Hello, I am still new to this Complicated Tsr forums
I am going to Nigeria Next Week Friday for a three week holiday to see my Extended Relatives.
I have a problem with this. I suffer from Depression and Social Anxiety and other 'needs' and in that Country, You have to act like an 'African' and try ur best not be a weirdo. Also because i hate my parents with a passion, There are very stressful and currently driving me to Deep Depression because i'm a failure as i am 19 and should be in university by now
The problem which is going to shock all of you is that i am a boring piece of **** and as men, we like sports such as Football and Rugby etc etc. I don't watch football (i've even struggled to watch the world cup).
So if i tell these people about my personality or how i can't get into uni in England because i'm a Freak, they will insult me more worse than is use in the London way of telling someone 'ur a wasteman'.
And also i remember last year when i went to Spain, I did very Strange things which led to one of my Aunties Publicly humiliate me in front of a wedding party. i even remember begging people to send me to a Mental hospital but no gave a ****.
So all these will worry me when i go to Nigeria, I know for a fact i will come back to London with a even more worst Mind set and probably will end in a mental hospital
Sorry, i'm not good in these forums so if i have talked no sense, just tell me
i do have low self esteem and i've had help in the past but are all useless
Well, either your wish is to go to a mental hospital and attack any mental illness from the beginning, because untreated they only get worse, except if all you need is some time and you get it, but you sound just stressed.
The best thing is probably for you to get some distance from your families exspectations. Calm down, you apparantly live most of the year in the UK, so you are really able to find a place and then from time to time say some words over football in the holidays.
You have to find something you like and then persue it. At first only some activities and then maybe a profession, too. Usually people take someone more seriously, who has another interest, but then really persues the interest and is happy, which is good for the others, too.
Cheer up! Plenty of possibilities to live a live without being the personification of the typical nigerian male role model.
I came back from nigeria a while ago and i can confirm that whilst it wasn't as bad that i thought in my mind, i can kindly say without being offensive or racist that i can't call myself a nigerian. I believe my britishness and my London attitude ruined others around me.
the only thing i liked whilst staying in Nigeria was a hot girl (in which i had delusional thoughts that this could be my girlfriend) who lived in my neighbourhood and thats it.
I came back from nigeria a while ago and i can confirm that whilst it wasn't as bad that i thought in my mind, i can kindly say without being offensive or racist that i can't call myself a nigerian. I believe my britishness and my London attitude ruined others around me.
the only thing i liked whilst staying in Nigeria was a hot girl (in which i had delusional thoughts that this could be my girlfriend) who lived in my neighbourhood and thats it.
It is okay to feel at home in the UK. These tensions are sadly part of immigration, but the important thing is, you obviously feel at home, where you live.