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I don't know what's wrong with me? Help please :(

Hi everyone.

Basically, I haven't been in a very good place lately (well not lately - for a long time). This may be a bit of a long post so please bare with me - I will try to make it as short as possible.

I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and panic attacks when I was about 17 (I'm 19 now), mainly anxiety surrounding my health, social situations, and general anxiety. On top of this I was diagnosed with insomnia at the same time. I was given CBT to treat it which didn't work, and I'm currently on 20mg of Fluoxetine/Prozac which doesn't seem to be doing much so far, but I've only been on it about 5 weeks.

However, I definitely have more problems than anxiety and insomnia going on which I haven't discussed with my doctor as I'm just scared to. I go from feeling overwhelmed with emotions/situations/full of anxiety, to feeling numb and empty in pretty short spaces of time. I would suspect bi-polar (my mother was diagnosed with this) but my numb/empty episodes can last from a few hours out of a day to an entire week, which seems a bit too quick for bipolar related disorders, and my depressive episodes don't seem to completely relate to a normal depressive episode, and then I will go to feeling 'normal', which to me is a mixture of energy and anxiety. Sometimes I can feel both at once, which is EXTREMELY confusing to me as it's contradictory to feel numb and overwhelmed at the same time, but it's the only way I can describe it. I also have problems in social situations and relationships, constantly feeling like I'm going to be abandoned by my friends, or that they don't like me, or that I'm annoying them. Even though I seem to push most people away when they get too close, I still feel abandoned even though sometimes it's me doing it.

Sometimes I just feel completely disconnected from everyone around me. For example, this morning I was walking down the road and it was almost as if I was looking upon myself from above (not physically doing this, but this is the closest I can get to describing it), and feeling like people around me were robots. The thing is I KNOW that they're not robots deep inside, but it feels like they are. It's a slightly similar feeling I get during a panic attack actually, but not exactly the same. Sometimes this might last a few days and then I might not get it for a while - it doesn't necessarily effect my life as much as my other symptoms but I think it's noteworthy.

One reason I'm scared of seeing the doctor is that I don't want to tell my mum about this. She's going through a lot and I wouldn't want her to worry about it. I have friends diagnosed with various mental illnesses like depression, bipolar, anxiety and other personality disorders, and I can confide in them when I need to, but I just feel a burden but they are there for me when I really need it, and they seem to understand what I'm going through.

Basically, my questions are, what illnesses do my symptoms suggest to you? And what would I expect from a doctors visit explaining my mental state at the moment?

(P.S. I'm only asking what you guys think is wrong with me just to try and give myself a bit of clarity before I pluck up the courage to see a doctor. I'm not one for self-diagnosis but it's nice to know other peoples opinions on what they think it is.)
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 1
Original post by Charybde
Hi everyone.

Basically, I haven't been in a very good place lately (well not lately - for a long time). This may be a bit of a long post so please bare with me - I will try to make it as short as possible.

I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and panic attacks when I was about 17 (I'm 19 now), mainly anxiety surrounding my health, social situations, and general anxiety. On top of this I was diagnosed with insomnia at the same time. I was given CBT to treat it which didn't work, and I'm currently on 20mg of Fluoxetine/Prozac which doesn't seem to be doing much so far, but I've only been on it about 5 weeks.

However, I definitely have more problems than anxiety and insomnia going on which I haven't discussed with my doctor as I'm just scared to. I go from feeling overwhelmed with emotions/situations/full of anxiety, to feeling numb and empty in pretty short spaces of time. I would suspect bi-polar (my mother was diagnosed with this) but my numb/empty episodes can last from a few hours out of a day to an entire week, which seems a bit too quick for bipolar related disorders, and my depressive episodes don't seem to completely relate to a normal depressive episode, and then I will go to feeling 'normal', which to me is a mixture of energy and anxiety. Sometimes I can feel both at once, which is EXTREMELY confusing to me as it's contradictory to feel numb and overwhelmed at the same time, but it's the only way I can describe it. I also have problems in social situations and relationships, constantly feeling like I'm going to be abandoned by my friends, or that they don't like me, or that I'm annoying them. Even though I seem to push most people away when they get too close, I still feel abandoned even though sometimes it's me doing it.

Sometimes I just feel completely disconnected from everyone around me. For example, this morning I was walking down the road and it was almost as if I was looking upon myself from above (not physically doing this, but this is the closest I can get to describing it), and feeling like people around me were robots. The thing is I KNOW that they're not robots deep inside, but it feels like they are. It's a slightly similar feeling I get during a panic attack actually, but not exactly the same. Sometimes this might last a few days and then I might not get it for a while - it doesn't necessarily effect my life as much as my other symptoms but I think it's noteworthy.

One reason I'm scared of seeing the doctor is that I don't want to tell my mum about this. She's going through a lot and I wouldn't want her to worry about it. I have friends diagnosed with various mental illnesses like depression, bipolar, anxiety and other personality disorders, and I can confide in them when I need to, but I just feel a burden but they are there for me when I really need it, and they seem to understand what I'm going through.

