Mental Health Support Society MKVII

ah, it's good your girlfriend is understand then!

hopefully they can figure out ways to help you and you feel better soon mate!

Thats grand!

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Had an informal interview for a volunteering role today, which minus one slightly uncomfortable/hilarious moment (why did you fail your module, in psych hospital, cue awkward smiles oh umm how lovely thats nice dear, so... ) went pretty well! Pending references and CRB I have a place Hoping this will give me a bit more confidence/structure.

Yeah she is truly fantastic, I'm so lucky to have her. Well they've doubled my Quetiapine, so we will see... Thanks


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Thanks guys!

I feel kind of embarrassed about sharing that but it totally made my week! I generally feel really **** about myself so when something like this happens it is really awesome.

Nothing embarrassing about that . Just shows how lucky you are to be getting attention from girls . Girls don't even take one glance at me .

Parents have been informed. Huge weight off my mind.

Honestly hun, you're not weak at all. On the contrary, you seem incredibly strong. I don't know what you've been through/are going through now (or maybe you've written it here and I've just forgotten. I've got the memory of a goldfish ) but you said it was about 2.5 years ago that the triggering event happened? That's not that long ago at all, in terms of trauma time and moving on from what happened. This is what I'm constantly being told by my care team and my uni mentor (I have complex PTSD from an abusive relationship at uni and systematic bullying. I left uni 2 years ago) and they're the ones who would know, so it must be true

Just hang on in there and know that we're here for you, whatever it is you are going through. You're not worthless or horrible or any of those things

Is there any way you could speed up the referral? If you go to your doctor and emphasise that you aren't coping they might be able to do something for you I know how you feel; it's one thing giving others advice, but applying it to yourself is an entirely different story. I don't think you're overreacting though, and I say that from a neutral and objective point of view. To challenge that thought; would you feel bad for losing your hearing after playing in an orchestra for 30 years even if others you worked with didn't lose theirs? Everyone is different

I thought I was a lot stronger than I actually am as well. I think you get so good at putting on a brave face that you believe you're really resilient, but it doesn't take much to break the façade. That doesn't make you a weak person though!

Thanks for the information Not looking too good then, seeing as I made an attempt on Saturday and my parents think I'm going to make another one. Ah well, will just have to wait and see I guess.

Parents have been informed. Huge weight off my mind.

Yeah I mean I just don't think they can help, I don't know, I don't think they can stop the shadows. I think lots of people think they talk to me like voices but it's not really, it's like a telepathic communication and they fiddle with my own thoughts and insert thoughts and take some away and they can read my mind. They are really harsh at the minute. In the past they've been nicer, when I was hypomanic/manic once they told me the world was going to end and that I was the only one that could stop it and I had to save the world. But now it's all negative, it's all about me being possessed and that. My dad laughed when I told him what I thought was the reason I was sectioned (that the shadows controlled the social worker and made her section me so I could be placed in hospital and I could be killed by nurses which they control when I sleep). He just thinks I am making it up and that I don't actually believe it but I do. I am so scared to sleep, I was trying not to take my meds but the nurses worked out I wasn't actually taking them and now every med time they watch me and check mouth and then I get in a state as they make me sleep and i don't want to. Wow, I let a lot out there...


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Have you thought about joining a gym? I feel a lot more confident in myself now that I lost weight and have been lifting weights. Clothes seem to fit better, I feel better just walking down the street, I even quite like seeing my reflection which never used to be the case.

I started with the NHS couch to 5k program which you can get free online if you're just looking to improve your fitness - don't even need to join a gym.





That's great! Did they take it ok?

