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Mental Health Support Society MKVII
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Original post by SciFiBoy
if you want to talk feel free to PM me 
if you want to talk feel free to PM me I would but I have nothing to say, just empty.
Original post by AmiB
I would but I have nothing to say, just empty.
anything happen today to set things off? or you just start feeling down?Original post by SciFiBoy anything happen today to set things off? or you just start feeling down?
anything happen today to set things off? or you just start feeling down?Not really, was just my Aunty saying 'please don't kick the baby' when he fell off my leg which I didn't even move (he is nearly walking but holds on to everything) that set me off and then I skyped my mum and cried more and my Grandma wanted to take me on a shopping spree tomorrow but had to say no cause I can't face shopping. Forgot to take my pill until late afternoon but that probs didn't cause it. Hate this life right now.
Original post by AmiB
Not really, was just my Aunty saying 'please don't kick the baby' when he fell off my leg which I didn't even move (he is nearly walking but holds on to everything) that set me off and then I skyped my mum and cried more and my Grandma wanted to take me on a shopping spree tomorrow but had to say no cause I can't face shopping. Forgot to take my pill until late afternoon but that probs didn't cause it. Hate this life right now.
when you feel down even small things can have a huge effect on your mood, it's not your fault though, it's the depression and stuff! I forget to take my meds all the time as well so your not alone in doing that either. im sure things seem bad atm, but think about all the things that make you happy, like family or friends and stuff
I know is hard but try to focus on the positive things if you can! wish I knew the right thing to say to cheer you up! 
Going shopping is still a nightmare. I listen to my mp3 player in one ear and the person I go with always gets really pissed off with me because apparently I'm not answering her questions fast enough. How the **** do I explain it's not my fault, I'm not being intentionally awkward, it's just the way things are right now. 
today's exam went badly
I know nothing for my written exam in like 2 weeks
I'm also becoming very very VERY paranoid
I stopped my mirtazapine unintentionally like 2 wks ago because I needed to pull some all nighters to get my essays done
Now I'm scared to take them again cos i'll be bk to square 1
The propranolol did nothing for my anxiety today and im tempted to take my diazepam but I swear that will just knock me out as well
Erghh I give up.
I know nothing for my written exam in like 2 weeks
I'm also becoming very very VERY paranoid
I stopped my mirtazapine unintentionally like 2 wks ago because I needed to pull some all nighters to get my essays done
Now I'm scared to take them again cos i'll be bk to square 1
The propranolol did nothing for my anxiety today and im tempted to take my diazepam but I swear that will just knock me out as well
Erghh I give up.
Original post by SciFiBoy
sucks well, hopefully things pick up for you soon!
well, hopefully things pick up for you soon! Thanks
. And I hope things pick up for you too Original post by AmiB
Just started crying at the stupidest thing and haven't been able to stop for ages. I am so up and down at the moment grrr, hate people seeing me cry too which just makes it worse. Ahh, I am just filling up writing this now too, anything bloody sets me off! 
«»«»«»«»
Meanwhile, that room IS going to be painted tomorrow
. Just hope nothing valuable gets messed up (especially as I have to be in school). And right now I feel a bit weird for some reason .Original post by Honeyx
today's exam went badly
I know nothing for my written exam in like 2 weeks
I'm also becoming very very VERY paranoid
I stopped my mirtazapine unintentionally like 2 wks ago because I needed to pull some all nighters to get my essays done
Now I'm scared to take them again cos i'll be bk to square 1
The propranolol did nothing for my anxiety today and im tempted to take my diazepam but I swear that will just knock me out as well
Erghh I give up.
I know nothing for my written exam in like 2 weeks
I'm also becoming very very VERY paranoid
I stopped my mirtazapine unintentionally like 2 wks ago because I needed to pull some all nighters to get my essays done
Now I'm scared to take them again cos i'll be bk to square 1
The propranolol did nothing for my anxiety today and im tempted to take my diazepam but I swear that will just knock me out as well
Erghh I give up.
Don't stress out about the exam, it's done now and, even if you have done badly, worrying about it isn't going to change the result.
