So my parents were older when they had me and I have a brother who hates me, as well as this I have autism, depression and anxiety
I'm having a really bad time at the moment. I'm getting ready to start uni and have always loved biochemistry but feel to be falling out of love I don't know if this is just because a big change is coming up
I've never been able to make friends at school and the ones I've thought I had always left me out of things
I'm constantly having panick attacks of being alone in life once my parents die and keep thinking it could happen any moment now. I also keep worrying that I'm going to do a degree and not be able to get a job or not be able to work in a lab as I have sensory processing disorder. I also worry I'm going to get a job that I hate and get made redundant and be homeless as my family went through something like this when I was a teenager and things got really bad. And that I'm going to be homeless and I don't even know if I would be able to live by myself and don't know how to tell my parents that I don't want to / can't live on my own.
I had a really bad time at primary and high school due to bullying and people say that school is the best time of your life so what if my whole life is this bad then what is the point
Please help