Yep it was fine. Dad thought I was going to say I was pregnant though :P

Hey
I've never posted in this thread before although I must admit I have been lurking for a few weeks...
I just feel like I need to get this out, I hope it's alright for me to post this here.
I think need to book myself a doctor's appointment now I'm off college for the summer holidays because I've been feeling like absolute s*** for too long and I can't deal with it much longer. I don't always get suicidal but there are times when I feel like I can't take everything and don't imagine myself having a future.
I get myself so worked up over the smallest things (for example getting junk emails to the email account that I rarely give out) and I make myself worry to the point that I feel physically sick and my body becomes all skew whiff and I end up dashing to the toilet... sorry if tmi.
I end up having arguments with my parents at least once a week, although I have done for years and years and years. My behaviour has never really improved, however last year and earlier this year I used to go on crazy episodes and kick everything around me and scream and end up sitting in the middle of the floor crying my eyes out, but I don't any more. I just end up sulking to my room and (still) crying my eyes out whilst my parents are more than likely sat in the lounge bitching about how much of a cow I am.
My parents always tell me "you can change your behaviour" however if I could, I wouldn't still be behaving the way that I am.
I have been open with them about me feeling low in the past and I have mentioned that I've felt suicidal (although never tried anything) but they haven't made any attempt to get me help, with my behaviour or regards to how I'm feeling.
...I'm really sorry for rambling, I didn't want to post too much, I would put this under a spoiler but I'm not that sure how to on my phone.
Thank you for reading this if you have, I really appreciate it.
If I can help anyone or if anyone just wants someone to talk to, I'm always here.
So to sum that up... I think a trip to the doctors is in order, I don't know what to expect but I just feel like I need to tell someone how I'm feeling...
Thank you.


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Aye, reasonable me knows that its not so long ago, especially as I avoided all mention of it for a fair while, but unreasonable me can't help but compare myself to imagined others and see myself fall down miserably. Your memory's not so bad, I've not mentioned it! Don't really want to get into it on here, you can PM if you want to know.

Thank you for being so lovely! How are you at the moment?

( I don't want to ask this cause it looks so needy but I'm genuinly curious, how have I given you the impression I'm strong? )

I love making people feel awkward and psych hospital is a pretty good way to do that... Glad it went well, and yes it should give you some structure. I hope it goes well!

Parents have been informed. Huge weight off my mind.

One good thing about being in hospital is watching peoples reactions when you tell them!

Yeah it can be so easy to compare yourself to other people. You must try not to though. We're all individuals and what affects some doesn't affect others, etc Ah I don't want to pressure you into telling me If it would help you to PM me though, I'd be happy for you to do that, if you want someone to talk to about it and you think I may be a good person to do that with

I'm OK thanks! And I think you're strong because a) you've clearly kept going, despite everything that's happened to you, and b) you're always posting kind messages in here to sooooooooo many people, even when things are really rough your end. That's really admirable

Last year as part of a sort of confessions game I told an entire restaurant-full of my coursemates (even including the first and second years too) that I'd been in mental hospital. It was deeply hilarious, and at first most people thought I was joking.

The therapy is up at uni, so until I'm back there permanently I just have to wait. I am coping really, but like you said the mask is easily broken. I saw an analogy one time about beakers and stress levels that made pretty good sense I'm going to try and find it again. Thanks for all your kind words, and stuff, you do actually speak sense, just need to let my whole self believe it now!

Have you spoken with you crisis team yet?

Parents have been informed. Huge weight off my mind.

Parents have been informed. Huge weight off my mind.

Have you thought about joining a gym? I feel a lot more confident in myself now that I lost weight and have been lifting weights. Clothes seem to fit better, I feel better just walking down the street, I even quite like seeing my reflection which never used to be the case.

I started with the NHS couch to 5k program which you can get free online if you're just looking to improve your fitness - don't even need to join a gym.

Ah, that sucks Well if things get any worse, make sure you get help sooner rather than later I hope you find it, I'd be interested to read it! No problem

Not yet, there's been some sort of issue with my referral apparently. Dad's phoning up tomorrow to chase it up and mum is keen for me to go to A&E to be assessed. No idea when I'll actually see someone

I'll link it if I do.

Ah welcome to the crisis team and their fabulous organisation ability! Hopefully your dad will sort them out, and make sure you do go to A&E if you feel unsafe tonight.