What do you mean by paranoid? Paranoia can be a significant problem so if it's interfering with your life I would recommend talking to the doctor about it. While you're there you can mention you stopped the mirtazapine and ask whether to start taking it again. Whilst you could probably start again on your own it would be better to get a doctor's opinion on it. The diazepam will probably help you with your anxiety but I would say to save it until you really need it because you build up tolerance to it crazy fast and it should really only be a last resort.
Original post by AntisthenesDogger
I did it. the culmination of self loathing forced me to do it. And a poem in appraise of my sleeping habits? hah. I'm depressed sleeping is about 80% of all I do right now. :P
How are you now?
How are you now?
No poem? I wrote bullettheory a charming poem which he was very pleased with, but I suppose not everyone's sufficiently cultured to appreciate my mastery...
I'm on the opposite end of the scale right now - sleeping maybe four or five hours a night. Having now tried both extremes, I have to say I don't envy either of us.
Well done on phoning the doctor though - remember it's a positive thing you've done, not just done out of fear or whatever.
Original post by headunderwater
Feel quite low today. Randomly started crying at work for no reason and had to leave early. Can't explain how I'm feeling. Nothing bad has happened - in fact things are pretty good for a change, so I don't know what's wrong.
I started crying having a conversation about Tony Blair this afternoon 
- believe me there's no fathoming the depths of our dark and twisted minds. Remember that you're allowed to feel **** for no reason. Of course it's not a good thing, and it would be great if you could control it, but the fact is that it's not your fault. You deserve to be happy, and I think you will be (especially once you've kicked that college interview's ass all the way down the street), but at the times when you're not happy despite the good stuff you've got going don't feel guilty, because there's no need to make yourself feel even worse.
Original post by Sabertooth
Wooo! Who was right? They can usually fit in emergencies. Good luck at the psychiatrist.
I've never tried zolpidem, tell me how it goes. I dunno if this will work for you, but I got pretty drunk last night and slept amazingly well. I know you said about the puking issue with alcohol so maybe take an antiemetic first and then get drunk. Drunk sleep is amazing.
Given that I don't like chocolate I'm not overly jealous, no, sorry. If they were banana well hell yeah I would want. (Although, tbh, given that I'm on a diet while you eat whole jars of nutella at once I am slightly jealous of that.
)
Ergh. I spoke to my girlfriend and she had a right go at me for even considering not getting it. Like seriously mad. So I called and had to deal with some bitchy, mean receptionist who wouldn't let me speak and acted like a ****. Also I can't get the prescription until tomorrow because they have to get the dr to sign it. That's if that **** of a receptionist actually did what I asked her, which, given NHS incompetence, I doubt. So who knows if I'll get some by the weekend. 
I've never tried zolpidem, tell me how it goes. I dunno if this will work for you, but I got pretty drunk last night and slept amazingly well. I know you said about the puking issue with alcohol so maybe take an antiemetic first and then get drunk. Drunk sleep is amazing.
Given that I don't like chocolate I'm not overly jealous, no, sorry. If they were banana well hell yeah I would want. (Although, tbh, given that I'm on a diet while you eat whole jars of nutella at once I am slightly jealous of that.
)Ergh. I spoke to my girlfriend and she had a right go at me for even considering not getting it. Like seriously mad.
So I called and had to deal with some bitchy, mean receptionist who wouldn't let me speak and acted like a ****. Also I can't get the prescription until tomorrow because they have to get the dr to sign it. That's if that **** of a receptionist actually did what I asked her, which, given NHS incompetence, I doubt. So who knows if I'll get some by the weekend. Yeah yeah, Saber's a genius, blah de blah.
( actually I know full well you're a genius - that's why I've built that altar to worship you. Could I trouble you for some samples of your hair and nail clippings?)Coulda got strawberry, coulda got banana, gonna get some vanilla. The guy kept offering me more and more choices, it was awesome. And what's more it's good for me.
How's the diet going? Bet you're doing great. 
That does it, I am definitely doping your girlfriend with diazepam.
