Cat calling does happen daily
Ugh. I can't for the life of me understand why some men do this.
I, like many women, have faced and am a survivor of sexual harassment and cat calling in public spaces but the sheer mention of this is either met with one of four responses:
1) You're lying you're too ugly
2) take it as a compliment
3) Ogling and men chatting you up isn't illegal
4) If wouldn't be harassment if he was hot
The idea that all women are lying about this and you have to be a supermodel to face this is clearly debunked on face value and not even worthy of indulging.
The third and second are related, they are both intentionally conflating things. They assume we are over exaggerating and by harassment we mean a pick up line. A polite and socially acceptable conversation where you show interest in me is not harassment or cat calling. I was harassed at an MMA centre where a trainer kept touching me inappropriately in ways he didn't with the guys, I reported him and he was let go, making it safe for me to continue, this is what needs to happen, men need to listen instead of just tell us what we experience.
Yes, ogling at people is legal, but so is coughing in people's faces, both are extremely impolite and if you follow me that becomes stalking which isn't legal. Cat calling, harassment and ogling all act as if we are objects to be leer at and are ways of males trying to control public space, that if we enter we must be judged outwardly by them, god forbid a covert glance or socially acceptable conversation where we are treated like humans.
We're sexualised and fetishised just by walking down the street and seen as something to conquer, the sense of entitlement that the guys who do this show is unbearable. You are not entitled to somebodies time or attention.
Shouting insults is not a compliment, feeling entitled to my time is not a compliment, Staring is not a compliment, Groping on the tube is not compliment. A compliment is being treated like a person.
It wouldn't be harassment if he was hot? Stop with this myth, an attractive person can still act inappropriate, assault and harass people. People might be more willing to look past it, that doesn’t make it okay though.
If you don't want to be treated like a creep because of assumptions then call out the other men who do this and support us. Don't make contradictions.
Isn't it ironic ) that one of the primary mainsplaining "avoid your rape" tips is tantamount to "assume the worst! Always sense danger everywhere outside your tightly locked home!" But in practice, it's always, "but IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'm different! I just want to talk and compliment you!"
I, like many women, have faced and am a survivor of sexual harassment and cat calling in public spaces but the sheer mention of this is either met with one of four responses:
1) You're lying you're too ugly
2) take it as a compliment
3) Ogling and men chatting you up isn't illegal
4) If wouldn't be harassment if he was hot
The idea that all women are lying about this and you have to be a supermodel to face this is clearly debunked on face value and not even worthy of indulging.
The third and second are related, they are both intentionally conflating things. They assume we are over exaggerating and by harassment we mean a pick up line. A polite and socially acceptable conversation where you show interest in me is not harassment or cat calling. I was harassed at an MMA centre where a trainer kept touching me inappropriately in ways he didn't with the guys, I reported him and he was let go, making it safe for me to continue, this is what needs to happen, men need to listen instead of just tell us what we experience.
Yes, ogling at people is legal, but so is coughing in people's faces, both are extremely impolite and if you follow me that becomes stalking which isn't legal. Cat calling, harassment and ogling all act as if we are objects to be leer at and are ways of males trying to control public space, that if we enter we must be judged outwardly by them, god forbid a covert glance or socially acceptable conversation where we are treated like humans.
We're sexualised and fetishised just by walking down the street and seen as something to conquer, the sense of entitlement that the guys who do this show is unbearable. You are not entitled to somebodies time or attention.
Shouting insults is not a compliment, feeling entitled to my time is not a compliment, Staring is not a compliment, Groping on the tube is not compliment. A compliment is being treated like a person.
It wouldn't be harassment if he was hot? Stop with this myth, an attractive person can still act inappropriate, assault and harass people. People might be more willing to look past it, that doesn’t make it okay though.
If you don't want to be treated like a creep because of assumptions then call out the other men who do this and support us. Don't make contradictions.
