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Cognitive behavioural therapy- values and depression

hi,

ive been given a form by my cbt therapist which asks me to identify my values and answer questions like "what kind of partner do you want to be?".
I doubt there'd be many people on here with experience of this but if there is, did you find it easy to identify your values? I think it's a tough thing to ask of someone who is depressed like I am.
I'd also like to know if you found CBT helpful. When I asked my psychologist if she thought it was going to help me she just replied "It works for some people" and "therapy isn't for everybody" which is not really the answer i was looking for. What i wanted to know was whether she thought the therapy would help ME, because if she doesn't, then what's the point of me going to these sessions?
I want to start learning some coping strategies because i have severe health anxiety and I go to hospital every day (literally, have been doing so now for months) which is taking over my life and is spending a lot of the NHS's time and money which just makes me feel guilty. I dont know if anyone else has experienced this but it would be reassuring to know if there is.

anyway, sorry if this sounds incoherent. i'm meant to give her back the form tomorrow and i haven't written anything on it. I feel like a teenage student who hasn't done her homework.

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Reply 1
I don't know how many sessions of CBT you had already. It's quite difficult to tell from the outset if it's going to work for a particular patient or not.

There are no right or wrong answers for those questions. Just put down what comes to mind. Even if it is the fact that you struggle to identify what kind of partner you would like to be because of your depressed mood.
Reply 2
Original post by belis
I don't know how many sessions of CBT you had already. It's quite difficult to tell from the outset if it's going to work for a particular patient or not.

There are no right or wrong answers for those questions. Just put down what comes to mind. Even if it is the fact that you struggle to identify what kind of partner you would like to be because of your depressed mood.


ive had two sessions and tomorrow is my third.
The thing is i know i cant be in a relationship because of my state of mind, assuming anyone would have me anyway which is unlikely, so what am i supposed to answer to that? Theres also stuff about work and your career, i mean i have no ambitions atm, im just trying to live day by day which is hard enough.
Reply 3
Imagine (if you can) how would it be if you were better. What sort of partner would you like to be if you were well and in a happy relationship. If you could have any job what would you like to do?

If you can't plan for the future because you live day by day your therapist needs to know that. If you find homework that is given to you to difficult or unhelpful than you need to discuss it with them. It's their job to adjusts things accordingly.
Reply 4
Original post by belis
Imagine (if you can) how would it be if you were better. What sort of partner would you like to be if you were well and in a happy relationship. If you could have any job what would you like to do?

If you can't plan for the future because you live day by day your therapist needs to know that. If you find homework that is given to you to difficult or unhelpful than you need to discuss it with them. It's their job to adjusts things accordingly.


I can't remember what it was like when i was not "mentally ill", assuming I ever wasn't. In any case I don't think I can ever be normal. Every possibility of a relationship or a career is ruled out for me.
I just want to stop being a burden on the health services and the people who know me- i suppose that would just mean taking my own life but i don't have the strength to do that..
Reply 5
The thing i've been given is called Tobias Lundgreen's Bull's Eye Worksheet, if anyone is familiar with that.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
hi,

ive been given a form by my cbt therapist which asks me to identify my values and answer questions like "what kind of partner do you want to be?".
I doubt there'd be many people on here with experience of this but if there is, did you find it easy to identify your values? I think it's a tough thing to ask of someone who is depressed like I am.
I'd also like to know if you found CBT helpful. When I asked my psychologist if she thought it was going to help me she just replied "It works for some people" and "therapy isn't for everybody" which is not really the answer i was looking for. What i wanted to know was whether she thought the therapy would help ME, because if she doesn't, then what's the point of me going to these sessions?
I want to start learning some coping strategies because i have severe health anxiety and I go to hospital every day (literally, have been doing so now for months) which is taking over my life and is spending a lot of the NHS's time and money which just makes me feel guilty. I dont know if anyone else has experienced this but it would be reassuring to know if there is.

anyway, sorry if this sounds incoherent. i'm meant to give her back the form tomorrow and i haven't written anything on it. I feel like a teenage student who hasn't done her homework.


