Feel absoloutely ****

feel useless, lost in life(right then, you just need a sense of direction, a new goal to aim towards - what sort of things can you think of?) don't know what i'm doing with my life, feel like I have no worth or real use to anyone (you mean so much more to people than you will ever imagine, honestly - learn to realise that you are so, so important and a unique part of the world, providing happiness to everyone around you). all i'm going to do is do an art degree (hey, you're doing a degree - that's more than a lot of people can say! You're showing commitment and dedication ) which won't benefit anyone (it will benefit you, make you a better person and create pathways for the future) and no one will be interested in what I'm doing (I am, I promise - and I'm sure all of your friends and family are, too - plus all of the other people you know) when there's already millions of other artists out there (and? there are millions of scientists and teachers and musicians, too - but they are all unique, just like you are). I won't change any one's life and no one will respect me (I respect you and I'm sure you'll make an impact, set yourself a goal and you will). Nobody respects me or likes me (I respect you and I like you, so shhh). I can't even be in a relationship because I'm consistently so lost in life (Then set yourself a target and find yourself. Learn to love yourself and others will follow). I go through life and over the years nothing changes. I still stay the same, the same lost confused person, wondering what the hell I am doing here. At least when I was younger I used to have goals, people used to somehow think I was clever, but now I've lost that. I've lost everything. I don't have anything left, not even a little confidence. (Then find some confidence Get back to what you were back then.) Life seems so against me. I want to fight for things but no one around me believes in them. (I believe in you, so go on, fight for it). I'm living in a world of impossibility and disillusionment. And I bet none of this made sense because that's how confused I am (I know exactly what you mean, because I've felt like this, too. I understand you.) Just want to break into tears because my esteem is that low and I can't see any useful future for myself (Then think of a future for yourself and follow it.) No relationship, no happiness, no success nothing. (With time, you'll have all of those things, honestly). I can just see myself alone, crying, in a little tiny flat, working in tesco for the rest of my life (Stop thinking it and you'll stop believing it. Don't get stuck in that cycle. Don't listen to your inner negativity. Think positively.). I don't know what's the point of being alive expect that when I have tried it before, other people were upset. I'm living for the point of those around me - my immediate family and a few concerned friends. (Do you want to put them through that pain again? No. You want to get back up and prove yourself and how you can be strong again. Think of how proud they'll be.) Nothing else. I'm living for them not to be upset by my death basically.(There are millions of things to live for, I promise. You just can't see them. You need learn to see them again, that's all.)

feel useless, lost in life, don't know what i'm doing with my life, feel like I have no worth or real use to anyone. all i'm going to do is do an art degree which won't benefit anyone and no one will be interested in what I'm doing when there's already millions of other artists out there. I won't change any one's life and no one will respect me. Nobody respects me or likes me. I can't even be in a relationship because I'm consistently so lost in life. I go through life and over the years nothing changes. I still stay the same, the same lost confused person, wondering what the hell I am doing here. At least when I was younger I used to have goals, people used to somehow think I was clever, but now I've lost that. I've lost everything. I don't have anything left, not even a little confidence. Life seems so against me. I want to fight for things but no one around me believes in them. I'm living in a world of impossibility and disillusionment. And I bet none of this made sense because that's how confused I am. Just want to break into tears because my esteem is that low and I can't see any useful future for myself. No relationship, no happiness, no success nothing. I can just see myself alone, crying, in a little tiny flat, working in tesco for the rest of my life. I don't know what's the point of being alive expect that when I have tried it before, other people were upset. I'm living for the point of those around me - my immediate family and a few concerned friends. Nothing else. I'm living for them not to be upset by my death basically.

Annotations in blue - please read them, and understand that I mean every word.



Please, PM me if you ever need someone to talk to.
I don't care if you want to rant about the world, swear at me, ask for advice or ignore me. I'll always listen, I promise.
I'll get back to you, ASAP.

Life does get better - you'll just have to trust me on that one.

I'm here for you.

~ Caitlin.

Did I reply to you in the other thread?
People just want you to be okay, even if they don't know you.
I don't want people to hurt, but you're hurting. So how can I help?
Have you ever considered changing degrees /+ unis?
I agree with the person above, at least your doing a degree! But if you're not happy doing it and if you feel it is worthless, then maybe you need to change courses. That may be why you don't feel close to anyone, as you haven't found someone who shares the same interests. Depression is just awful. It's not even a valid description for that as it's a lot worse. If you truly feel this way, then only you can take yourself out. If your not happy with your life, you need to do something about it. I know it's not going to be easy, and it may take some time to realise what you want, but you will get there in the end.

I am also perfectly happy messaging you ^-^ You will find happiness just like many others have. Don't give up!

Thank you so so much, that honestly does mean a lot just to read you making my negative thoughts a bit more positive.
I will try to message you when my heads all in one place and I'm feeling a bit more constructive.
Thanks!

Thank you so much for replying too and for trying to help me question what the hell is going on. I feel like I need to ask myself some questions too and then I will try to get back to you.