Hi. Am not sure whats wrong with me, i need help. It physically hurts my brain to think, make any limbic movement. Not that it paralyses me, but so much pain in my brain. I feel like i am having a heart attack all the time. And ive become really moody and annoyed over the past few days, and i am never like this. Not ever. So i dont understand where its coming from. I obsessively convince nyself i can do work, but deep dive i believe i cant. And so when i do it, compared to normal i can’t understand anythung almost like my brain fogs. The past few months i have really been depressed by that i mean, low self worth, unloved feeling like i cant do anything, shaking and nervous tremours all the time and crying out of nowhere. Too tired to sleep. And scared in my sleep, and when i wake up i cant get up cauz i feel really anxious like i am in danger. It takes so much convincing to get up. I feel like i might be abandoned and on my own. I dont attempt my passions i fear them.
When doing work i am hit with so many intrusive thoughts and emotions i feel like i am unsafe so i completely stopped doing work. Ive started again recently and was like this is what i was running from? Because i find it easy and interesting now, but starting it takes so much effort, that i do everything but that. Although its not hard at all, and something uve always enjoyed. Although a year ago, work was hard and i may have overworked myself. And sometimes images of that come bacj to me when i attempt to do work. And that scares me too. So i dont do it then too.
What could possible be wrong. I really feel like i am in danger all the time, and tired and nit worth anything. How can i fix myself. I can afford no therapist at the moment. Thanks!