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Mental Health Support Society MKVIII
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Original post by bytail
I thought I already was? 
Hurrr we should go for a walk somewhere, I think you said you'd like to do that at some point? 
Hurrr we should go for a walk somewhere, I think you said you'd like to do that at some point? Of course.
Walk sounds good, especially if I get to play with the dog (you can join in too I suppose ). Any place/time suit you particularly?Original post by thatsthebadger93
I’m so rubbish at that game, I end up just getting unbelievably frustrated with it :P Glad things aren’t too bad for you atm and that your flat mates are nice. Starting off with a positive attitude is good and just because it didn’t last long last year that doesn’t mean it’ll be the same now 
Missing meds is not so good, have you got a repeat prescription thing set up, or do you have to get it from your doctor?
Missing meds is not so good, have you got a repeat prescription thing set up, or do you have to get it from your doctor?But it's so awesome! Trick is to just keep upping their speed - make em too fast to kill.
Yeah, things are going decent enough, so I'm just trying to enjoy that for as long as it lasts. I've got a repeat prescription for one of my two meds, but only for a week's worth (I blame my semi-competent German doctor), and I keep messing up the timing for putting in a request, going and picking it up, waiting for the pharmacy to order it in... ****ed up even further today by forgetting to pick up my prescription, leaving me with less than half a day's dose to last me til Monday or Tuesday.
I've asked so many times for help with this, and they've just refused to listen. To be honest I'm thinking of just not contacting my psychiatrist until it's properly necessary again - bad idea I know, but I'm so sick of constantly having to fight to get the things they told me I was entitled to. 
Original post by Aemiliana
I've spent the past half hour looking at old photos of me during my first freshers week...
Now I feel so down about how much weight I've gained. I just can't seem to get right. I know I can't go back to my ana days, even if I want to but I although my bingeing has calmed down (thanks to fluoxetine I believe) I still haven't kicked it. I just don't want to be fat any more. I don't want to be ill either. It's like there's no in between for me. Argh. I shouldn't have given up on the therapy should I? Why do I always do that? If I'd dealt with my food issues when I was first diagnosed, I might not even be in this position. Basically, it's my fault for not manning up four/five years ago.
Now I feel so down about how much weight I've gained. I just can't seem to get right. I know I can't go back to my ana days, even if I want to but I although my bingeing has calmed down (thanks to fluoxetine I believe) I still haven't kicked it. I just don't want to be fat any more. I don't want to be ill either. It's like there's no in between for me. Argh. I shouldn't have given up on the therapy should I? Why do I always do that? If I'd dealt with my food issues when I was first diagnosed, I might not even be in this position. Basically, it's my fault for not manning up four/five years ago.
How do you feel about exercise? If that's not been a problem for you like eating has then maybe it would be a healthier way for you to manage your weight (so long as you don't take it to extremes or anything).
Original post by Sultana
Most productive day in forever! 
I finally emailed people about mentoring, emailed my friend back, tidied my room and finished my first knitting creation that doesn't look like a chewed up mess 
aaand I wrote out my timetable and organised my files in an attempt to pretend that I study.
Now I'm about to go eat dinner with 3 real life people
I finally emailed people about mentoring, emailed my friend back, tidied my room and finished my first knitting creation that doesn't look like a chewed up mess aaand I wrote out my timetable and organised my files in an attempt to pretend that I study.Now I'm about to go eat dinner with 3 real life people
Well done.
You should post what you made in the needlework society.Have fun with your real life people.
Original post by Sabertooth
Thanks for the concern guys, and the entertaining texts.
5 hours in A&E later.....apparently "we don't think it's mastoiditis because it doesn't hurt enough. No need to worry, take some paracetamol and come back if it becomes excruciatingly painful". Oh well, that's nice to know. She told me to rate the pain out of 10, where 10 is "the most painful thing imagineable", so I said 8.5 NERP WRONG ANSWER YOU DON'T GET ****.
I found some co-dydramol in my desk so I've taken that and used a belt to affix a hot water bottle to the side of my head. Still in a lot of pain, feel really nauseous, cold and dizzy but apparently it's nothing so I'm obviously just being a total wuss.
5 hours in A&E later.....apparently "we don't think it's mastoiditis because it doesn't hurt enough. No need to worry, take some paracetamol and come back if it becomes excruciatingly painful". Oh well, that's nice to know. She told me to rate the pain out of 10, where 10 is "the most painful thing imagineable", so I said 8.5 NERP WRONG ANSWER YOU DON'T GET ****.
