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Being Gay
Since todays hot topic seems to be gay issues i thought it would be nice to let everyone hear of my experiences. I grew up in your standard middle class family, both my parents are professionals, my sister is doing a high-intensity degree yadda yadda...
I am extremely comfortable with who I am, I've known i was gay for a fair while now and before then i never really had an interest in girls. My first... discoveries of the "pleasures" of the internet were all straight but after the initial "wowza" I began to find that it wasn't what I was interested in and soon turned to gay oriented sites etc. No outside influences, this is just what felt natural to me. I didn't choose the gay sites, i just found i enjoyed them more than straight sites.
My whole year at school knew I was gay but I wasn't "the gay guy", I was simply me. I was so open with it that it just became another thing in the bricks and mortar but I made sure I was never in your face about it, simply because there was no need.
I've been blessed with having very open-minded parents and coming out to my parents was as simple as "I'm going out with a guy", "That's nice, now go make me a cup of tea".
Now if I could choose to be gay or not, I would choose to be straight. Why? Simply because attitudes towards gay people today are still abhorrently negative. I accept that many religions etc see homosexuality as wrong and I would, in no way, prevent these views.
Take, for example, my closest friend; he's muslim, straight, doesn't drink, attends friday prayers when possible etc. In his own words he "doesn't understand being gay at all yeah whatever, its just you"
If more people were like this then i feel gay people wouldn't be forced to form support groups, go to exclusively gay clubs, have pride marches etc
Basically TL;DR: Do you think attitudes towards gay people are changing? Do you think the attitudes of gay people are changing? Will being gay ever be fully accepted?
I am extremely comfortable with who I am, I've known i was gay for a fair while now and before then i never really had an interest in girls. My first... discoveries of the "pleasures" of the internet were all straight but after the initial "wowza" I began to find that it wasn't what I was interested in and soon turned to gay oriented sites etc. No outside influences, this is just what felt natural to me. I didn't choose the gay sites, i just found i enjoyed them more than straight sites.
My whole year at school knew I was gay but I wasn't "the gay guy", I was simply me. I was so open with it that it just became another thing in the bricks and mortar but I made sure I was never in your face about it, simply because there was no need.
I've been blessed with having very open-minded parents and coming out to my parents was as simple as "I'm going out with a guy", "That's nice, now go make me a cup of tea".
Now if I could choose to be gay or not, I would choose to be straight. Why? Simply because attitudes towards gay people today are still abhorrently negative. I accept that many religions etc see homosexuality as wrong and I would, in no way, prevent these views.
Take, for example, my closest friend; he's muslim, straight, doesn't drink, attends friday prayers when possible etc. In his own words he "doesn't understand being gay at all yeah whatever, its just you"
If more people were like this then i feel gay people wouldn't be forced to form support groups, go to exclusively gay clubs, have pride marches etc
Basically TL;DR: Do you think attitudes towards gay people are changing? Do you think the attitudes of gay people are changing? Will being gay ever be fully accepted?
Scroll to see replies
I think that being gay will eventually be fully accepted (there are already areas in which it is - for example, your school year sounds on the whole pretty tolerant, at least compared to mine). But it's whether this happens at the expense of another minority. I see a lot of transphobic opinions within the LGB community, and a lot of anti-discrimination events/organisations that completely ignore transgender people. For example, Stonewall is an LGB organisation and not an LGBT one (completely forgetting their roots...), the International Day against Homophobia and Transphobia was abbreviated IDAHO, a lot of internet things etc talk about 'gay bullying' and totally ignore transphobic bullying...
A lot of people appear not to experience significant homophobia any more; people on TSR, on the whole, seem to have more positive experiences with those around them than I did. Of course it still exists, but it does appear to have decreased compared to the levels that were prevalent a decade or so ago.
A lot of people appear not to experience significant homophobia any more; people on TSR, on the whole, seem to have more positive experiences with those around them than I did. Of course it still exists, but it does appear to have decreased compared to the levels that were prevalent a decade or so ago.
r u gay
stop negging me ladies, it was banter xx
stop negging me ladies, it was banter xx
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by mrdreamerstar
r u gay
Yes, yes I am.
