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I need help to see if I’m on the right track. First song written ever and I’m a noob at songwriting and not very educated on it so I need very honest feedback.
Title: Deserve the world
Verse: you’re unhappy at the moment, and it makes me feel for you
Every time this happens you get so blue
It’s like the world’s making you run harder than you need to
And I just want to hold you and tell you

Chorus: you deserve the world, even if you don’t think it
You deserve your happiness I must admit
I can’t stand to see you this way
Miserable and wanting change
With a guy that doesn’t treat you the right way
You deserve it, you deserve the world

Verse: I hate the fact that you can’t see what I see when I look at you
I wish you could see the amazing guy, I get to
The one who’s amazing and caring
The one who’s always there
I just wish you saw it too

Chorus:You deserve the world, even if you don’t think it
You deserve happiness I must admit
You deserve a good person, a person that’ll sweep you off your feet
A person that’ll treat you like a king

Bridge: It’s not every time you walk by a person that’ll change your life, so I’m taking this chance to say this You deserve everything good
You deserve to be happy
you deserve a partner that’ll treat you right
You deserve it all (x2)

Chorus: You deserve the world even though you don’t think it
You deserve happiness I must admit
You deserve a person, you can call your own
You deserve to be content
It’s you that deserves it all
The one that deserves the world

(edited 1 year ago)