how is harassing a girl for number sexist?
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Original post by PQ
Really - you feel sorry for someone who can't take no for an answer
I feel sorry for someone who was met with completely unnecessary hostility, yes.
Just read the comments on it... these feminists really don't have a sense of humour do they? No wonder they're so miserable!
Harassment maybe but I dont think its sexist?
Original post by MJ1012
I feel sorry for someone who was met with completely unnecessary hostility, yes.
yep - someone being met with hostility is a bummer but noone is obliged to respond positively to an approach - especially an approach that starts with "darlin I don't want to harrass you..." - that's really not a great opening line to anyone.
Responding to that hostility by getting aggressive = out of order.
This assumption that women should always welcome advances and approaches and be polite is such bull**** - approaching someone who isn't interested is not polite, expecting a polite response is not polite, getting aggressive if you don't get your way is not polite.
He is not respecting her right to say no and not give out her number. The poster is making the (not unfounded) assumption that this persistence is partially due to a feeling that her rights as a woman are less important than his.
A lot of people on the internet need to learn the difference between sexism, and behaviour that is creepy and perhaps sexually oriented. Simply approaching a woman in a socially unacceptable way isn't sexism unless it involves gender-based discrimination or inferences that women are inferior in whatever way (or just as equally the reverse). Beeping your car horn at a girl crossing the road might be unlikely to win you many friends, but it's a big stretch to call it sexist.
Sit on my face" ... "Why, is your nose bigger than your dick?"
Sorry but isn't that a little hypocritical of them? They're allowed to make fun of male body parts (which many are self concious about) but criticise a woman's weight, breast etc and you're Hitler's evil twin!
Sorry but isn't that a little hypocritical of them? They're allowed to make fun of male body parts (which many are self concious about) but criticise a woman's weight, breast etc and you're Hitler's evil twin!
Original post by PQ
yep - someone being met with hostility is a bummer but noone is obliged to respond positively to an approach - especially an approach that starts with "darlin I don't want to harrass you..." - that's really not a great opening line to anyone.
Responding to that hostility by getting aggressive = out of order.
This assumption that women should always welcome advances and approaches and be polite is such bull**** - approaching someone who isn't interested is not polite, expecting a polite response is not polite, getting aggressive if you don't get your way is not polite.
Responding to that hostility by getting aggressive = out of order.
This assumption that women should always welcome advances and approaches and be polite is such bull**** - approaching someone who isn't interested is not polite, expecting a polite response is not polite, getting aggressive if you don't get your way is not polite.
She wasn't polite to him, her rudeness was unnecessary and I shall judge her for it. You seem to think there should be a rule where you aren't allowed to ever speak to anyone and if you do you can expect someone to very hostile towards you. I think that's ridiculous. I personally think everyone is owed to be polite to everyone, I've been brought up to say please and thank yous, even if it's something as simple as being given change in a shop.
He might have just said "I don't mean to harass you but you are looking very beautiful today and just thought I'd let you know." and walked off, there is exactly nothing wrong with saying that and if someone has a problem being complimented then they have issues IMO. People have a right to politely speak to someone without expecting rudeness and I think society should be that way.
Original post by alexmagpie
He is not respecting her right to say no and not give out her number. The poster is making the (not unfounded) assumption that this persistence is partially due to a feeling that her rights as a woman are less important than his.
That is a pretty unfounded assumption, it could only be validated if this guy was bi sexual and treated rejection from guys different from rejection from girls. Judging from what has happened, there is no proof of sexism, just proof of a guy who can't comprehend not getting what he wants.
Original post by MJ1012
She wasn't polite to him, her rudeness was unnecessary and I shall judge her for it. You seem to think there should be a rule where you aren't allowed to ever speak to anyone and if you do you can expect someone to very hostile towards you. I think that's ridiculous. I personally think everyone is owed to be polite to everyone, I've been brought up to say please and thank yous, even if it's something as simple as being given change in a shop.
He might have just said "I don't mean to harass you but you are looking very beautiful today and just thought I'd let you know." and walked off, there is exactly nothing wrong with saying that and if someone has a problem being complimented then they have issues IMO. People have a right to politely speak to someone without expecting rudeness and I think society should be that way.
He might have just said "I don't mean to harass you but you are looking very beautiful today and just thought I'd let you know." and walked off, there is exactly nothing wrong with saying that and if someone has a problem being complimented then they have issues IMO. People have a right to politely speak to someone without expecting rudeness and I think society should be that way.
Point is (and as explained in the article I linked to above) there are ways to approach other people (especially women). We live in a society that is constantly telling women to protect themselves from rape...that message gets internalised.
If you want to approach people then you take some time to read body language first - eye contact, whether someone is busy or not etc etc. It isn't rocket science.
If you approach someone who is giving off "leave me alone vibes" - even to say something "nice" then you aren't offering a compliment. You're ignoring that person's messages and deciding that your own opinion or message is more important.
That isn't polite and it isn't complimentary. It is rude and unwelcome (you can TELL when someone will welcome an approach - they'll look at you, they'll smile back etc etc).