Original post by PeaceFreak
Since todays hot topic seems to be gay issues i thought it would be nice to let everyone hear of my experiences. I grew up in your standard middle class family, both my parents are professionals, my sister is doing a high-intensity degree yadda yadda...
I am extremely comfortable with who I am, I've known i was gay for a fair while now and before then i never really had an interest in girls. My first... discoveries of the "pleasures" of the internet were all straight but after the initial "wowza" I began to find that it wasn't what I was interested in and soon turned to gay oriented sites etc. No outside influences, this is just what felt natural to me. I didn't choose the gay sites, i just found i enjoyed them more than straight sites.
My whole year at school knew I was gay but I wasn't "the gay guy", I was simply me. I was so open with it that it just became another thing in the bricks and mortar but I made sure I was never in your face about it, simply because there was no need.
I've been blessed with having very open-minded parents and coming out to my parents was as simple as "I'm going out with a guy", "That's nice, now go make me a cup of tea".
Now if I could choose to be gay or not, I would choose to be straight. Why? Simply because attitudes towards gay people today are still abhorrently negative. I accept that many religions etc see homosexuality as wrong and I would, in no way, prevent these views.
Take, for example, my closest friend; he's muslim, straight, doesn't drink, attends friday prayers when possible etc. In his own words he "doesn't understand being gay at all yeah whatever, its just you"
If more people were like this then i feel gay people wouldn't be forced to form support groups, go to exclusively gay clubs, have pride marches etc
Basically TL;DR: Do you think attitudes towards gay people are changing? Do you think the attitudes of gay people are changing? Will being gay ever be fully accepted?
I am extremely comfortable with who I am, I've known i was gay for a fair while now and before then i never really had an interest in girls. My first... discoveries of the "pleasures" of the internet were all straight but after the initial "wowza" I began to find that it wasn't what I was interested in and soon turned to gay oriented sites etc. No outside influences, this is just what felt natural to me. I didn't choose the gay sites, i just found i enjoyed them more than straight sites.
My whole year at school knew I was gay but I wasn't "the gay guy", I was simply me. I was so open with it that it just became another thing in the bricks and mortar but I made sure I was never in your face about it, simply because there was no need.
I've been blessed with having very open-minded parents and coming out to my parents was as simple as "I'm going out with a guy", "That's nice, now go make me a cup of tea".
Now if I could choose to be gay or not, I would choose to be straight. Why? Simply because attitudes towards gay people today are still abhorrently negative. I accept that many religions etc see homosexuality as wrong and I would, in no way, prevent these views.
Take, for example, my closest friend; he's muslim, straight, doesn't drink, attends friday prayers when possible etc. In his own words he "doesn't understand being gay at all yeah whatever, its just you"
If more people were like this then i feel gay people wouldn't be forced to form support groups, go to exclusively gay clubs, have pride marches etc
Basically TL;DR: Do you think attitudes towards gay people are changing? Do you think the attitudes of gay people are changing? Will being gay ever be fully accepted?
I think yes it will one day be accepted completely [I'm straight by the way]. Think about how much has changed since it was completely illegal. There might always be small minorities of people against it but I think the number of people who find it acceptable hasn't stopped growing just yet.
As for 'If I could choose, I would be straight' I remember hearing a gay guy who had adopted a child with his partner say that really, he hoped the child would grow up straight so it wouldn't have to face the prejudices he had to face. It's really sad but kind of true until the prejudice is wiped out entirely.
I guess it's about those people who don't 'get' or necessarily agree with it, being able to just accept that it exists anyway, rather than try and fight it or suppress it.
It has changed, and continues to change and i'm glad for that.
My brother is 9 years old, and is already being teased about such things just because he 'is camp and acts like a gaylord'according to one kid 0.o, even though he is so young and essentially they don't know the difference and what being gay is apart from the innocent in a sense 'more mature' view that 'its just a man who loves a man' and i applaud my brother for having such views but if he does end up growing up to be gay, or even camp, i really hope he isn't one of those that get bullied because i don't know how i'd be able to not go in and shout to hell at these kids. I do hope that in the next few years these kids grow up being more accepting to something so.. well.. natural.