I found some co-dydramol in my desk so I've taken that and used a belt to affix a hot water bottle to the side of my head. Still in a lot of pain, feel really nauseous, cold and dizzy but apparently it's nothing so I'm obviously just being a total wuss.
That sounds like absolute bull****. Have they at least referred you on to a specialist or for further tests?
You're definitely not a person to exaggerate this kind of thing, so I'd just ignore them if they were implying that you weren't really in so much pain after all.
Go back again tomorrow or the next day if things are still the same and they're not doing anything more to help.Original post by Trottoir
I had a very anxiety ridden day today; it was horrible. I hadn't had enough sleep last night, so i was out of it at a 3 hour seminar at Uni. I also met a girl who was repeating her first year and she warned me that I had to do a hell of a lot of reading to do well. This made me panic slightly.
So I was meeting up with my father later,after lunch at Selfridges. I was in Selfridges and I was absolutely boiling and the lady helping me at the Mac counter was really creeping me out, and i was convinced there was something wrong with me. Then my Dad came to meet me, and he suggests going to have tea and cake downstairs in the tea shop. There was a gigantic crowded queue, and I was boiling and feeling dizzy. I just couldn't bear being in such close promixity with other people. I have a paranoida that I have bad breath, so i noticed that the guy in front of us kept turning around every so often, whenever I spoke. And this confirmed my suspicions that I msut have bad breath. I was talking with my Dad and I begged that we should go to a quieter coffee shop. So we left to another coffee shop, and I just couldn't think straight, and I left in such a miserable state that my Dad is wondering what is wrong with me.
It's like I had one anxiety leading to the next. It was like a pattern. Does anyone else get this or know how to make sense of this?!
So I was meeting up with my father later,after lunch at Selfridges. I was in Selfridges and I was absolutely boiling and the lady helping me at the Mac counter was really creeping me out, and i was convinced there was something wrong with me. Then my Dad came to meet me, and he suggests going to have tea and cake downstairs in the tea shop. There was a gigantic crowded queue, and I was boiling and feeling dizzy. I just couldn't bear being in such close promixity with other people. I have a paranoida that I have bad breath, so i noticed that the guy in front of us kept turning around every so often, whenever I spoke. And this confirmed my suspicions that I msut have bad breath. I was talking with my Dad and I begged that we should go to a quieter coffee shop. So we left to another coffee shop, and I just couldn't think straight, and I left in such a miserable state that my Dad is wondering what is wrong with me.
It's like I had one anxiety leading to the next. It was like a pattern. Does anyone else get this or know how to make sense of this?!
I don't think those feelings are too unusual - I have a horrible time in crowded places sometimes, start feeling dizzy and claustrophobic and everything. Does not make for fun times going to the supermarket. 
I think it helps a bit if you remember that you can leave at any point if you want to, and sometimes knowing that is enough to let you stay without feeling quite so uncomfortable.Have you ever asked anyone if you have bad breath? Probably you don't, but if you asked someone who's likely to be honest then you could either be less worried in future, or do something about it if you did have a bit of a problem. It's really not a major issue, so try not to worry about it too much.
Original post by bullettheory
Thank you to everyone who replied to me, I can't multi quote as I'm on my phone and its such a pain to use TSR. But thank you for all your kind words
In a bad mood, consultant never saw me today (after promising she would) and I will miss ward round on Tuesday as I have to go to DBT (else they said I may have to restart group all over again) and she ain't in until Friday after Tuesday, so a week until I will see her, so unless I can somehow discharge myself (seems a bit unlikely) I will be in for another bloody week atleast! I did SH last night and a nurse told me I was too clever to self harm, weird, I didn't know that being clever means you are immune to self harm. The shadows told me if I cut it would make the devil weaker, so I did it, and I told the nurse and she told me that it was quite clearly rubbish, which pissed me off a bit because she basically told me what I believed was rubbish. Blahhhhhhhhh
In a bad mood, consultant never saw me today (after promising she would) and I will miss ward round on Tuesday as I have to go to DBT (else they said I may have to restart group all over again) and she ain't in until Friday after Tuesday, so a week until I will see her, so unless I can somehow discharge myself (seems a bit unlikely) I will be in for another bloody week atleast! I did SH last night and a nurse told me I was too clever to self harm, weird, I didn't know that being clever means you are immune to self harm. The shadows told me if I cut it would make the devil weaker, so I did it, and I told the nurse and she told me that it was quite clearly rubbish, which pissed me off a bit because she basically told me what I believed was rubbish. Blahhhhhhhhh
That really sucks, the lack of care you get from doctors in hospital is shocking sometimes.
