Feeling worthless

I actually feel like the worlds fattest failure today. I know 45% is a pass but how was it so easy for people to get such high grades. I was so excited about my essay and it wasn’t even good. It’s fragmentary, it’s vague, sentences are unfinished, it’s unstructured, it’s repetitive, no coherent sequences, terminology is inaccurate, grammatical errors oh and there is an overall lack of analysis. Honestly when people used to say university isn’t designed for everyone I never really listened until now. I don’t actually know why I’m here. It’s not like I’m actually good at anything I feel like that’s been proven constantly. I honestly am thinking about dropping out not because I hate it but because I don’t think I was cut out for university I think my hopes were high and I was naïve about it. I hate hate hate my lack of self confidence and my lack of self worth but I feel so useless, I feel like a burden and the majority of the time I feel like I’m taking up space by living because there is not one useful thing I can actually do, like what is the actual point in me being here?

i just needed a space to vent.

Take it as a learning experience and view it not as a reflection of your identity as opposed to your performance. You can always improve on performance - that's never set in stone (even when you're doing well, you can do poorly). Pick yourself up and do significantly better the next time, provided that you have learned all the right lessons this time round so we don't get a repeat result.

It would also really help if you specify the subject that you're doing. I specialise in social sciences (and possibly sciences at junior levels), so I can help with you there. Otherwise, it's probably better if you ask someone who scored higher to give you further feedback.

The key thing that I would do is to always get further feedback from the person who marked your paper (this is not always the lecturer). As tedious as this sounds (and you can see yourself getting a second bashing to your ego), the idea is to get clarity on where you went wrong and what you should focus on in your next assignment.

The general rules for getting certain grades in academia are:
1st class: correct answer + critical thinking
2:1: correct answer + analysis
2:2: generally correct answer with some mistakes
Pass: minimal effort and mostly incorrect

I would strongly recommend reading "How to Write Great Essays" by Peter Levin (it's a short book that you can read over the weekend) if you have problems writing in academia (the feedback partially suggests this). There are usually writing workshops and clinics on campus where they can help you with such problems, but I personally find the book of a better help.
Use Grammarly to help with the grammar, unless you want to learn advanced grammar before you submit your next assignment (I recommend Oxford Practice Grammar Advanced by George Yule or Advanced Grammar in Use with Answer by Martin Hewings).

Do note, an academic essay at university is not the same as the sort of essays you write at A Level. This is where a lot of people trip up.
If you solely focus on the material and ignore the writing style, your grades can drop.

For terminology and analysis, it would generally depend on the specific subject. It's very difficult to advise based on limited information.
For terminology, I would use the Oxford Reference dictionaries for key definitions, especially in the introductory paragraph. What I would never use or reference with are random definitions that I find on websites (something a lot of people do). I would also use more material from the university library, especially the relevant journal articles highlighted in your unit outline and relevant lecture notes (ignore these at your peril).

If you give me more specific information, I can at least point you in the right direction.

Thank you so much for your comment.

I’m studying English Literature. I think imposter syndrome is often a huge factor when i am feeling this way. The feeling almost that i’m a fraud and people are going to ridicule me when they find out how bad i actually am.

I actually feel like the worlds fattest failure today. I know 45% is a pass but how was it so easy for people to get such high grades. I was so excited about my essay and it wasn’t even good. It’s fragmentary, it’s vague, sentences are unfinished, it’s unstructured, it’s repetitive, no coherent sequences, terminology is inaccurate, grammatical errors oh and there is an overall lack of analysis. Honestly when people used to say university isn’t designed for everyone I never really listened until now. I don’t actually know why I’m here. It’s not like I’m actually good at anything I feel like that’s been proven constantly. I honestly am thinking about dropping out not because I hate it but because I don’t think I was cut out for university I think my hopes were high and I was naïve about it. I hate hate hate my lack of self confidence and my lack of self worth but I feel so useless, I feel like a burden and the majority of the time I feel like I’m taking up space by living because there is not one useful thing I can actually do, like what is the actual point in me being here?

i just needed a space to vent.

I actually feel like the worlds fattest failure today. I know 45% is a pass but how was it so easy for people to get such high grades. I was so excited about my essay and it wasn’t even good. It’s fragmentary, it’s vague, sentences are unfinished, it’s unstructured, it’s repetitive, no coherent sequences, terminology is inaccurate, grammatical errors oh and there is an overall lack of analysis. Honestly when people used to say university isn’t designed for everyone I never really listened until now. I don’t actually know why I’m here. It’s not like I’m actually good at anything I feel like that’s been proven constantly. I honestly am thinking about dropping out not because I hate it but because I don’t think I was cut out for university I think my hopes were high and I was naïve about it. I hate hate hate my lack of self confidence and my lack of self worth but I feel so useless, I feel like a burden and the majority of the time I feel like I’m taking up space by living because there is not one useful thing I can actually do, like what is the actual point in me being here?

i just needed a space to vent.