Basically I was wandering if anyone could shed some light on what could be going on with me.
Growing up, I was bullied in primary school, secondary school and even sixth form. I know its easy to say, meh, get over it, but it was some pretty ongoing and persistent bullying that stopped me from integrating with my peers. I thought secondary school would be a new chapter but unfortunately, being local, the history of being bullied in primary school seemed to continue. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I found it very difficult to integrate and went from an outgoing and fun child to an introverted adult. I developed negative coping strategies. I often acted hostile to people wanting to befriend me, I've never been in any relationship like my peers. I never went to any vacations with the few friends I had. And I rarely go out with my few friends, and hardly ever these days.
I feel that people don't want to associate with me because I'm not sociable and don't seem to want to integrate. This has been the case at uni where I am at now. My teacher at school said she thought I had developed a mental health condition since I always go on about the same things and can't seen to get over things.
I feel that I've missed out on a proper childhood and here I am, at 23, still have very few friends, have a negative outlook on life, and feel as though I'm just existing. The only thing going for me is that I'm at uni studying for a decent degree.
I keep telling myself that as long as you do well in uni, nothing else matters, but I know deep inside thats not true.
How can I move forward from here ? I really don't want 'therapy' and I have to admit I am someone who tends to ignore problems rather than face them straight on.
Do I just keep going and wait for things to eventually pass ? Are they likely to ?
I really appreciate your help