That nurse sounds pretty insensitive - ok so to her it might have been obvious that there was no need to self-harm, but from your perspective with all the confusing stuff going on inside your head it must have seemed completely different. Maybe next time the shadows tell you to do something like this you should consult with someone you trust, like a (better) nurse, or your girlfriend. You're not crazy, and your opinions are still valid, but remember that right now your judgement is impaired because you've got stuff messing with your mind.
It must be pretty disheartening to have ended up in hospital again, but remember that you do have some really promising things going on - you've been pretty dedicated to your DBT from the sounds of it, you've got your girlfriend and us backing you up, and you're in a safe place right now, which is the most important thing.
Superwolf - I feel okay about exercise and do normally go to the gym but I don't want to at the moment because I feel like crap. I can get obsessive about it though. Other person who quoted me (I'm lazy) - WW isn't an option as I'll get obsessive over points or whatever.
I'm fine except for when I binge.
I'm fine except for when I binge.
Original post by Aemiliana
Superwolf - I feel okay about exercise and do normally go to the gym but I don't want to at the moment because I feel like crap. I can get obsessive about it though. Other person who quoted me (I'm lazy) - WW isn't an option as I'll get obsessive over points or whatever.
I'm fine except for when I binge.
I'm fine except for when I binge.
Yeah, I feel like crap too. Stupid contagious flatmates.
Still, you'll be able to go back to doing more exercise soon. Also, are you sure you're actually that overweight? If you've had a lot of eating issues then it's quite likely that you're seeing things from a skewed point of view, and seeing problems as being bigger than they are. Also with binging - is it particularly common for you? Could be that you're worrying too much about something that doesn't actually happen enough to be causing physical problems.Not trying to suggest that you're definitely wrong about stuff by the way, just want to check you're looking at things from a balanced point of view.
Original post by Sultana
Most productive day in forever! I finally emailed people about mentoring, emailed my friend back, tidied my room and finished my first knitting creation that doesn't look like a chewed up mess aaand I wrote out my timetable and organised my files in an attempt to pretend that I study.
Now I'm about to go eat dinner with 3 real life people
I finally emailed people about mentoring, emailed my friend back, tidied my room and finished my first knitting creation that doesn't look like a chewed up mess aaand I wrote out my timetable and organised my files in an attempt to pretend that I study.Now I'm about to go eat dinner with 3 real life people
Ahhh well done!
Very happy for you.I've had an okay day today, packed quite a few things for uni.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by superwolf
Yeah, I feel like crap too. Stupid contagious flatmates. Still, you'll be able to go back to doing more exercise soon. Also, are you sure you're actually that overweight? If you've had a lot of eating issues then it's quite likely that you're seeing things from a skewed point of view, and seeing problems as being bigger than they are. Also with binging - is it particularly common for you? Could be that you're worrying too much about something that doesn't actually happen enough to be causing physical problems.
Not trying to suggest that you're definitely wrong about stuff by the way, just want to check you're looking at things from a balanced point of view.
Still, you'll be able to go back to doing more exercise soon. Also, are you sure you're actually that overweight? If you've had a lot of eating issues then it's quite likely that you're seeing things from a skewed point of view, and seeing problems as being bigger than they are. Also with binging - is it particularly common for you? Could be that you're worrying too much about something that doesn't actually happen enough to be causing physical problems.Not trying to suggest that you're definitely wrong about stuff by the way, just want to check you're looking at things from a balanced point of view.
I'm 20lbs overweight now, so yeah I definitely am.
My bingeing is better but I'm not over estimating it, there was a time when I had a healthyish relationship with food.
Original post by bullettheory
Thank you to everyone who replied to me, I can't multi quote as I'm on my phone and its such a pain to use TSR. But thank you for all your kind words
In a bad mood, consultant never saw me today (after promising she would) and I will miss ward round on Tuesday as I have to go to DBT (else they said I may have to restart group all over again) and she ain't in until Friday after Tuesday, so a week until I will see her, so unless I can somehow discharge myself (seems a bit unlikely) I will be in for another bloody week atleast! I did SH last night and a nurse told me I was too clever to self harm, weird, I didn't know that being clever means you are immune to self harm. The shadows told me if I cut it would make the devil weaker, so I did it, and I told the nurse and she told me that it was quite clearly rubbish, which pissed me off a bit because she basically told me what I believed was rubbish. Blahhhhhhhhh
In a bad mood, consultant never saw me today (after promising she would) and I will miss ward round on Tuesday as I have to go to DBT (else they said I may have to restart group all over again) and she ain't in until Friday after Tuesday, so a week until I will see her, so unless I can somehow discharge myself (seems a bit unlikely) I will be in for another bloody week atleast! I did SH last night and a nurse told me I was too clever to self harm, weird, I didn't know that being clever means you are immune to self harm. The shadows told me if I cut it would make the devil weaker, so I did it, and I told the nurse and she told me that it was quite clearly rubbish, which pissed me off a bit because she basically told me what I believed was rubbish. Blahhhhhhhhh
Hospitals seem to be a breeding group for that sort of nonsense. "You're far to young to be in here." Well, I am in here, so apparently I'm not.