Although I think at the rate she's going she'll need at least a gram just to relax even the slightest. I think you and her were in one of my weirdy dreams last night, can't remember any details though. But definitely no sex involved, and I don't *think* any violence. Good luck with getting the pills.Original post by Honeyx
today's exam went badly
I know nothing for my written exam in like 2 weeks
I'm also becoming very very VERY paranoid
I stopped my mirtazapine unintentionally like 2 wks ago because I needed to pull some all nighters to get my essays done
Now I'm scared to take them again cos i'll be bk to square 1
The propranolol did nothing for my anxiety today and im tempted to take my diazepam but I swear that will just knock me out as well
Erghh I give up.
I know nothing for my written exam in like 2 weeks
I'm also becoming very very VERY paranoid
I stopped my mirtazapine unintentionally like 2 wks ago because I needed to pull some all nighters to get my essays done
Now I'm scared to take them again cos i'll be bk to square 1
The propranolol did nothing for my anxiety today and im tempted to take my diazepam but I swear that will just knock me out as well
Erghh I give up.
Really sorry you're feeling so stressed and anxious about everything. Are you making sure you're getting all the support you need? I'm having a lot of problems too which I'm scared about affecting my exam I've got left, but I'm emailing my personal tutor about options tonight (was waiting on further news from my GP or I'd have done it before), and I think just doing that and also once I get a reply should help me stress out about it less, and it could help you too if you know more about what's going on. And like Saber says definitely consult with your doctor, they're here to help.Any support you can get from us, we're never far away.
Remember a lot of us are under extra stress from exams, or have gone through this kind of thing before, so turn to us for advice or sympathy whenever you like. Original post by SciFiBoy
when you feel down even small things can have a huge effect on your mood, it's not your fault though, it's the depression and stuff! I forget to take my meds all the time as well so your not alone in doing that either. im sure things seem bad atm, but think about all the things that make you happy, like family or friends and stuff I know is hard but try to focus on the positive things if you can! wish I knew the right thing to say to cheer you up!
I know is hard but try to focus on the positive things if you can! wish I knew the right thing to say to cheer you up! That's okay, I have calmed down a bit now, just want to go back to uni and back to my own room because it is so much easier than having to make an effort all the time, missing all my friends too but they want me to stick it out for a bit longer and see if it improves
Original post by avhhs
Thanks, glad your room is getting painted, what colour will it be?
Original post by AmiB
That's okay, I have calmed down a bit now, just want to go back to uni and back to my own room because it is so much easier than having to make an effort all the time, missing all my friends too but they want me to stick it out for a bit longer and see if it improves
im glad you are feeling a bit calmer now
I know what you mean, I miss Uni all the time too is good your friends are being supportive though 
Original post by AmiB
Just started crying at the stupidest thing and haven't been able to stop for ages. I am so up and down at the moment grrr, hate people seeing me cry too which just makes it worse. Ahh, I am just filling up writing this now too, anything bloody sets me off!
Oh my gosh I know this feeling.
Today I went out the house for the first time in a while and it was so good. It really is so important to try and keep doing things. I went to the gym as well which was awesome, although I felt like an idiot the whole time (mainly because I am so unfit it is unreal, on my bad leg I can only do 13kg on the leg press
).While I was there I was watching planet earth live on bbc, and part of the programme followed a family of elephants. At one point three baby elephants were crossing a river and almost drowning. It sounds totally pathetic and ridiculous, but even that almost set me off crying. Then when I went on the leg press and my leg was so weak, I literally started welling up and had to leave
But I'm happy I got some exercise finally and got out the house.Original post by Sabertooth
So I called and had to deal with some bitchy, mean receptionist who wouldn't let me speak and acted like a ****. Also I can't get the prescription until tomorrow because they have to get the dr to sign it. That's if that **** of a receptionist actually did what I asked her, which, given NHS incompetence, I doubt. So who knows if I'll get some by the weekend.
