taken "pause" out of uni
Hi,
So last year, around April time, I was taken out of uni for a year - studying medicine - and had to go into hospital for 6&a half months; I was discharged about 6 weeks ago. This was my 3rd admission for anorexia - I had previous admissions before I went to uni. Though since I was discharged, I've lost weight and am now below the weight I was, that the uni have most recently got me weighing (if this makes sense). Between being last weighed at uni, and being put into hospital, my weight obviously declined, but I'm pretty concerned that it's below their last reading.
I'm mostly concerned because I have to do a medical to get back into uni - obviously being weighed, having doctors (hospital psychiatrist) reports etc... And I'm, really worried the uni aren't going to let me back onto the course because of this. It has to be done quite soon as well.
That aside, for about a month, I've been doubting myself - is this really what I want to do? Medicine? Will I be able to cope? Will I pass exams? Will I enjoy uni lifestyle again?
Also, I've been feeling lower and lower - I've been on antidepressants on and off for 4 years, but now, even a the highest dose I've ever been on, I feel worse than ever, to the point where my thoughts are so horrendous and intrusive, I've even been thinking of ending it.
I see my eating disorder nurse once a week who weighs me and is aware that my weight is dropping, and my therapist once a week.
I'm so worried that firstly I won't get back onto the course, and secondly, I'll get back onto the course then hate it and/or fail my exams.
I'm not really sure if I'm asking for advice or an answer or what, maybe just opinions and any experiences of people taking a year out of uni for mental health/eating disorder specifically.
So last year, around April time, I was taken out of uni for a year - studying medicine - and had to go into hospital for 6&a half months; I was discharged about 6 weeks ago. This was my 3rd admission for anorexia - I had previous admissions before I went to uni. Though since I was discharged, I've lost weight and am now below the weight I was, that the uni have most recently got me weighing (if this makes sense). Between being last weighed at uni, and being put into hospital, my weight obviously declined, but I'm pretty concerned that it's below their last reading.
I'm mostly concerned because I have to do a medical to get back into uni - obviously being weighed, having doctors (hospital psychiatrist) reports etc... And I'm, really worried the uni aren't going to let me back onto the course because of this. It has to be done quite soon as well.
That aside, for about a month, I've been doubting myself - is this really what I want to do? Medicine? Will I be able to cope? Will I pass exams? Will I enjoy uni lifestyle again?
Also, I've been feeling lower and lower - I've been on antidepressants on and off for 4 years, but now, even a the highest dose I've ever been on, I feel worse than ever, to the point where my thoughts are so horrendous and intrusive, I've even been thinking of ending it.
I see my eating disorder nurse once a week who weighs me and is aware that my weight is dropping, and my therapist once a week.
I'm so worried that firstly I won't get back onto the course, and secondly, I'll get back onto the course then hate it and/or fail my exams.
I'm not really sure if I'm asking for advice or an answer or what, maybe just opinions and any experiences of people taking a year out of uni for mental health/eating disorder specifically.
bump
