Hey guys. I'm not 100% why I'm posting this, because I never post on forums and I have nothing to ask, but I feel the urge to 'get out there'.
So I'm 20-years-old and I have terrible anxiety (since I was 16 on and off) which has recently got quite severe, in the way that I'm fighting back panic attacks 3 times a day and constantly feel mentally exhausted.
I'm scared of everything. This September I'm going back to college to do an access course, I'm finally going to move up in the world and do more. But I'm starting to feel I won't make it. My anxiety is getting worse and worse and the doctors can only prescribe medication (which makes me insane! SSRI's messed me up completely, I now have beta blockers but I'm trying to avoid as they help in the moment but make me worse later) or offer me some half-a counselling. I feel like I'm just going to spiral till I'm insane before things will get better. I feel like it's not if I break but when.
Also, I have a boyfriend and a very supportive family (that know about my anxiety, in fact it's sort of genetic for us), but I feel so alone. Even when I'm talking to my friends or someone, I feel a little better but as soon as I'm alone it feels suffocating, like I can't exist alone anymore.
I don't know, I feel silly for posting this because I'm not asking anything I guess I'm just looking desperately anywhere I can for someone to tell me everything will be okay because I don't believe it.
I'm so tired of feeling hopeless.
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