I had CBT and it worked for me, it all depends on if you're ready to try to help yourself get better. I was desperate to get better because my illness was seriously impacting my life. Now I'm better, not 100% but definitely about 80%. We'll probably never fully shake our demons, but if CBT can enhance your quality of life it is well worth doing.
Reply 7
Original post by Pip1309
I had CBT and it worked for me, it all depends on if you're ready to try to help yourself get better. I was desperate to get better because my illness was seriously impacting my life. Now I'm better, not 100% but definitely about 80%. We'll probably never fully shake our demons, but if CBT can enhance your quality of life it is well worth doing.

were you given a form about values? i dont know if they give it to everyone.
did it involve just talking? i think I may need something closer to hypnotherapy.
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
were you given a form about values? i dont know if they give it to everyone.
did it involve just talking? i think I may need something closer to hypnotherapy.

I always got the same questionnaire every single week about how I was feeling, not values stuff.
CBT is about singling out your 'faulty thoughts' and taking them apart. You'll learn techniques to combat stressful situations and you'll learn how to spot the faulty thoughts occurring and deal with them quickly.
Often the first few sessions are all about diagnosing you and then the next ones are working to help you through your illness.
Stick it out, you can do it :smile:
Reply 9
Original post by Pip1309
I always got the same questionnaire every single week about how I was feeling, not values stuff.
CBT is about singling out your 'faulty thoughts' and taking them apart. You'll learn techniques to combat stressful situations and you'll learn how to spot the faulty thoughts occurring and deal with them quickly.
Often the first few sessions are all about diagnosing you and then the next ones are working to help you through your illness.
Stick it out, you can do it :smile:

I got that questionnaire too. Isn't it a bit annoying/pointless to make you do it every week? After all, your answers depend on what day and what hour of the day you fill it out.
Ive accepted therapy because it's my last and only option, one I've been waiting for for a year, but to be honest I'm not sure it'll work. I'm praying that it will but not even the psychologist seems to think that I can improve.
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
were you given a form about values? i dont know if they give it to everyone.
did it involve just talking? i think I may need something closer to hypnotherapy.


CBT is a very active form of therapy. There is a bit of talking involved but it's more about doing things in order to change how you think and behave. The sessions are important to give you guidance but most of the improvement comes from engaging with homework and set tasks in between sessions.

The best predictors of success are patient's level of engagement and relationship they have with the therapist. CBT is an evidence best treatment for health anxiety and there is a good chance that it will help you.

You obviously take your homework seriously because you are here trying to get some advice on how to best complete your worksheet. That's a good sign. :smile: It's very important that you are open and honest with your therapies about the reasons for struggling with completing homework.

I can't remember what it was like when i was not "mentally ill", assuming I ever wasn't. In any case I don't think I can ever be normal. Every possibility of a relationship or a career is ruled out for me.
I just want to stop being a burden on the health services and the people who know me- i suppose that would just mean taking my own life but i don't have the strength to do that..


You are very entrenched in your negative believes at the moment. That's not at all uncommon considering that you have been struggling with those issues for a long time. CBT can help to change those believes. You can use your homework exercise to share them with your therapist.

Most importantly, if you haven't already, I would strongly encourage you to discuss your thoughts about taking your life with your therapist and your GP. It's important that they know that you feel that way.

And don't worry about being a burden on the NHS. The system can cope. The more important thing at the moment is the impact health anxiety has on your life.

Best of luck for your session today. :smile:
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
hi,

ive been given a form by my cbt therapist which asks me to identify my values and answer questions like "what kind of partner do you want to be?".
I doubt there'd be many people on here with experience of this but if there is, did you find it easy to identify your values? I think it's a tough thing to ask of someone who is depressed like I am.
I'd also like to know if you found CBT helpful. When I asked my psychologist if she thought it was going to help me she just replied "It works for some people" and "therapy isn't for everybody" which is not really the answer i was looking for. What i wanted to know was whether she thought the therapy would help ME, because if she doesn't, then what's the point of me going to these sessions?
I want to start learning some coping strategies because i have severe health anxiety and I go to hospital every day (literally, have been doing so now for months) which is taking over my life and is spending a lot of the NHS's time and money which just makes me feel guilty. I dont know if anyone else has experienced this but it would be reassuring to know if there is.

anyway, sorry if this sounds incoherent. i'm meant to give her back the form tomorrow and i haven't written anything on it. I feel like a teenage student who hasn't done her homework.


I have general anxiety and I found CBT really helpful. I didn't really have a problem identifying my values though as they pretty much cause my anxiety.
Reply 12
Original post by belis
CBT is a very active form of therapy. There is a bit of talking involved but it's more about doing things in order to change how you think and behave. The sessions are important to give you guidance but most of the improvement comes from engaging with homework and set tasks in between sessions.

