touch with your uni's counsellor (most, if not all unis have one), and maybe see about having an appointment with them. They will be able to talk over your worries about making friends and such, as well as about being away from home and everything - I think it could be really beneficial to you.

x

I feel really bad parents just got back from food shopping and got me loads of stuff to cheer me up, and then asked me to go for a meal tomorrow night and I can't because I'm seeing my boyfriend but I obviously couldn't tell them that , don't know what to do Tomorrow is gonna be awful.

Thanks for the respons i will look into a uni counciller too! im staying private accomodation though not a house, and its like seperate flats! im just hoping people are up to making friends etc, its a bit lonely right now as theres not many people moved in yet. Mind me asking how you got on when you first moved away? X

x

Still haven't told them :/ and not sure i want to because now its just seeing how things go.. I don't want to tell them and put them through a load of stress for it all to be for nothing..

However I did get out the house and go sort out my bank account..

Did anyone see Jig tonight? A long ten year trip down memory lane

Well I guess you don't want to make a big deal of it too soon... But you also don't want to leave it too late. :/ Only you can decide



Yay Did it all go OK?



What's Jig? ()

ah... just don't know what I'm going to tell them tomorrow when I go see him. Be so glad when tomorrows over with!

Yeah was okay.. was gonna go to town but just went to a bank nearer to me.. got it sorted.

Oh my gosh...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b0146g5p/Jig_The_Great_Irish_DanceOff/

I did Irish dance since I was 4! I can't believe I went from the girl who travelled every weekend competing in feis and dance classes through the week for years and years and YEARS and now I'm like this! lol how time flies..

Ohh I saw that in the radio times

I never really understood the deal with Irish dancing , a few people at my school used to do it I think..

Yup, how time flies. But we mustn't like in the past, just embrace the present for all it can offer you

Yeah... none would ever understand it if you don't do it yourself.. its like a cult haha the amount of money spent on shoes and wigs and dresses and lessons and petrol to feis I don't even wanna think!

Suppose Gonna try find somewhere and see if I can start up again.

Yeah I saw in the radio times it said some parents remortgage their houses for it



Yeahh!! Do it!

Today. was. horrible.

My mum comes in the room and tells me to take my shoes off.. I say that I'm going out.. she said where.. I said to [boyfriends name] and they HIT THE ROOF. I do not kid you.. went insane.. tried to tell me I'm not going.. I just said I'm going over because he wants to talk to me.. and they said if I came back, and told them I'm going back out with him that I'm no longer welcome under their roof.

So I now have to try hide it forever .

Give them some time to cool off. But you need to speak to them about it again tomorrow. When everything is calm, not in the middle of an argument already, you need to try and reason with them. Explain as best you can and tell them how everything is different to what they think. You might even have to allude to the fact that he didn't start acting weird to you for no reason - obviously you don't need to be detailed, but even some suggestion of a regretted encounter of some kind could go some way to explaining his actions. You can't hide it forever - it's physically and mentally impossible, like I said before. They're angry now because it's raw, but give them some time to see how positively he is affecting you this time round, and they will come round, I promise.

Sorry

The sad thing is is that I know 100% that they won't unless I told them the whole story. I'm just sat here having wave after wave of panic attacks so just on here trying to take my mind off things. I'm not only worrying about that, but being left alone on Sunday all day, being left alone next week when they go away, worrying about whether I can survive uni because I am struggling so much, what I'm gonna do after uni because I dont think I could have a proper job it would have to be something from home but then which home? I couldnt ever imagine living away from my parents. And then worrying about tonight because my boyfriend was just so tired he couldbt pay ant attention towards me so now I'm thinking he doesn't care, and my best friends dad is really weird he's a Russian lecturer but he thinks he knows everything and he rang me up today saying he wants to go to a meeting with me to the uni to discuss all the problems despite the fact that it's all sorted and everything and I can barely get on a bus by myself and focus never mind having to try get on the bus with him so now I'm worrying about ringing him up in the morning to tell him I don't want to go anymore... My life is SO ****! I'm grateful for a roof over my head and all that, and my family but other than that I'm lost! I really really REALLY wish I could have an injection into my brain which would just sort everything.

And I was thinking earlier on how screwed the whole system is.. That we have to beg and plead and wait months for counselling that may or may not work.. And then pedophiles and rapists etc get SO much spent on them and time put aside an resources to get mental health help, they get it pushed upon them and then it's us that suffer when all we want to be is health normal people!!!