Severe social anxiety in college
I’ve had social anxiety for a long time but in college it feels much worse. I get there and can barely speak, feel so tense and stressed about what other people think of me and my mind goes almost blank. My face also goes tense. I feel really ashamed of it. When I walk up to college it’s like a switch flicks and suddenly I’m so tense, outside I’m pretty okay. I’ve made no friends my whole time being here but I have to stay another year if I want to go to uni. I’m waiting to have CBT but waiting times are very very long, I might speak to someone at college next year but honestly I’m so ashamed I don’t want people to know (hence why I’m posting this anonymously). My family knows but I don’t like to go on about it to them because it only makes them feel bad. It’s ruined my time at college so far and I have very little life outside of work and education because of it. I would love to make really good friends but I struggle to feel comfortable and be myself because of social anxiety. I’ve never met anyone else like me and I feel very alone. Does anyone else have a similar experience (or has had a similar experience and gotten better)?
Original post by Anonymous
I’ve had social anxiety for a long time but in college it feels much worse. I get there and can barely speak, feel so tense and stressed about what other people think of me and my mind goes almost blank. My face also goes tense. I feel really ashamed of it. When I walk up to college it’s like a switch flicks and suddenly I’m so tense, outside I’m pretty okay. I’ve made no friends my whole time being here but I have to stay another year if I want to go to uni. I’m waiting to have CBT but waiting times are very very long, I might speak to someone at college next year but honestly I’m so ashamed I don’t want people to know (hence why I’m posting this anonymously). My family knows but I don’t like to go on about it to them because it only makes them feel bad. It’s ruined my time at college so far and I have very little life outside of work and education because of it. I would love to make really good friends but I struggle to feel comfortable and be myself because of social anxiety. I’ve never met anyone else like me and I feel very alone. Does anyone else have a similar experience (or has had a similar experience and gotten better)?
Social skills:
Be open, relaxed, approachable, friendly, lighten up
0) You can try nlp exercises, meditation, breathing techniques, visualisation. You can read books on this subject and there is a wealth of resources on the internet, youtube regarding this subject.
1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?
2) Smile, smiling in contagious.
3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, you have got as much right as everyone else.
Think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily. Relax.
Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance. Be happy with yourself.
4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.
5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?
6) Ask how they are, how's everything, how's it going, what's the latest, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, their day, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening. You could read up on current affairs.
Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,
Compliment them, say "I like your jacket".
If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.
7) Be passionate about life.
8) In group discussions, relax and talk to someone close or if someone says something you know, you can talk then. Stay relaxed.
9) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.
10) You can write things down and come up with a rational reframed response, keep a journal of your thoughts, reach out to people slowly
Original post by Anonymous
I’ve had social anxiety for a long time but in college it feels much worse. I get there and can barely speak, feel so tense and stressed about what other people think of me and my mind goes almost blank. My face also goes tense. I feel really ashamed of it. When I walk up to college it’s like a switch flicks and suddenly I’m so tense, outside I’m pretty okay. I’ve made no friends my whole time being here but I have to stay another year if I want to go to uni. I’m waiting to have CBT but waiting times are very very long, I might speak to someone at college next year but honestly I’m so ashamed I don’t want people to know (hence why I’m posting this anonymously). My family knows but I don’t like to go on about it to them because it only makes them feel bad. It’s ruined my time at college so far and I have very little life outside of work and education because of it. I would love to make really good friends but I struggle to feel comfortable and be myself because of social anxiety. I’ve never met anyone else like me and I feel very alone. Does anyone else have a similar experience (or has had a similar experience and gotten better)?
I’ve just finished sixth form and I felt pretty much the exact same. Didn’t have any friends the whole time and didn’t say a word to anyone most days. You’re not alone - it’s just that all the people like us are socially isolated so we don’t talk to each other and then we feel like the only ones.
Original post by Anonymous
I’ve just finished sixth form and I felt pretty much the exact same. Didn’t have any friends the whole time and didn’t say a word to anyone most days. You’re not alone - it’s just that all the people like us are socially isolated so we don’t talk to each other and then we feel like the only ones.
True, it’s funny though cus I feel really great outside of college but college is a very anxiety-inducing environment for me. I hope next year in a new class and stuff I can get to know people better and
Original post by Anonymous
True, it’s funny though cus I feel really great outside of college but college is a very anxiety-inducing environment for me. I hope next year in a new class and stuff I can get to know people better and
Sorry pressed submit by accident lol but anyway, hopefully next year I can get to know people better and college will be better for me. If not there’s always uni which is a bit of a fresh start.