I half understand what they mean but at the same time it majorly pisses me off that people presume my life is ruined or wasted because of mental illness. Sure it sucks sometimes and I have a lot of memories it isn't that healthy to dwell on, but they're all a part of who and what I am and if I want to be healthy I have to accept myself completely. Shame other people can't.
Agree with wolfie, another nurse might be more helpful if the shadows tell you that again
Original post by superwolf
But it's so awesome! Trick is to just keep upping their speed - make em too fast to kill.
Yeah, things are going decent enough, so I'm just trying to enjoy that for as long as it lasts. I've got a repeat prescription for one of my two meds, but only for a week's worth (I blame my semi-competent German doctor), and I keep messing up the timing for putting in a request, going and picking it up, waiting for the pharmacy to order it in... ****ed up even further today by forgetting to pick up my prescription, leaving me with less than half a day's dose to last me til Monday or Tuesday. I've asked so many times for help with this, and they've just refused to listen. To be honest I'm thinking of just not contacting my psychiatrist until it's properly necessary again - bad idea I know, but I'm so sick of constantly having to fight to get the things they told me I was entitled to.
But it's so awesome! Trick is to just keep upping their speed - make em too fast to kill.
Yeah, things are going decent enough, so I'm just trying to enjoy that for as long as it lasts. I've got a repeat prescription for one of my two meds, but only for a week's worth (I blame my semi-competent German doctor), and I keep messing up the timing for putting in a request, going and picking it up, waiting for the pharmacy to order it in... ****ed up even further today by forgetting to pick up my prescription, leaving me with less than half a day's dose to last me til Monday or Tuesday.
I've asked so many times for help with this, and they've just refused to listen. To be honest I'm thinking of just not contacting my psychiatrist until it's properly necessary again - bad idea I know, but I'm so sick of constantly having to fight to get the things they told me I was entitled to. That's just stupid, surely it wouldn't do that much harm to give you two weeks rather than have you consistently missing doses
I know it's a pain trying to get anything out of mental health services but it's only going to be you that ends up worse off if you don't get the things you need, I try and get other people to phone up and moan til they sort things out 
Got this email from the head of year today, I haven't actually asked her about my appointment yet so it went out to everyone. I quote:
"Can I remind all students that non-urgent appointments for dentists, opticians and doctors need to be made outside of lesson time. I am very worried to hear that a student missed a lesson because of an optician’s appointment. This is not acceptable. We need to know of all absence beforehand. It needs to be approved by me to be authorized.
Remember we are monitoring your attendance."
I really don't want to tell her now...
"Can I remind all students that non-urgent appointments for dentists, opticians and doctors need to be made outside of lesson time. I am very worried to hear that a student missed a lesson because of an optician’s appointment. This is not acceptable. We need to know of all absence beforehand. It needs to be approved by me to be authorized.
Remember we are monitoring your attendance."
I really don't want to tell her now...
Original post by bullettheory
Oh man, that sounds horrible! Sorry A&E wasn't any use, and I hope you feel better soon. And you ain't being a wuss, if I was feeling like that (especially with feeling sick) I would be making the biggest fuss in the world!
Sorry A&E wasn't any use, and I hope you feel better soon. And you ain't being a wuss, if I was feeling like that (especially with feeling sick) I would be making the biggest fuss in the world!Thanks bullettheory. It does really really suck.
I'm on my 3rd hot water bottle - it helps reduce the pain a little but I'm still freezing and pretty nauseous (sorry if tmi 
). Girlfriend says I look like Rambo with it tied around my head, unsure whether that's a compliment or not It really sucks about how much longer you're in hospital for without seeing the consultant, I have no idea how they get away with that it's appalling! At least you've got internet and you know the ward so hopefully the time will pass quickly. Really hope you get out and feel better soon man
Original post by superwolf
That sounds like absolute bull****. Have they at least referred you on to a specialist or for further tests?
