Hiya, this may be a bit long but I do think my overthinking is really drastic and affecting many of my relationships and studies. Obviously, I am aware that many are affected by anxious thinking but it's still something that makes me feel really detached and awkward.
i am an a level student so currently i am doing my exams, I have an exceptional offer at an amazing university but I cannot help think that everything I am doing is going to affect my position. For example, a while back i had a bit of a career crisis and emailed the admissions team asking whether I could change course before enrolment. I wasn't too surprised when they said no but i did insist for them to consider just because I thought I was more well-fitted. Looking back, I feel like I've already made a bad first impression as needy and not self-aware of my actions, two things that are certainly not true. I've also been anxious about my exams just like many others in the country and have been constantly thinking of the bad things that may come about, such as not meeting the university requirements which isn't likely to happen considering, like I've mentioned, I do have a good offer for the course. but yet even after this email interaction I've had with the university, it does make me wonder that they may reject me with or without the grades. I know it may be unethical to do so since they did give me a condition, but I've also heard that people do get in if they narrowly miss their condition. BUt due to my impression, what if i narrowly miss my offer and they presume that I just do not want to attend the course or uni due to the emails? It's really making me worry. I couldn't possibly take a gap year or redo my a levels if I have to because of the mental agony it is giving me now
And with relationships, I do adore my current friends but I am always worried about what they are thinking of me. THey are going on to do such academic subjects (i am doing creative) and it makes me fearful that they may not want to associate themselves with someone who isn't looking to be within the stem field. I am aware of how ridiciulous this sounds considering they have been my friends for so long, but one of my friends did say 'everytime i hear low grades I assume that the uni itself is bad,' obviously making me overthink my choices.
I have no clue how I'm supposed to enjoy the summer without thinking about results day or how my relationships with others will be affected. Is there any tough-love advice out there?