If you approach someone in that situation then don't act butthurt if you get a impolite response.
Original post by KingStannis
Someone bleeped at me from a car as I was striding down the road. I yelled "I AM A WOMAN NOT A TRAFFIC JAM".
^ What really depresses me is that she's a Pink FLoyd fan.
^ What really depresses me is that she's a Pink FLoyd fan.
Maybe she wasn't driving properly? This isn't meant as a "women can't drive" comment, but more as a general thing. I've beeped at people on the road, a few times, and most of the time they're men. We need context
I also "beeped" a colleage goodbye today, because I had half a day. Is that sexist? Not really
Or on the flip side, maybe she's a good driver, and the other person is beeping her, because she happens to get in the way of them being reckless?
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by GnomeMage
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2013/dec/06/best-comebacks-sexist-comments-everyday-sexism?CMP=fb_gu
"@EverydaySexism a guy kept harrassing me for my phone number so I gave him the number of another sexist, figured they'd have a lot in common"
annoying, persistent, u name it. but sexist?
"@EverydaySexism a guy kept harrassing me for my phone number so I gave him the number of another sexist, figured they'd have a lot in common"
annoying, persistent, u name it. but sexist?
The whole point of everydaysexism is to gather people's experiences as a result of a sexist society. So yes the experiences of the people are a result of sexism, if you follow the twitter account experiences of men are retweeted too.
As someone said earlier, if the guy was genuinely harassing her then he believed his desire for her phone number was superior to her free will; that is sexist.
Desperate fool
Original post by GnomeMage
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2013/dec/06/best-comebacks-sexist-comments-everyday-sexism?CMP=fb_gu
"@EverydaySexism a guy kept harrassing me for my phone number so I gave him the number of another sexist, figured they'd have a lot in common"
annoying, persistent, u name it. but sexist?
"@EverydaySexism a guy kept harrassing me for my phone number so I gave him the number of another sexist, figured they'd have a lot in common"
annoying, persistent, u name it. but sexist?
I bet that girl wore on make up and thus walked around under false pretences of beauty. You should never harass a girl for her number, no girl is worth that time or effort. ALWAYS ASK ONCE! If you're bound to get her number, you'd get it. If you keep asking the only thing that's going to happen is her ego will inflate and you'll see the ugly side of her.
Original post by Jordooooom
Sit on my face" ... "Why, is your nose bigger than your dick?"
Sorry but isn't that a little hypocritical of them? They're allowed to make fun of male body parts (which many are self concious about) but criticise a woman's weight, breast etc and you're Hitler's evil twin!
Sorry but isn't that a little hypocritical of them? They're allowed to make fun of male body parts (which many are self concious about) but criticise a woman's weight, breast etc and you're Hitler's evil twin!
haha - criticize women all you want, don't be afraid. Don't put women up in a pedestal.
Original post by Profesh
The above scenario does not constitute sexism unless you accept either of the following propositions: that aggressive, unsolicited and predatory sexual advances cannot be made by heterosexual women and male homosexuals in respect of other men, or: that male heterosexuality is somehow inherently 'sexist' (i.e. in a manner not simultaneously applicable to female heterosexuality or, indeed, to the very notion of 'sexuality' as a whole).
The latter example is a patent absurdity; whilst the former is but one more fatuous, stereotypical, overweening condemnation of supposedly 'straight male' behaviour which conversely discredits and demeans women even as it professes to denigrate men – ironically the only legitimate instance of bona fide 'sexism' (qua misandry) yet presented herein, and rightly an affront to feminists (qua egalitarians) of all chromosomes.
In summation: read more.
The latter example is a patent absurdity; whilst the former is but one more fatuous, stereotypical, overweening condemnation of supposedly 'straight male' behaviour which conversely discredits and demeans women even as it professes to denigrate men – ironically the only legitimate instance of bona fide 'sexism' (qua misandry) yet presented herein, and rightly an affront to feminists (qua egalitarians) of all chromosomes.
In summation: read more.
Did you swallow a law book as well as the Britannica?
I hope you weren't being serious by posting that article.
It is one of the stupidest, most condescending pieces of misandrist **** that I've ever read. Victim-Blaming isn't right, but neither is talking down to all men as potential rapists.
Everyone has the potential to be a criminal, but society functions on the fact that only a small percentage of society actually is.
Maybe these men have false expectations from society, maybe they can't take the hint, maybe they are jerks, and maybe they are rapists. But you can't treat everyone as a rapist, and you certainly can't say this:
Article
If you expect me to trust you—to accept you at face value as a nice sort of guy—you are not only failing to respect my reasonable caution, you are being cavalier about my personal safety.
If you expect me to trust you—to accept you at face value as a nice sort of guy—you are not only failing to respect my reasonable caution, you are being cavalier about my personal safety.
Harassing women for their phone numbers is annoying, might be scary, and is definitely a crime. But it does not indicate that the person is either sexist or a rapist.
Everytime I see that article posted as a response I just get angry because of how stupid it is.
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