Isn't it ironic ) that one of the primary mainsplaining "avoid your rape" tips is tantamount to "assume the worst! Always sense danger everywhere outside your tightly locked home!" But in practice, it's always, "but IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'm different! I just want to talk and compliment you!"
(edited 9 years ago)
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Did you just call yourself a survivor of cat-calling? Jesus christ, could you victimize yourself any further. I feel sorry for this new generation of women being raised as victims, what the **** happened to all that women power/strength ****? Did you hear Malcolm X calling himself a survivor of racism? Nah, dude understood being a pussy and having a victimhood mentality won't get you anywhere. Do you know how many times I've walked around london and someone wanted to start a fight? Am I surivor of aggressive masculinity (or whatever you want to call it)?
Anyway, cat-calling might happen but just like rape/sexual assualt it's done by a very small subsect of men. Also, just so we're clear cat calling = shouting **** right (e.g. nice ass)? Going up to a girl and trying to chat her up isn't cat-calling, right?
Anyway, cat-calling might happen but just like rape/sexual assualt it's done by a very small subsect of men. Also, just so we're clear cat calling = shouting **** right (e.g. nice ass)? Going up to a girl and trying to chat her up isn't cat-calling, right?
OP please name 3 positive things you see in men, from the threads I've seen I would guess you have never had contact with a male human being because you seem to think we are all insane rabid animals who constantly want to crush womankind. People like you are why TSR thinks all feminists are crazy (they aren't, I know a couple of feminists and they would not rant about the stuff most 'feminists' on this website do).
Sigh. 
Giving women such a bad name. A survivor of what exactly?
Posted from TSR Mobile
Giving women such a bad name. A survivor of what exactly?
Posted from TSR Mobile
I'm not sure but what i took OP to mean is not that it happens to her on every single day or any one woman for that matter but that it is a daily occurrence. That it is something that happens a lot to different women and we accept it as part of life.
Too many fem debates since i joined TSR, bored with the same arguments all the time now but I liked some of your points OP.
Too many fem debates since i joined TSR, bored with the same arguments all the time now but I liked some of your points OP.
Original post by la95
What on earth have your subjective opinions on the relative attractiveness of the OP in relation to your friends got to do with anything? You do realise that their looks have absolutely no bearing whatsoever on the validity of their opinions, right?
In this 'feminist' fantasy (I use quotation marks because I believe most real feminists would not want to associate themselves with these types of anecdotal arguments) the catcallers will target attractive women and ignore 'ugly' ones (giving a tsr 'feminist' a chance to complain about how guys only care about looks). Having said that whilst I think OP's anecdotes are likely a load of rubbish (I doubt you can just sack an MMA trainer without giving him a warning, especially if it was her word against his, plus she claimed on another thread a topless man sat next to her on the bus, spread his legs and put his arm round her,) I really doubt this guy showed the post to 11 of his friends, seems unlikely in such a short space of time unless his idea of a good night out with mates is to browse tsr.
Original post by justanotherposter
I really doubt this guy showed the post to 11 of his friends, seems unlikely in such a short space of time unless his idea of a good night out with mates is to browse tsr.
I really doubt this guy showed the post to 11 of his friends, seems unlikely in such a short space of time unless his idea of a good night out with mates is to browse tsr.
When did I say I was on a night out ?
I was sat in a flat and noticed the thread on my phone. Pulled it up on my mates laptop and showed it to my mates. I replied 15 minutes after the start of the thread.
Pedant.
Original post by Meyrin
Though the OP might have worded it better and possibly less dramatically, that does not minimise the points her post makes, and to be honest all of the "clever", blatantly rep-seeking responses have done so far is prove right the argument they mock.
A very narrow-minded and incorrect assumption.
A very narrow-minded and incorrect assumption.
How can someone be a 'survivor' of cat calling? I mean, it doesn't get more first world problem worthy than that.