My brother is 9 years old, and is already being teased about such things just because he 'is camp and acts like a gaylord'according to one kid 0.o, even though he is so young and essentially they don't know the difference and what being gay is apart from the innocent in a sense 'more mature' view that 'its just a man who loves a man' and i applaud my brother for having such views but if he does end up growing up to be gay, or even camp, i really hope he isn't one of those that get bullied because i don't know how i'd be able to not go in and shout to hell at these kids. I do hope that in the next few years these kids grow up being more accepting to something so.. well.. natural.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by PeaceFreak
Basically TL;DR: Do you think attitudes towards gay people are changing? Do you think the attitudes of gay people are changing? Will being gay ever be fully accepted?
Basically TL;DR: Do you think attitudes towards gay people are changing? Do you think the attitudes of gay people are changing? Will being gay ever be fully accepted?
You've got an interesting background, a lot of my Gay friends are quite uncomfortable with coming out with it, but once they knew that we'd all be fine with them still, they now know that we don't think any less of them.
I get along really well with most people I meet. I don't for a second let factors such as one's orientation, race, background come into that.
I've got loads of Gay friends, and I think its due to that that I'm fully supportive of Gay Rights, etc.
My main criticism of people against Gay Rights is why should they be able to deny a couple's happiness. You're actions don't bother me, they are your actions. If they directly effected me and my day-to-day activities, then I may be a bit more "well hold on!" Seen as they don't, and I don't let one's orientation influence a friendship, I'm never really effected by it.
I am effected, however, by people who rip the piss out of my mates who are Gay. it infuriates me to the point of seeing red. Whatever their reasons, I detest the fact that as a civilized, Liberal society we still can't accept that people's private love-lives are just that, private. Why should who they choose to love be of any issue to the population?
I think that society in general is moving a lot faster toward complete acceptance of Homosexuality. I think its moved on leaps and bounds in recent years and I hope that it wont be long before its completely accepted when people realize, "What him and him do is not up to me, if they are happy, that's good enough for me". Similarly with Women, not to just direct this towards men, I know as many Lesbians as I do Gays.
I like to think I hold a very common standpoint on homosexuality, at least that's the case among my peers at school and as a riding group. We couldn't care less if they loved men, women or both. We get along with them because they are nice people that we enjoy the company of, not because they are Gay, Lesbian, Straight or Bisexual.
You wont ever please everyone. Someone will always take offense at you for being Gay. Its sad, but its true. I hope that the majority at least of people will accept it. Its accepted for marriage today, and no one should bat an eyelid in an interview, but I hope that the majority of society does become tolerant as I'd hate to think that a societies as advanced as Western ones we inhabit are too Conservative (in the Conservation sense, not the Political Party) of old ways to accept someone else's happiness and who they choose to be with.
Original post by alphabet
until someone proves being gay is nature over nurture, i will continue to condemn homosexuality
Condemn is a very strong word, can you give a reason for using it? Religious, upbringing, cultural?
Original post by alphabet
until someone proves being gay is nature over nurture, i will continue to condemn homosexuality
All kinds of animals have been proven to be homosexual.
Thus, nature.
Ok, I'm going to say something that will get neg repped probs, but whatever - and that last bit will somewhat be my point. People will always be and have always been teased for standing out from the crowd. Whether you have ginger hair, are rather short, fancy men or many more things. It's a fact of life, especially at younger ages. Accept it. I mean, look at this:
Are you saying that offends/bothers you...? I can think of a lot worse things than that for starters. If some guy calls you "gayboy" in the streets, so ****ing what? I'm fairly lucky to have no obvious "abnormalities" myself, and I've still had people abuse me for whatever reason. Bullying will always exist no matter how much people would like to stomp it out. If you're not gay, you'll be bullied for another reason. There are lots of horrible people in the world, don't let them dictate your life...
Original post by PeaceFreak
Take, for example, my closest friend; he's muslim, straight, doesn't drink, attends friday prayers when possible etc. In his own words he "doesn't understand being gay at all yeah whatever, its just you"
Are you saying that offends/bothers you...? I can think of a lot worse things than that for starters. If some guy calls you "gayboy" in the streets, so ****ing what? I'm fairly lucky to have no obvious "abnormalities" myself, and I've still had people abuse me for whatever reason. Bullying will always exist no matter how much people would like to stomp it out. If you're not gay, you'll be bullied for another reason. There are lots of horrible people in the world, don't let them dictate your life...
