Hey, I'm 23 (a guy)
I just feel like a complete waste of life. I just get really upset at times because I feel like I've never done anything with my life.
- Jobs. I really want to go into photography/media/TV but I've never been successful. I keep writing to places but they never get back to my application/email or they send the usual "you don't have enough experience". It just annoys me so much because lots of places want you to have experience first but places won't offer you the experience. I went to University and got a 2:1 in graphic design/photography but it's not got me anywhere
I work in retail. I enjoy working with the people but I just don't want to do retail.
- Driving. I've never learnt to Drive. I'm 23 and I still can't drive. I tried starting to Drive last year but the driving instructor put me off. I managed 6 lessons but I just got so nervous. At the end of every lesson, I'd be sweating and bright red in the face with stress. I'd get so nervous that I'd stall sometimes and he'd shake his head or tut. I thought he did that just to encourage me but everyone told me to stop with him. But now I've not got the confidence.
- Friends. A friend once said to me i'm not "a lad". I was always quite a shy guy. I've become more confident over the last year or so but it got to me. I felt I was being called boring. I don't like football so i'm not sure if that's why? But it just brought my confidence down. I don't have loads of friends and I just worry it's because I'm boring.
- Looks. All throughout school I was bullied for my height. I'm 5'8" now so average? but I still feel short. Years later, it's just getting to me still because I know like girls always like taller guys. Plus I've got such sensitive skin and I look like a right scruffy mess. I've tried different creams, gels, shavers and nothing works. People say i'm good looking/handsome but I just look in the mirror and don't see that.
- Girlfriend. I've never had a girlfriend. Or boyfriend. I'm bi and too afraid to tell anyone. I'm fed up of being on my own. I just want someone's hand to hold or someone to hug after a bad day or to just be able to say "i love you" to someone.
I'm just really fed up. I have nothing going for me. I can't get a job I like, I don't have much of a social life, I have to get buses, I think I look like crap and I just have no one.
I know there are a lot worse things happening to people in this World but I just feel so lonely and upset. I'm not an ungrateful person. I just want to make my life happier but I don't know how to and I just feel like "why bother" at the moment
I don't want to do anything silly. thank you x