You're definitely not a person to exaggerate this kind of thing, so I'd just ignore them if they were implying that you weren't really in so much pain after all. Go back again tomorrow or the next day if things are still the same and they're not doing anything more to help.
That sounds like absolute bull****. Have they at least referred you on to a specialist or for further tests?
You're definitely not a person to exaggerate this kind of thing, so I'd just ignore them if they were implying that you weren't really in so much pain after all.
Go back again tomorrow or the next day if things are still the same and they're not doing anything more to help.Nope, no specialist, no further tests. I didn't even see a full doctor at the hospital, I saw a junior ENT doctor who conferred with the consultant who didn't see me.
When they said I'm not in enough pain, I'm just like
SRSLY?????The painkillers did nothing noticeable but my aunt brought round some "medicinal vodka" (
) when she visited so I'm medicating myself with that.
ARGH! Dissertation results are out but they're in the office. Which is closed over the weekend 
Plus this whole runaway schoolgirl case is dragging me down a bit
Hugs for everyone
Plus this whole runaway schoolgirl case is dragging me down a bit
Hugs for everyone
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
ARGH! Dissertation results are out but they're in the office. Which is closed over the weekend
Plus this whole runaway schoolgirl case is dragging me down a bit
Hugs for everyone
Plus this whole runaway schoolgirl case is dragging me down a bit
Hugs for everyone
I'm happy she has been found alive and well Posted from TSR Mobile
Again managed to get late for my lesson today
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Psychiatrist appointment tomorrow. Any wise ideas on how to get across how **** I'm feeling without coming across as a danger to myself? 
When I get into my appointments I always just want to pretend I'm doing better than I am but I know I can't do that.
When I get into my appointments I always just want to pretend I'm doing better than I am but I know I can't do that.
I have an awful migraine plus I am fairly sure someone I was talking to is ignoring me
plus I am fairly sure someone I was talking to is ignoring me Original post by superwolf
Have you talked with your teachers about where you're going wrong? Might be really easy to fix once you know what it is.
Awesome! Best school trip I ever had was my English class weekend up at Lagganlea - basically one great massive adventure playground. Went down the dry ski slope on a baking tray and nearly broke my ankle.
Have you talked with your teachers about where you're going wrong? Might be really easy to fix once you know what it is.Awesome! Best school trip I ever had was my English class weekend up at Lagganlea - basically one great massive adventure playground. Went down the dry ski slope on a baking tray and nearly broke my ankle.
Yeah, it doesn't seem to help though. I can't explain what I mean, I understand the work but can never remember what to write down in questions.
That sounds amazing
I'm feeling really low at the moment. I don't want to go to bed because I don't want to cry (whereas if I stay busy I won't) but I'm really tired.
Original post by avhhs
Oh don't get me wrong, I'm glad of that too. It's just a bit close to home, that's all
Original post by asdfgah
Psychiatrist appointment tomorrow. Any wise ideas on how to get across how **** I'm feeling without coming across as a danger to myself? When I get into my appointments I always just want to pretend I'm doing better than I am but I know I can't do that.
When I get into my appointments I always just want to pretend I'm doing better than I am but I know I can't do that.I'd make notes that you take in with you, so that everything gets across and in a calm, measured manner
Original post by SciFiRory
I have an awful migraine plus I am fairly sure someone I was talking to is ignoring me
plus I am fairly sure someone I was talking to is ignoring me No one ignores our Rory!
Original post by Aemiliana
I'm feeling really low at the moment. I don't want to go to bed because I don't want to cry (whereas if I stay busy I won't) but I'm really tired.
Original post by Aemiliana
I'm feeling really low at the moment. I don't want to go to bed because I don't want to cry (whereas if I stay busy I won't) but I'm really tired.
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
I'd make notes that you take in with you, so that everything gets across and in a calm, measured manner
Going to write some stuff down and try as hard as I can to be honest. I know he communicates with my CBT therapist anyway, so possibly he'll already know something about how it's going. Thanks for the advice! Think I just need reassurance that it'll be okay.
I think I've started using bingeing as a form of self harm. I only forgot to take my meds for a week but I really hope that's why I feel like this. I'm worried its the pressure of being back at uni... But then again, my doctor liked my evil 50 hour weeks at my old job because it meant I had no time to think, so maybe it's just that I'm thinking again now and my recovery over the summer was more just that I had no time to feel low.
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
Oh don't get me wrong, I'm glad of that too. It's just a bit close to home, that's all
