Learning how to socialise
I come from a dysfunctional, closed-off family, and in short, I haven't had the opportunities to socialise and create a social persona for myself. I am classed as antisocial as social situations stress me out, even though I know I am extroverted at heart. I seem to not know what to say or do to please the other person, even though thats not the point of communicating. Any advice on how to learn to socialise with anyone?
If I were you, take this opprotunity to not socialise. Why?
Because social life only and only brings upon stress and pain. Stay away from it. That would be my advice. Contrary to what you might be expecting, I will advise this. Some people get it right, but deep down, no one does. Believe me. I although have my fair share of problems, I am much happier without one. The second I got into a social life I spiraled into problems of my own, which are in the fix, but the trauma feels like rubbing salt on the wounds.
Because social life only and only brings upon stress and pain. Stay away from it. That would be my advice. Contrary to what you might be expecting, I will advise this. Some people get it right, but deep down, no one does. Believe me. I although have my fair share of problems, I am much happier without one. The second I got into a social life I spiraled into problems of my own, which are in the fix, but the trauma feels like rubbing salt on the wounds.
I see your point, but I want to do well in my career, and life in general, and not having social skills completely stops me from achieving this. Not saying that not having a social life makes someone automatically unsuccessful, but my current situation doesn't allow the priviledge of advancing in life without a social life.
And by social life its not the parties and hanging out and getting drunk, I mean creating stable, grounded relationships with people who benefit me and I can benefit back, with family, with past friends, with work colleagues, with everyone I meet.
And by social life its not the parties and hanging out and getting drunk, I mean creating stable, grounded relationships with people who benefit me and I can benefit back, with family, with past friends, with work colleagues, with everyone I meet.
Original post by Anonymous
If I were you, take this opprotunity to not socialise. Why?
Because social life only and only brings upon stress and pain. Stay away from it. That would be my advice. Contrary to what you might be expecting, I will advise this. Some people get it right, but deep down, no one does. Believe me. I although have my fair share of problems, I am much happier without one. The second I got into a social life I spiraled into problems of my own, which are in the fix, but the trauma feels like rubbing salt on the wounds.
Because social life only and only brings upon stress and pain. Stay away from it. That would be my advice. Contrary to what you might be expecting, I will advise this. Some people get it right, but deep down, no one does. Believe me. I although have my fair share of problems, I am much happier without one. The second I got into a social life I spiraled into problems of my own, which are in the fix, but the trauma feels like rubbing salt on the wounds.
Original post by adyysonline
I see your point, but I want to do well in my career, and life in general, and not having social skills completely stops me from achieving this. Not saying that not having a social life makes someone automatically unsuccessful, but my current situation doesn't allow the priviledge of advancing in life without a social life.
And by social life its not the parties and hanging out and getting drunk, I mean creating stable, grounded relationships with people who benefit me and I can benefit back, with family, with past friends, with work colleagues, with everyone I meet.
And by social life its not the parties and hanging out and getting drunk, I mean creating stable, grounded relationships with people who benefit me and I can benefit back, with family, with past friends, with work colleagues, with everyone I meet.
Tell me this
What book, what person , or what thing, or who, told you, that by not having social skills you cannot achieve further in life? You tell me that, I will apologise and take my words back
Don't have any more relationships apart from parents and a girlfriend. That's it. That's the main. Your best social friend, your best friend in socialising, is you
Haha as a complete hikikomori myself I can kind of relate to that other anonymous guy. I only really talk to others for business and I have to say I think I'm quite good at it. I'd recommend you read some books on the subject if you don't know where to start. My favourite is 'Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion', it breaks down how to inspire the people around you and how to keep people's attention. I swear I'm not actually Robert B. Caldini trying to persuade you into buying my book (although that would be incredibly hilarious given the irony involved). Any book that takes your fancy would work just fine - I'm just promoting reading around the subject, after all, social skills, like how to make a pancake or learning physics, can be studied all the same.
Original post by Anonymous
Tell me this
What book, what person , or what thing, or who, told you, that by not having social skills you cannot achieve further in life? You tell me that, I will apologise and take my words back
Don't have any more relationships apart from parents and a girlfriend. That's it. That's the main. Your best social friend, your best friend in socialising, is you
What book, what person , or what thing, or who, told you, that by not having social skills you cannot achieve further in life? You tell me that, I will apologise and take my words back
Don't have any more relationships apart from parents and a girlfriend. That's it. That's the main. Your best social friend, your best friend in socialising, is you
I get what you mean but I feel like I worded it wrong. I want to do well, yes, and I know not having social skills doesn't mean you will not be successful, but my current situation, my environment, my position, all of that relative to where I want to be when I'm successful needs me to socialise. On top of that, one of my parents left, and I am not looking for a boyfriend. I know the main is family, and I really do value family over everything already, but I wanna do loaaads of things that need proper socialising.
Original post by adyysonline
I get what you mean but I feel like I worded it wrong. I want to do well, yes, and I know not having social skills doesn't mean you will not be successful, but my current situation, my environment, my position, all of that relative to where I want to be when I'm successful needs me to socialise. On top of that, one of my parents left, and I am not looking for a boyfriend. I know the main is family, and I really do value family over everything already, but I wanna do loaaads of things that need proper socialising.
Read Dale Carneige's books. That will do the trick