No one denies that women get catcalled on the street. Everyone however is disputing that it happens as often as she says. The problem is that it's grossly exaggerated.
Posted from TSR Mobile
While I acknowledge these issues and at times experience them myself.....mate. Its never as deep as those paragraphs I did not read. First World problems indeed!
Original post by Xyloid
And where did I say that unattractive (supposedly by my standards that is) women don't get cat called ?
Stop being an overly-politically correct pile or boredom because we've got enough of those on this forum as it is. The most attractive women in society by anyone's standards don't get cat-called everyday without fail here in the UK because we don't live in a country where such large magnitudes of men don't know that it's a rude thing to do.
Stop being an overly-politically correct pile or boredom because we've got enough of those on this forum as it is. The most attractive women in society by anyone's standards don't get cat-called everyday without fail here in the UK because we don't live in a country where such large magnitudes of men don't know that it's a rude thing to do.
You assumed that because your friends are "more attractive" than the OP, and have not experienced catcalling to any great extent, that for others and the OP it must not be that much of a problem because in your eyes she is not as pretty.
As for the last part of your post, well... as they say, ignorance is bliss.
Original post by Eva.Gregoria
How can someone be a 'survivor' of cat calling? I mean, it doesn't get more first world problem worthy than that.
No one denies that women get catcalled on the street. Everyone however is disputing that it happens as often as she says. The problem is that it's grossly exaggerated.
No one denies that women get catcalled on the street. Everyone however is disputing that it happens as often as she says. The problem is that it's grossly exaggerated.
I'm not denying "survivor" was a silly term to use. She put off people from the very beginning with that, and it ruined her post. Though she may have confused it with the term "rape survivor", or sought to encompass that in her description.
It's not quite enough of an excuse to completely dismiss what she's saying, regardless.
Original post by Eva.Gregoria
How can someone be a 'survivor' of cat calling? I mean, it doesn't get more first world problem worthy than that.
No one denies that women get catcalled on the street. Everyone however is disputing that it happens as often as she says. The problem is that it's grossly exaggerated.
Posted from TSR Mobile
No one denies that women get catcalled on the street. Everyone however is disputing that it happens as often as she says. The problem is that it's grossly exaggerated.
Posted from TSR Mobile
It's insulting to actual rape and sexual assault victims.
You can't be a survivor of sexual harassment?
Original post by Queen Lupita
You can't be a survivor of sexual harassment?
Since when is cat calling sexual harassment?
Original post by Kaeseia
Since when is cat calling sexual harassment?
Read the op again, genius.
Original post by Queen Lupita
You can't be a survivor of sexual harassment?
No.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Queen Lupita
Read the op again, genius.
No offense OP but this is the internet, anecdotes can be (and on a frequent basis are) fabricated by someone in order to make their story sound better, remove the harassment story and you are left with a rant about nothing. Creepy guys do exist, however whether your story is true or not (and I'm sorry if it is) this doesn't really prove anything, one anecdote is not evidence cat calling is a widespread problem, if someone I knew got murdered I could not then start claiming murders happen daily and it is widespread.
Original post by justanotherposter
No offense OP but this is the internet, anecdotes can be (and on a frequent basis are) fabricated by someone in order to make their story sound better, remove the harassment story and you are left with a rant about nothing. Creepy guys do exist, however whether your story is true or not (and I'm sorry if it is) this doesn't really prove anything, one anecdote is not evidence cat calling is a widespread problem, if someone I knew got murdered I could not then start claiming murders happen daily and it is widespread.
This + I don't know anyone who feels like they have to survive catcalling besides OP.
Original post by Kaeseia
This + I don't know anyone who feels like they have to survive catcalling besides OP.
I said sexual harassment, read the op like I said, how is that not traumatic?
Original post by Queen Lupita
I said sexual harassment, read the op like I said, how is that not traumatic?
Your entire thread is about catcalling... so I'm going to continue talking about catcalling... which IMO is not sexual harassment...
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