Living alone issue, really depresses me. Any suggestions?
Hi,
I am a first year student, I joined the uni last September through clearing because I didn't choose it right in the UCAS (the first stupid mistake I made).
So after a while I got offered in a university but because of the delay, I missed the whole first freshman's week in the university, when I arrived, basically I knew nobody, and I was not a really socialised person, so I did not get involved well enough, and I did not chose to put myself in to make friends. (second stupid mistake).
And because of the clearing, I had to look for my own accommodation, so unlike everybody else that will choose to live in a shared flat where it's much easier to make friends with others in their first year. I chose to live alone (in a studio), with nobody in my course living in the same building, not even any first year. (third stupid mistake).
And somehow I made myself feeling comfortable not to make other friends while living alone for the whole entire year! And I booked my apartment of living alone next year as well!!! OMG.... (4th stupid mistake)
And now in the end of my first year, this whole feeling all come crushing on me: 'I just missed the most important opportunity to make friends in my uni, and I probably won't get a second chance! (because in second year everybody will be like already know people around and it will be so hard to get involved then)'.
I know I wrote alot, but this question really frustrates the xxxx out of me. So if you are patient enough to read my post, are there any suggestions for me about what should I do for next year? Or should I just redo the first year again? (I am really struggling about this because that means my parents have to pay me extra for another year and I have a good academic results already... should I give everything up?)
I am a first year student, I joined the uni last September through clearing because I didn't choose it right in the UCAS (the first stupid mistake I made).
So after a while I got offered in a university but because of the delay, I missed the whole first freshman's week in the university, when I arrived, basically I knew nobody, and I was not a really socialised person, so I did not get involved well enough, and I did not chose to put myself in to make friends. (second stupid mistake).
And because of the clearing, I had to look for my own accommodation, so unlike everybody else that will choose to live in a shared flat where it's much easier to make friends with others in their first year. I chose to live alone (in a studio), with nobody in my course living in the same building, not even any first year. (third stupid mistake).
And somehow I made myself feeling comfortable not to make other friends while living alone for the whole entire year! And I booked my apartment of living alone next year as well!!! OMG.... (4th stupid mistake)
And now in the end of my first year, this whole feeling all come crushing on me: 'I just missed the most important opportunity to make friends in my uni, and I probably won't get a second chance! (because in second year everybody will be like already know people around and it will be so hard to get involved then)'.
I know I wrote alot, but this question really frustrates the xxxx out of me. So if you are patient enough to read my post, are there any suggestions for me about what should I do for next year? Or should I just redo the first year again? (I am really struggling about this because that means my parents have to pay me extra for another year and I have a good academic results already... should I give everything up?)
tbh it depends if you are male or female, females usually find it easier to make friends. Anyway, don't worry, my brother had a room by himself too, and it was fine, think about it - no one to annoy you constantly 
. Is it really worth it to start a year again just cos university hasnt been the ideal social experience? I mean, do you go to uni to learn or make friends? Don't waste a year for this; if you fail to make friends again wouldn't that be even more depressing.
. Is it really worth it to start a year again just cos university hasnt been the ideal social experience? I mean, do you go to uni to learn or make friends? Don't waste a year for this; if you fail to make friends again wouldn't that be even more depressing.
if your accomodation building has socials/welcome parties go to them as the people in the building will change every year
friendships on your course will develop through second year so if you make an effort with those people it's not all over
if you can find someone to take your room you may be able to move into a mixed flat
I doubt your uni would allow you to repeat a year if you have good results
friendships on your course will develop through second year so if you make an effort with those people it's not all over
if you can find someone to take your room you may be able to move into a mixed flat
I doubt your uni would allow you to repeat a year if you have good results
Go to uni socials, go to freshers fair and join a club or something. Even pluck up the courage and sit next to someone in your lecture room and have a chat or something. Just because you live alone, does not mean there are not other occasions to make friends.
Also don't let the idea that "everyone already has friends" put you off being social, there's many people at uni (me included) who end up leaving uni with completely different friends to those they hung out with during freshers.
Also don't let the idea that "everyone already has friends" put you off being social, there's many people at uni (me included) who end up leaving uni with completely different friends to those they hung out with during freshers.
I feel the same way if I live alone at times. Try to go for a regular long walk, as this changes your visual environment and also in parks or 'safe' places you might meet people of similar nature as yourself.
When you are not studying try watching some comedy on your TV or computer, as your mind needs distraction, and the laughter as well as the walking helps to release the daily tensions that we all accumulate. Ii's important not to lie on too long in bed when on your days off. It really would be helpful if you could meet and speak to people even if just for a short time, it would help to boost your confidence and maybe email your friends as well, but don't go down the road that leads you to depression as this is often addressed by doctors giving you anti- depressants that are hard to get off, and some of them make you feel like a zombie, psychoactive drugs even from a doctor are a no no, unless of course you are severely depressed and feeling suicidal. There are probably help lines available on the Internet for people who are simply lonely, but only use the recognised ones for your own safety. Another possibility is either voluntary work, as you could meet people who would possibly be friendly to you and they are maybe lonely as well. I know that you may not have time for this, but do take a regular walk at least.
Best Wishes
Bernard
When you are not studying try watching some comedy on your TV or computer, as your mind needs distraction, and the laughter as well as the walking helps to release the daily tensions that we all accumulate. Ii's important not to lie on too long in bed when on your days off. It really would be helpful if you could meet and speak to people even if just for a short time, it would help to boost your confidence and maybe email your friends as well, but don't go down the road that leads you to depression as this is often addressed by doctors giving you anti- depressants that are hard to get off, and some of them make you feel like a zombie, psychoactive drugs even from a doctor are a no no, unless of course you are severely depressed and feeling suicidal. There are probably help lines available on the Internet for people who are simply lonely, but only use the recognised ones for your own safety. Another possibility is either voluntary work, as you could meet people who would possibly be friendly to you and they are maybe lonely as well. I know that you may not have time for this, but do take a regular walk at least.
Best Wishes
Bernard
