I have social anxiety
I am so lonely it hurts physically......
I have always thought I was only a shy person until I realised it's more than that. I have social anxiety and I don't know what to do. I have 0 friends right now. I've moved schools a lot and never found friends as I was scared to talk to anybody so I usually spent lunchtimes in the library pretending to study or in the toilet cubicle.
Anyway I've been at uni for a few days and i'm scared to leave my room to go to the shared kitchen. I've once gone and sat down but was scared to talk even introduce myself..... In the end everyone probably thinks i'm weird or stuck up... I just am scared to say anything... and when i do have a conversation with someone I don't know what to ask them....
I have nobody to talk to as my parents don't believe in these things and can't understand that it's easy to say 'just join in' but when i try to open my door i feel dizzy if that makes sense.
I don't know what to do anymore it's been 5 years of being alone. And I've gone though some unfortunate incidents without anybody to talk to as nobody would understand. It's been building up and I hoped to make friends but I don't think that's going to happen.
I have always thought I was only a shy person until I realised it's more than that. I have social anxiety and I don't know what to do. I have 0 friends right now. I've moved schools a lot and never found friends as I was scared to talk to anybody so I usually spent lunchtimes in the library pretending to study or in the toilet cubicle.
Anyway I've been at uni for a few days and i'm scared to leave my room to go to the shared kitchen. I've once gone and sat down but was scared to talk even introduce myself..... In the end everyone probably thinks i'm weird or stuck up... I just am scared to say anything... and when i do have a conversation with someone I don't know what to ask them....
I have nobody to talk to as my parents don't believe in these things and can't understand that it's easy to say 'just join in' but when i try to open my door i feel dizzy if that makes sense.
I don't know what to do anymore it's been 5 years of being alone. And I've gone though some unfortunate incidents without anybody to talk to as nobody would understand. It's been building up and I hoped to make friends but I don't think that's going to happen.
(edited 9 years ago)
sos lol
(edited 9 years ago)
I don't think you should give up yet! Is there anything you can cook which would take some preparation. I found at uni that when I was in the kitchen preparing something I could say hey to people I lived with but also have something to do at the same time so that there was a lot less awkwardness. It's not too late for you to make friends with these people - I know how disabling severe social anxiety can be but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet man and hopefully it will pay off.
Have you joined any societies? I'd really recommend sports societies as if you're playing a team game you've got something right there to talk about and that makes it easier without the pressure of having to maintain much communication as you're busy playing. I guess other societies would be good too for the same reason but with them you might find it more difficult as you can't exactly sit and talk in a sports game. Take a look at the list of societies and throw yourself into anything that seems interesting, it's a great way to make friends. I realize it's difficult to throw yourself in but it will eventually pay off if you do.
You've also got classes where you can meet people. Although it can be hard to sit by someone and introduce yourself you should really try to force yourself. Even when you're just waiting outside the room, maybe try asking someone there if it's X class, that's an easy thing that can lead to more conversation and hence hopefully friendship.
Good luck man.
Have you joined any societies? I'd really recommend sports societies as if you're playing a team game you've got something right there to talk about and that makes it easier without the pressure of having to maintain much communication as you're busy playing. I guess other societies would be good too for the same reason but with them you might find it more difficult as you can't exactly sit and talk in a sports game. Take a look at the list of societies and throw yourself into anything that seems interesting, it's a great way to make friends. I realize it's difficult to throw yourself in but it will eventually pay off if you do.
You've also got classes where you can meet people. Although it can be hard to sit by someone and introduce yourself you should really try to force yourself. Even when you're just waiting outside the room, maybe try asking someone there if it's X class, that's an easy thing that can lead to more conversation and hence hopefully friendship.
Good luck man.
Original post by Sabertooth
I don't think you should give up yet! Is there anything you can cook which would take some preparation. I found at uni that when I was in the kitchen preparing something I could say hey to people I lived with but also have something to do at the same time so that there was a lot less awkwardness. It's not too late for you to make friends with these people - I know how disabling severe social anxiety can be but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet man and hopefully it will pay off.
Have you joined any societies? I'd really recommend sports societies as if you're playing a team game you've got something right there to talk about and that makes it easier without the pressure of having to maintain much communication as you're busy playing. I guess other societies would be good too for the same reason but with them you might find it more difficult as you can't exactly sit and talk in a sports game. Take a look at the list of societies and throw yourself into anything that seems interesting, it's a great way to make friends. I realize it's difficult to throw yourself in but it will eventually pay off if you do.
You've also got classes where you can meet people. Although it can be hard to sit by someone and introduce yourself you should really try to force yourself. Even when you're just waiting outside the room, maybe try asking someone there if it's X class, that's an easy thing that can lead to more conversation and hence hopefully friendship.
