it just feels like there's been a dark cloud over my head for months now.
I have nightmares about my a level exams and repetitive thoughts about opening the papers only to find I can't do anything. I do physics and, although I've spent a lot of time practising questions and getting good, I still become a nervous wreck in exams. I resorted to essentially finding out everything I could about my physics mock papers so that I would do well. I did do well, but only because I was prepared for the questions. and now I feel terrible and more of a failure than ever, with my teachers and parents congratulating me when I basically cheated. I have never really gone into a test having no idea what the questions might be (I have done every single past paper I can get my hands on), and the one time I did last year, I didn't do very well. I would be genuinely devastated if I couldn't meet my grades for my firm choice, I mean even typing this is making me cry. I am trying meditation but I am still crying daily and getting these repetitive thoughts. Is this normal? is this what everyone is going through right now?