I never stop when im at my mums, but i guess its kinda good. Spent yesterday and today with my nephew, he makes me so happy its unreal, never a dull moment with him, but my god does he wear me out! Had tea with my mum, nutty Nanna and a friend tonight. Was good to see them
Brownie trip tomorrow then nephew all day monday! Then back home tuesday.
So proud of my boyfriend though, hes spent most of today taking stuff to the tip, and sorting the spare room out!
I fear I'm having a nervous breakdown or something
I know the title sounds melodramatic but I really do feel like I have reached the end of my tether. I have GAD, PD and agoraphobia. I went from being housebound to having mostly good days with a few blips here and there.
In the last week alone I've had to go to the dentist, that may not seem like a big deal but when you have agoraphobia, its a nightmare, my friend came up for a few days so I had to go out the house constantly and swallow down all my panic and anxiety, I had my first migraine aura which terrified me in a way I can't describe and then to top it all off, my papa got admitted to hospital. It literally feels like its been one thing after another the last week.
I'm having constant panic attacks and I mean the bad ones. The ones that have you fear for your life even though you know you can't die or anything. I constantly feel spaced out and on the verge of crying, screaming or breaking down and worst of all, I'm terrified about going out again so fear my agoraphobia is going to come back full swing.
I took a massive panic attack last night and promised myself that if I survived it ( I knew I would but you know how you feel during an attack) that I wouldn't let this bad phase get to me and I would kick Anxiety's butt again but here I am in tears, feeling at breaking point. I've felt like this before but since it was a while ago, I feel like I don't kmow how to get out of it.
I'm sorry for a long post and I'm sorry if I have used the wrong wording and its not a breakdown or anything, I'm just so drained
I don't really know whether to take a break away for a bit. Not really contributing much and perhaps it's good to take a step back for just a little while
I don't really know whether to take a break away for a bit. Not really contributing much and perhaps it's good to take a step back for just a little while
Just called my mum and she has asked me to come over and see her kittens. Going to force myself to go no matter how panicky I might feel. I went out in the car (as a passenger as I can't drive) yesterday and I panicked like hell the entire time. It was like being outside for the first time after being housebound. Never thought I would feel that again
I don't really know whether to take a break away for a bit. Not really contributing much and perhaps it's good to take a step back for just a little while
I will miss you and your awesomeness but you need to think what is best for you.