Basically, my questions are, what illnesses do my symptoms suggest to you? And what would I expect from a doctors visit explaining my mental state at the moment?

(P.S. I'm only asking what you guys think is wrong with me just to try and give myself a bit of clarity before I pluck up the courage to see a doctor. I'm not one for self-diagnosis but it's nice to know other peoples opinions on what they think it is.)

very sad
I'm going through a similar period at the moment, although I only have severe depression. Just go to your GP, you don't need to involve your mum if you don't want to. They'll probably sign you up for counselling... for me counselling doesn't work, but once I've completed it I can then get anti-depressant tablets. Hope you get through it, just remember your not alone. I'm struggling at the moment myself.
Reply 3
Original post by i-love-coffee
I'm going through a similar period at the moment, although I only have severe depression. Just go to your GP, you don't need to involve your mum if you don't want to. They'll probably sign you up for counselling... for me counselling doesn't work, but once I've completed it I can then get anti-depressant tablets. Hope you get through it, just remember your not alone. I'm struggling at the moment myself.


They changed my antidepressants to Sertraline, which I start next week, and have referred me to counselling. My doctor seemed pretty worried with the state I was in which scared me a bit as I didn't want to be sectioned :/ but she said to come back ASAP if I feel even a little worse.

I hope you're okay soon. Feel free to drop me a message any time. Would be nice to speak to someone who's going through similar.
Original post by Charybde
Hi everyone.

Basically, I haven't been in a very good place lately (well not lately - for a long time). This may be a bit of a long post so please bare with me - I will try to make it as short as possible.

I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and panic attacks when I was about 17 (I'm 19 now), mainly anxiety surrounding my health, social situations, and general anxiety. On top of this I was diagnosed with insomnia at the same time. I was given CBT to treat it which didn't work, and I'm currently on 20mg of Fluoxetine/Prozac which doesn't seem to be doing much so far, but I've only been on it about 5 weeks.

However, I definitely have more problems than anxiety and insomnia going on which I haven't discussed with my doctor as I'm just scared to. I go from feeling overwhelmed with emotions/situations/full of anxiety, to feeling numb and empty in pretty short spaces of time. I would suspect bi-polar (my mother was diagnosed with this) but my numb/empty episodes can last from a few hours out of a day to an entire week, which seems a bit too quick for bipolar related disorders, and my depressive episodes don't seem to completely relate to a normal depressive episode, and then I will go to feeling 'normal', which to me is a mixture of energy and anxiety. Sometimes I can feel both at once, which is EXTREMELY confusing to me as it's contradictory to feel numb and overwhelmed at the same time, but it's the only way I can describe it. I also have problems in social situations and relationships, constantly feeling like I'm going to be abandoned by my friends, or that they don't like me, or that I'm annoying them. Even though I seem to push most people away when they get too close, I still feel abandoned even though sometimes it's me doing it.

Sometimes I just feel completely disconnected from everyone around me. For example, this morning I was walking down the road and it was almost as if I was looking upon myself from above (not physically doing this, but this is the closest I can get to describing it), and feeling like people around me were robots. The thing is I KNOW that they're not robots deep inside, but it feels like they are. It's a slightly similar feeling I get during a panic attack actually, but not exactly the same. Sometimes this might last a few days and then I might not get it for a while - it doesn't necessarily effect my life as much as my other symptoms but I think it's noteworthy.

One reason I'm scared of seeing the doctor is that I don't want to tell my mum about this. She's going through a lot and I wouldn't want her to worry about it. I have friends diagnosed with various mental illnesses like depression, bipolar, anxiety and other personality disorders, and I can confide in them when I need to, but I just feel a burden but they are there for me when I really need it, and they seem to understand what I'm going through.

Basically, my questions are, what illnesses do my symptoms suggest to you? And what would I expect from a doctors visit explaining my mental state at the moment?

(P.S. I'm only asking what you guys think is wrong with me just to try and give myself a bit of clarity before I pluck up the courage to see a doctor. I'm not one for self-diagnosis but it's nice to know other peoples opinions on what they think it is.)


It sounds to me that you have extreme anxiety but obviously somebody can't diagnose you on the internet.

The bit that I highlighted is actually very common if you have high anxiety, it's called depersonalization or ''feelings of unreality''. I used to have it quite badly and it would cause some of the worst panic attacks I have ever experienced, it felt very alarming and as if I was about to go crazy.

There is a good forum you can join which is called http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/ and there is also a panic helpline you can phone http://www.nopanic.org.uk/ there will 100% be people there who can relate to you, so don't think you are alone.

Remember that since you've only been on fluoxetine for a short while it can make your symptoms worse before they get better. But if you feel like it isn't working for you then go and speak to your doctor and ask about different medications but remember never just stop taking your meds without speaking to your GP.

Anxiety can honestly make you feel all sorts of crazy, I was 100% sure I had something so much worse than anxiety.

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