Reading that made me feel a lot better (although it sucks for you
). Seriously though. I am so fed up with rude NHS staff, especially receptionists. They always put the phone down on me when I'm not done talking to them! I actually posted a massive rant on another thread recently about my awful dealings with GP receptionists. Grrrr.Original post by superwolf
GP appointment:
- seeing psychiatrist next Wednesday (a different one again though annoyingly, will possibly be getting weekly slots)
- still no referral to CMHT for a keyworker (apparently this process would somehow magically be going smoother if I had a mobile phone [my GP contradicted himself several times when I called him out on this one])
- been prescribed zolpidem for sleeping problems and complan for lack of eating
- seeing psychiatrist next Wednesday (a different one again though annoyingly, will possibly be getting weekly slots)
- still no referral to CMHT for a keyworker (apparently this process would somehow magically be going smoother if I had a mobile phone
[my GP contradicted himself several times when I called him out on this one])- been prescribed zolpidem for sleeping problems and complan for lack of eating
Glad you went to the GP and made some progress. So you aren't going to see your old psych on the day of your exam anymore I'm guessing. That's really good. Hope this different psychiatrist is good. Hope the zolpidem works too.
Taking drugs sounds scary but I'm starting to wonder if I might end up needing them to sort myself out. I've started therapy but at the moment I feel like it's just making me worse. We will see it is early days with it all. I hope I can get myself back on track without needing to take anything.
(edited 11 years ago)
Today has actually been a good day, by recent standards.
Hey all, not really wrote on here much in ages (although not sure that will have been noticed but never mind) ... Just kind of been giving up with this human contact thing!
Moods just hit rock bottom and can't pull myself out at all, and just hating having to be social and spend time with the housemates so keep arguing with them because apparently I am constantly in a horrible mood for no apparent reason! Just feeling lower than I ever have at the moment and no one to talk to IRL because the only 2 people I have told about all this really don’t understand ... just being told you are silly every time you try and get people to understand really doesn’t help!
Sorry not really expecting anything just needed to talk really but never mine ... hope you are all good!
Moods just hit rock bottom and can't pull myself out at all, and just hating having to be social and spend time with the housemates so keep arguing with them because apparently I am constantly in a horrible mood for no apparent reason! Just feeling lower than I ever have at the moment and no one to talk to IRL because the only 2 people I have told about all this really don’t understand ... just being told you are silly every time you try and get people to understand really doesn’t help!
Sorry not really expecting anything just needed to talk really but never mine ... hope you are all good!
Original post by AmiB
Thanks, glad your room is getting painted, what colour will it be?
Thanks, glad your room is getting painted, what colour will it be?
Thanks
. It is going to be painted blue . Right now I feel really ill. Have a headache too. And my eyes are really dry
. And I absolutely have to go to school tomorrow.I think I might fall asleep any second.
Original post by Phoenix07
Hey all, not really wrote on here much in ages (although not sure that will have been noticed but never mind) ... Just kind of been giving up with this human contact thing!
Moods just hit rock bottom and can't pull myself out at all, and just hating having to be social and spend time with the housemates so keep arguing with them because apparently I am constantly in a horrible mood for no apparent reason! Just feeling lower than I ever have at the moment and no one to talk to IRL because the only 2 people I have told about all this really don’t understand ... just being told you are silly every time you try and get people to understand really doesn’t help!
Sorry not really expecting anything just needed to talk really but never mine ... hope you are all good!
Moods just hit rock bottom and can't pull myself out at all, and just hating having to be social and spend time with the housemates so keep arguing with them because apparently I am constantly in a horrible mood for no apparent reason! Just feeling lower than I ever have at the moment and no one to talk to IRL because the only 2 people I have told about all this really don’t understand ... just being told you are silly every time you try and get people to understand really doesn’t help!
Sorry not really expecting anything just needed to talk really but never mine ... hope you are all good!
eh, in my experience cutting yourself off altogether is not so good, I did that in 2008/2009 and really didn't feel good.
that sucks
I think is difficult because unless people have experienced things themselves they don't ever really understand even if they try to, but they shouldn't say you are silly though, you're not, it's not your fault that you are feeling down and stuff, so just ignore them if they say that! you don't need to apologise for posting on here
it's what the thread is for! I am okay thanks, mood is moderately stable for the time being (largely thanks to spending over an hour earlier killing zombies, which is strangely calming )Sister leaving in about 4 hours and I'm seriously just so sad right now On top of that, I dropped my phone today (which is sooo unlike me) and cracked the screen 
Oh darling Sorry things are hard atm Do you think they'd understand if you were to explain to them it isn't for no reason at all? Yeah that can't have helped 
Well you've always got us, I know it's not the same but we're better than nothing
On top of that, I dropped my phone today (which is sooo unlike me) and cracked the screen Original post by Phoenix07
Hey all, not really wrote on here much in ages (although not sure that will have been noticed but never mind) ... Just kind of been giving up with this human contact thing!