Original post by xDave-
Ok, I'm going to say something that will get neg repped probs, but whatever - and that last bit will somewhat be my point. People will always be and have always been teased for standing out from the crowd. Whether you have ginger hair, are rather short, fancy men or many more things. It's a fact of life, especially at younger ages. Accept it. I mean, look at this:
Are you saying that offends/bothers you...? I can think of a lot worse things than that for starters. If some guy calls you "gayboy" in the streets, so ****ing what? I'm fairly lucky to have no obvious "abnormalities" myself, and I've still had people abuse me for whatever reason. Bullying will always exist no matter how much people would like to stomp it out. If you're not gay, you'll be bullied for another reason. There are lots of horrible people in the world, don't let them dictate your life...
Are you saying that offends/bothers you...? I can think of a lot worse things than that for starters. If some guy calls you "gayboy" in the streets, so ****ing what? I'm fairly lucky to have no obvious "abnormalities" myself, and I've still had people abuse me for whatever reason. Bullying will always exist no matter how much people would like to stomp it out. If you're not gay, you'll be bullied for another reason. There are lots of horrible people in the world, don't let them dictate your life...
No i'm saying i have absolutely no problem with that at all, that's my point. Express your views, just don't be offensive about the way your promote or phrase them.
My school was ****, I used to have a girlfriend and got called a dyke and **** but it didn't bother me just immature idiots. Have so many gay male best friends and in my social group (which doesn't involve anyone I went to school with) is real sexually open.
I have been two colleges in london and both of them were really homophobic, like in class people want start talking about who it was disgusting and unnatural and how they didn't want stuff about gay relationships to be taught in school. One teacher stopped it and was not bigoted but a different one (who was black) obv was homophobic aswell, only me and my friend were the people standing up and arguing against all the homophobes. I guess thats cus it's London and there is alot more foreign people and black people who tend to be more religious and homophobic than whitebritish. Really shocked me especially considering how much they go on about race and **** as if it makes them special and disadvantaged. Nottingham is really open so I am glad I live here, the amount of homophobia in London is ****ed up.
I think sexuality will become more and more open and free and I will do everything I can to help it, even the terms gay/straight/bi are limited.
I have been two colleges in london and both of them were really homophobic, like in class people want start talking about who it was disgusting and unnatural and how they didn't want stuff about gay relationships to be taught in school. One teacher stopped it and was not bigoted but a different one (who was black) obv was homophobic aswell, only me and my friend were the people standing up and arguing against all the homophobes. I guess thats cus it's London and there is alot more foreign people and black people who tend to be more religious and homophobic than whitebritish. Really shocked me especially considering how much they go on about race and **** as if it makes them special and disadvantaged. Nottingham is really open so I am glad I live here, the amount of homophobia in London is ****ed up.
I think sexuality will become more and more open and free and I will do everything I can to help it, even the terms gay/straight/bi are limited.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by alphabet
until someone proves being gay is nature over nurture, i will continue to condemn homosexuality
Homosexuality occurs in all animals.
Besides what is natural to you? Mercy only occurs in humans as does art, culture, music etc does this make those unnatural?? everything occurring in nature is natural.
Nurture? Well seeing as homosexuality occurs in all cultures regardless of upbringing and tolerance levels, that argument is null. Surely if it was nurture everyone would be straight?
Besides it is not hurting anyone, it has been happening throughout human and all life's history and it is none of your business what other people do.
Original post by mrdreamerstar
r u gay
Gay.
Original post by alphabet
until someone proves being gay is nature over nurture, i will continue to condemn homosexuality
Except that it being due to nurture is no reason to be against it. I know you're likely a troll, but to the others with these viewpoints aswell; you shouldn't be fine with homosexuality just because it's natural, you should be fine with it because there is nothing wrong with it, either way.
I think that gladly homosexuality is being more accepted yes, though that's not to say that some stigma still exists, I still hear the word being used in a derogatory sense. One thing I think is important is that the association between homosexuality and campness is lost, I don't think it's especially a positive association; it does nothing but encourage the stereotyping of gay people. Positive gay influences such as Stephen Fry, Russell Tovey, Stephen K Amos, Richard Wilson (though wish he'd be more open), Scott Mills, Derren Brown, John Barrowman, et al, are of course very important.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by alphabet
until someone proves being gay is nature over nurture, i will continue to condemn homosexuality
I wonder if you had cancer, would you would turn down the life saving operations and drugs, simply because (anecdotal evidence aside) the miraculous curing of cancer doesn't exist in nature?