The best predictors of success are patient's level of engagement and relationship they have with the therapist. CBT is an evidence best treatment for health anxiety and there is a good chance that it will help you.

You obviously take your homework seriously because you are here trying to get some advice on how to best complete your worksheet. That's a good sign. :smile: It's very important that you are open and honest with your therapies about the reasons for struggling with completing homework.



You are very entrenched in your negative believes at the moment. That's not at all uncommon considering that you have been struggling with those issues for a long time. CBT can help to change those believes. You can use your homework exercise to share them with your therapist.

Most importantly, if you haven't already, I would strongly encourage you to discuss your thoughts about taking your life with your therapist and your GP. It's important that they know that you feel that way.

And don't worry about being a burden on the NHS. The system can cope. The more important thing at the moment is the impact health anxiety has on your life.

Best of luck for your session today. :smile:


Thanks for your post.

The NHS can't cope with someone going to hospital every day. It doesn't know how to.
Reply 13
Ive been set the "challenge" of going to the cinema on saturday evening instead of going to A&E, but thats the hardest day for me because ive got acting class as well so i know i wont manage it.
Reply 14
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for your post.

The NHS can't cope with someone going to hospital every day. It doesn't know how to.


That's true. Ideally you would receive appropriate support and work would be done to help you present less however AEs and walk in centers are not really equipped to provide this sort of service. What I meant is that you aren't going to break the NHS by presenting everyday.

How did your session go? Did you find it any more useful?
Reply 15
Original post by belis
That's true. Ideally you would receive appropriate support and work would be done to help you present less however AEs and walk in centers are not really equipped to provide this sort of service. What I meant is that you aren't going to break the NHS by presenting everyday.

How did your session go? Did you find it any more useful?


not in terms of making any progress, no. She says i need to be "exposed" to anxiety which she thinks stems from my fear of independence but she wont tell me how to cope with it. Im beginning to wonder if she even knows.
Reply 16
Original post by Anonymous
not in terms of making any progress, no. She says i need to be "exposed" to anxiety which she thinks stems from my fear of independence but she wont tell me how to cope with it. Im beginning to wonder if she even knows.


The idea is that if you expose yourself to a situation that provokes anxiety you gradually become less anxious and better able to cope.

This website explains it quite well: http://www.cureyourpanic.org/index.php?fuseaction=members.lesson1_7

It's still early days. Don't be discouraged. I get a feeling that you don't have much faith in your therapist at the moment. They will be following a programme. The idea behind CBT is that you don't give people answers but help them come up with their own solutions. It can be a bit frustrating at time but stick with it. :smile:
Reply 17
Original post by Anonymous
not in terms of making any progress, no. She says i need to be "exposed" to anxiety which she thinks stems from my fear of independence but she wont tell me how to cope with it. Im beginning to wonder if she even knows.


For therapy to work you need to believe the things your therapist is saying to you. Rather than just thinking shes talking crap and let it go in one ear and out the other- try and make your life better.

I have social anxiety and depression, my therapy was short but it was enough to help me challenge my anxiety and i feel better than i have ever been. I still have my safety behaviours (youll know what that is through cbt) but thats fine because im not letting my anxiety control me.

You might not like what im about to say and i understand how youre feeling right now but the only way you will get better is if you put the time and effort in getting better. You wont just become fine by simply going to CBT, you need to work hard and get by to get a result at all.
Reply 18
Original post by Shazzarr
For therapy to work you need to believe the things your therapist is saying to you. Rather than just thinking shes talking crap and let it go in one ear and out the other- try and make your life better.

I have social anxiety and depression, my therapy was short but it was enough to help me challenge my anxiety and i feel better than i have ever been. I still have my safety behaviours (youll know what that is through cbt) but thats fine because im not letting my anxiety control me.

You might not like what im about to say and i understand how youre feeling right now but the only way you will get better is if you put the time and effort in getting better. You wont just become fine by simply going to CBT, you need to work hard and get by to get a result at all.

I didnt say shes talking crap. I do put the time and effort im just struggling to understand how its going to help.
Reply 19
Original post by Anonymous
I didnt say shes talking crap. I do put the time and effort im just struggling to understand how its going to help.


It may help to discuss your reservations with your therapist. You will engage better if you are convinced about the process. What's your homework this week?

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