i have no idea what i'm doing any more, it's like i'm living two lives - public sarah (actively trying to overcome things) and private sarah (still trying to further her bad ambitions) and i don't know whether i'm more public or private atm. all i know is that i wanna make the most of my placement next week, so i cant be fainting and collapsing everywhere, but at the same time the thought of reversing all this hard work terrifies me so i'm kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place.