Original post by PeaceFreak
Since todays hot topic seems to be gay issues i thought it would be nice to let everyone hear of my experiences. I grew up in your standard middle class family, both my parents are professionals, my sister is doing a high-intensity degree yadda yadda...
I am extremely comfortable with who I am, I've known i was gay for a fair while now and before then i never really had an interest in girls. My first... discoveries of the "pleasures" of the internet were all straight but after the initial "wowza" I began to find that it wasn't what I was interested in and soon turned to gay oriented sites etc. No outside influences, this is just what felt natural to me. I didn't choose the gay sites, i just found i enjoyed them more than straight sites.
My whole year at school knew I was gay but I wasn't "the gay guy", I was simply me. I was so open with it that it just became another thing in the bricks and mortar but I made sure I was never in your face about it, simply because there was no need.
I've been blessed with having very open-minded parents and coming out to my parents was as simple as "I'm going out with a guy", "That's nice, now go make me a cup of tea".
Now if I could choose to be gay or not, I would choose to be straight. Why? Simply because attitudes towards gay people today are still abhorrently negative. I accept that many religions etc see homosexuality as wrong and I would, in no way, prevent these views.
Take, for example, my closest friend; he's muslim, straight, doesn't drink, attends friday prayers when possible etc. In his own words he "doesn't understand being gay at all yeah whatever, its just you"
If more people were like this then i feel gay people wouldn't be forced to form support groups, go to exclusively gay clubs, have pride marches etc
Basically TL;DR: Do you think attitudes towards gay people are changing? Do you think the attitudes of gay people are changing? Will being gay ever be fully accepted?
I am extremely comfortable with who I am, I've known i was gay for a fair while now and before then i never really had an interest in girls. My first... discoveries of the "pleasures" of the internet were all straight but after the initial "wowza" I began to find that it wasn't what I was interested in and soon turned to gay oriented sites etc. No outside influences, this is just what felt natural to me. I didn't choose the gay sites, i just found i enjoyed them more than straight sites.
My whole year at school knew I was gay but I wasn't "the gay guy", I was simply me. I was so open with it that it just became another thing in the bricks and mortar but I made sure I was never in your face about it, simply because there was no need.
I've been blessed with having very open-minded parents and coming out to my parents was as simple as "I'm going out with a guy", "That's nice, now go make me a cup of tea".
Now if I could choose to be gay or not, I would choose to be straight. Why? Simply because attitudes towards gay people today are still abhorrently negative. I accept that many religions etc see homosexuality as wrong and I would, in no way, prevent these views.
Take, for example, my closest friend; he's muslim, straight, doesn't drink, attends friday prayers when possible etc. In his own words he "doesn't understand being gay at all yeah whatever, its just you"
If more people were like this then i feel gay people wouldn't be forced to form support groups, go to exclusively gay clubs, have pride marches etc
Basically TL;DR: Do you think attitudes towards gay people are changing? Do you think the attitudes of gay people are changing? Will being gay ever be fully accepted?
I think they are changing especially amongst younger people, but we will always have homophobic people/views, it will be/is the minority though, same with racism I think. I like you also don't go around parading my sexuality as I don't see the point, if someone asks I would tell them, but I have had someone who didn't know I was gay when I told them get freaked out and not want to know me anymore, most people thankfully just go, oh really? Talk about it for a bit and just see it as normal in my opinion.
Original post by Craig_D
I think that gladly homosexuality is being more accepted yes, though that's not to say that some stigma still exists, I still hear the word being used in a derogatory sense. One thing I think is important is that the association between homosexuality and campness is lost, I don't think it's especially a positive association; it does nothing but encourage the stereotyping of gay people. Positive gay influences such as Stephen Fry, Russell Tovey, Stephen K Amos, Richard Wilson (though wish he'd be more open), Scott Mills, Derren Brown, John Barrowman, et al, are of course very important.
Stephen K Amos and Derren Brown are gay? I did not know that
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