I think I have social anxiety
I'm 99% sure this is what I have. My parents have been going on for ages saying I have aspergers but I'm not convinced I was a perfectly normal confident and popular person up until I was about 19 then my confidence took a huge knock for nothing significant apart from not getting a girl I was seeing and chasing for years it was heartbreaking it other factors made me a selective mute for a while then I'm sure I got social anxiety as a result. Could this be possible that it stemmed from selective mutism? I wasn't diagnosed with it but it was pretty obvious as I didn't talk for about a year. Anyway nowadays I find it extremely hard to date even though I online date a lot and given the oppurtunity will usually flat out refuse to see someone. I don't have any decent fun conversations. I've lost my funny side that I used to have but I still get humour if that makes sense. I don't like parties or any situation where there's lots of people as I'm worried people will start acting like d*cka around me or I think I will see something that will make me jealous such as another girl from school with another lad. Or if I see a group of old friends that still hang out it would be too shy to approach them or at least be my old self and they would notice I've changed. I find it hard to smile sometimes because as I get nervous a lot I get a nervous twitch in my mouth so it's best to avoid doing it in some circumstances. I had a psychotic episode. I'm not much of a conversationalist and find it hard to make new friends although I have just started college and made some acquaintances already. I talk most at home with close family or friends. I've had the same friends that I've known most of them for around 7-10 years although I have 1-3 true friends depends how you'd describe a true friend. I struggle in job interviews and can't seem to get a job. I could be described as socially inept. I'm quite content at being alone at times but I don't like to be a "loner" so I do go out with friends occasionally as long as it's not the usual places that I know are hotspots for most people such as nightclubs or pubs. I prefer staying in a small society such as a club like a football team or a pool club. My mum stepmum dad and sister all say they think I have aspergers but I've only been like this for past 5 years and as I said I used to be confident popular and funny. I believe I didn't develop aspergers anyway as it all adds up to SAD and I'll see a therapist soon no doubt. Just wondering of others opinions?
