I understand that this is no one’s problem but my own.
I have three A Level exams next week, and I know that I won’t do well in at least two of them. I haven’t revised enough for them because I lack the motivation to do so. I do maybe 2 hours of revision a day at most.
Luckily, I have no plans of going to uni any time soon to prevent myself from catalysing a mental breakdown, so I’m not that worried.
At the moment, I’m struggling with my gender identity. It’s difficult to think of much else; all I tend to think about is how I have no happy future because of it. I imagine i’m depressed or something too, because I can’t concentrate, I feel sad/empty a lot and I’m constantly tired. As a result, I haven’t seen much point in doing well in my exams, because I won’t be happy anyway. I might not even last long enough to see it pay off.
I’m just sick of school at the moment. It never feels like I’m working for myself but for other people, specifically the teachers I feel like I’m letting down by being too depressed to revise. That’s the only reason that I feel bad about not doing well.
I feel unfulfilled in all facets of my life. I’m burnt out from school, I don’t go out with my friends, I’m not able to be openly myself.
I might be alright once the stress of school has finished. Hopefully. At this point, I’ll take EEE if it’ll just stop.