Good luck man.
Have you joined any societies? I'd really recommend sports societies as if you're playing a team game you've got something right there to talk about and that makes it easier without the pressure of having to maintain much communication as you're busy playing. I guess other societies would be good too for the same reason but with them you might find it more difficult as you can't exactly sit and talk in a sports game. Take a look at the list of societies and throw yourself into anything that seems interesting, it's a great way to make friends. I realize it's difficult to throw yourself in but it will eventually pay off if you do.
You've also got classes where you can meet people. Although it can be hard to sit by someone and introduce yourself you should really try to force yourself. Even when you're just waiting outside the room, maybe try asking someone there if it's X class, that's an easy thing that can lead to more conversation and hence hopefully friendship.
Good luck man.
Thanks for the advice, it's just I'm scared to go to the kitchen in case someone is there, I dont know what I'd do I'd probably panic... I will go tomorrow though thanks for encouraging me!
Today i spoke to this other girl and she was being so rude only answering with one word sentences.. it actually helped me; who cares about these people. I will hopefully find someone nicer.
Did you have social anxiety?
I have social anxiety. I find it hard to make friends, but can easily lose them too cause i don't interact with them as easily.
Huge thumbs up to Sabertooth...Kind of nailed it on the head here. Force yourself even if you're scared, otherwise your fear will manifest itself and you won't want to leave the room to go to class. Societies are a good start, but if that is too daunting right now, strike up a casual conversation (how you doing etc)
I'm about to enter 3rd year at uni and can really say I only have one friend at uni. So, its not the quantity of friends, its the quality. That girl you spoke to was rude or just didn't wanna chat. Don't let it make you give up.
Also I found wearing something memorable can be good. One time I put on some bright green trousers on and everyone noticed me then (although they were horrific lol)
Huge thumbs up to Sabertooth...Kind of nailed it on the head here. Force yourself even if you're scared, otherwise your fear will manifest itself and you won't want to leave the room to go to class. Societies are a good start, but if that is too daunting right now, strike up a casual conversation (how you doing etc)
I'm about to enter 3rd year at uni and can really say I only have one friend at uni. So, its not the quantity of friends, its the quality. That girl you spoke to was rude or just didn't wanna chat. Don't let it make you give up.
Also I found wearing something memorable can be good. One time I put on some bright green trousers on and everyone noticed me then (although they were horrific lol)
I too have social anxiety, and I experienced the exact same thing last year when I moved into the halls. I used to just sit there in the kitchen whilst my flat mates would talk to each other. But it gradually got better and I started to join in. Eventually, I started going out to clubs, and was regularly invited out to do stuff 
The main point is: you HAVE to get out of your comfort zone if you want to improve your social life. It will definitely seem scary at first, and there will be awkward moments here and there initially, but you'll soon realise that you've been worrying over nothing. Good luck pal
The main point is: you HAVE to get out of your comfort zone if you want to improve your social life. It will definitely seem scary at first, and there will be awkward moments here and there initially, but you'll soon realise that you've been worrying over nothing. Good luck pal
I feel this pain
I moved into uni today an its not like I dont want to socialise I just cant bring myself to do it :/
I moved into uni today an its not like I dont want to socialise I just cant bring myself to do it :/
I think I have SA as well. Its like I want to say things to people but can't bring myself to.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for the advice, it's just I'm scared to go to the kitchen in case someone is there, I dont know what I'd do I'd probably panic... I will go tomorrow though thanks for encouraging me!
Today i spoke to this other girl and she was being so rude only answering with one word sentences.. it actually helped me; who cares about these people. I will hopefully find someone nicer.
Did you have social anxiety?
Today i spoke to this other girl and she was being so rude only answering with one word sentences.. it actually helped me; who cares about these people. I will hopefully find someone nicer.
Did you have social anxiety?
No problem, I hope you find something that works for you.
As I said, try preparing food in the kitchen that way you have something to focus on rather than how scared you are and hence avoid panicking.
I wouldn't waste time with people like that girl, it can make you feel crap when the other person doesn't seem interested, but. I think you've got the right attitude there
Yeah, I did/still do have social anxiety but I'm getting CBT to try and get over it.
If you are having problems its easiest to hang around un earshot and find it who the least beechy girl is and ask them for help and explain everything, don't rely on then but allow her to help introduce you and if you see that people aren't out to kill you then you might feel safer
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Hey I had social anxiety & overcame it, have you been to your GP yet? You could do with going on some medication to decrease the symptoms and put your name down for therapy too
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Posted from TSR Mobile