Moods just hit rock bottom and can't pull myself out at all, and just hating having to be social and spend time with the housemates so keep arguing with them because apparently I am constantly in a horrible mood for no apparent reason! Just feeling lower than I ever have at the moment and no one to talk to IRL because the only 2 people I have told about all this really don’t understand ... just being told you are silly every time you try and get people to understand really doesn’t help!
Sorry not really expecting anything just needed to talk really but never mine ... hope you are all good!
Moods just hit rock bottom and can't pull myself out at all, and just hating having to be social and spend time with the housemates so keep arguing with them because apparently I am constantly in a horrible mood for no apparent reason! Just feeling lower than I ever have at the moment and no one to talk to IRL because the only 2 people I have told about all this really don’t understand ... just being told you are silly every time you try and get people to understand really doesn’t help!
Sorry not really expecting anything just needed to talk really but never mine ... hope you are all good!
Oh darling
Sorry things are hard atm Do you think they'd understand if you were to explain to them it isn't for no reason at all? Yeah that can't have helped Well you've always got us, I know it's not the same but we're better than nothing 
Can't decide whether watching 'It's kind of a funny story' is a good idea or not. On the one hand; I have an exam in the morning and I really should be revising hard because quite frankly I know nothing. On the other; it's a fantastic film and I've just about lost the will to live with revision. On the third hand, maybe watching a film about suicidal teens is not a good idea when you feel like one despite being 22 next week... 
Original post by SciFiBoy
eh, in my experience cutting yourself off altogether is not so good, I did that in 2008/2009 and really didn't feel good.
that sucks I think is difficult because unless people have experienced things themselves they don't ever really understand even if they try to, but they shouldn't say you are silly though, you're not, it's not your fault that you are feeling down and stuff, so just ignore them if they say that!
you don't need to apologise for posting on here it's what the thread is for! I am okay thanks, mood is moderately stable for the time being (largely thanks to spending over an hour earlier killing zombies, which is strangely calming )
that sucks
I think is difficult because unless people have experienced things themselves they don't ever really understand even if they try to, but they shouldn't say you are silly though, you're not, it's not your fault that you are feeling down and stuff, so just ignore them if they say that! you don't need to apologise for posting on here
it's what the thread is for! I am okay thanks, mood is moderately stable for the time being (largely thanks to spending over an hour earlier killing zombies, which is strangely calming )Nah I know that cutting myself off isn’t a good thing done it before and makes things so much worse, but I just seem to completely hate spending time with people at the moment!
I do try and ignore the you’re just being silly comments but its really difficult because I genuinely think they don’t mean it to be hurtful but they just don’t understand how I feel at all ... and not matter how many times I try to explain it I just can’t seem to get people to understand!
I guess I just feel that others deserve to write on here more than me, so I try and stay away unless I have some helpful advice for others! Thanks for the reply though I really appreciate it ... and I am glad you are feeling more stable at the moment
( I do find BF3 does help calm me sometimes)Original post by ViceVersa
Sister leaving in about 4 hours and I'm seriously just so sad right now On top of that, I dropped my phone today (which is sooo unlike me) and cracked the screen
Oh darling Sorry things are hard atm Do you think they'd understand if you were to explain to them it isn't for no reason at all? Yeah that can't have helped Well you've always got us, I know it's not the same but we're better than nothing
On top of that, I dropped my phone today (which is sooo unlike me) and cracked the screen Oh darling
Sorry things are hard atm Do you think they'd understand if you were to explain to them it isn't for no reason at all? Yeah that can't have helped Well you've always got us, I know it's not the same but we're better than nothing Sorry you are having such a difficult time with your sister leaving and stuff
I have tried explaining to them everything time and time again but they really just don’t seem to understand at all, and its just exhausting to have the same conversation over and over! Thanks for the reply though ... I am really grateful that I do have you lot
i never have anything to say....it's so depressing that im not even interesting enough to think about anything at all :'(
