Making friends
I am originally four hours away from the university i am studying at, The university of Stirling, and i have not made any friends yet and its really taking its toll on my mental health. I have tried to go to events and societies and things but nothing has worked. my two other flat mates are really quiet and keep to themselves. i just want someone to talk to, i just feel so isolated and alone in this new journey and i do not know what to do
It might be worth contacting your Uni welfare department to see who they can get you to link in with - the social events departments of Uni's are always looking for new people to help out, and both welfare and the social events bods will hopefully take you under their wing and give you a 'step up' to finding some new friends.
Original post by AlannahK09
I am originally four hours away from the university i am studying at, The university of Stirling, and i have not made any friends yet and its really taking its toll on my mental health. I have tried to go to events and societies and things but nothing has worked. my two other flat mates are really quiet and keep to themselves. i just want someone to talk to, i just feel so isolated and alone in this new journey and i do not know what to do
Hi there
Sorry to hear that you are feeling upset at University. It is quite normal to feel this way at the start of University. I was also in the same position as you during first year.
Trying to go to events and societies is a really good option, while it may not have worked out initially, I found personally that going to the same society on a regular basis helped me meet new people.
If you look on your University's student union website/ socials, they may host a range of events and you can always have a look at those. I know walking up to a group of people and starting a conversation can be really difficult (especially if you are more introverted like myself), but most people will be friendly and welcoming.
I know you may feel isolated at the moment, but you do not have to go through this time on your own- reach out to your University's support and wellbeing team. They may be able to help you! Another thing I would recommend is signing up to the Buddy Scheme at your University - where you will be paired with another student.
Whilst the situation may not be that good right now, it is only temporary. Take your time, meet friends through your course and societies, and if you need help, feel free to reach out to your University's support system.
Hope this helps.
Chloe
-University of Kent Student Rep
Hi there,
I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
Believe me, many of us have been in the same situation as yourself and even now at your curreny uni you will meet people who are also struggling to make new friends.
All universities have wellbeing counsellors who are trained and prepared to hear your concers and give you the best advice. There is no shame in reaching out to them as they are there to help you.
Of course I can give you the basic advice which is try to get out of your comfort zone, try starting a conversation or approach a group of people, but then in my opinion it is best if you prioritize your mental health.
Please remember that classes just started so there is still time for you to try new experiences, join new societies and meet other people.
Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help.
Best of luck,
Melanie
LSBU Rep
I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
Believe me, many of us have been in the same situation as yourself and even now at your curreny uni you will meet people who are also struggling to make new friends.
All universities have wellbeing counsellors who are trained and prepared to hear your concers and give you the best advice. There is no shame in reaching out to them as they are there to help you.
Of course I can give you the basic advice which is try to get out of your comfort zone, try starting a conversation or approach a group of people, but then in my opinion it is best if you prioritize your mental health.
Please remember that classes just started so there is still time for you to try new experiences, join new societies and meet other people.
Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help.
Best of luck,
Melanie
LSBU Rep
Original post by AlannahK09
I am originally four hours away from the university i am studying at, The university of Stirling, and i have not made any friends yet and its really taking its toll on my mental health. I have tried to go to events and societies and things but nothing has worked. my two other flat mates are really quiet and keep to themselves. i just want someone to talk to, i just feel so isolated and alone in this new journey and i do not know what to do
Hey @AlannahK09,
I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing now? Have you had a think about any other ways to try make friends apart from events and societies?
How about looking into any volunteering opportunities at your university as a way of meeting new people? Or perhaps becoming an ambassador?
Is there anyone on your course who you could see yourself being friends with? Perhaps you could follow them on social media and start a small interaction by reacting/replying to their story etc, or it might push them to message you first. Starting with small talk can be hard, my go-to is usually always about books or tv shows and asking for their recommendations, as it's something I'm really passionate about and get excited to talk about, and I never run out of things to say about it.
Good luck! I'm sure you'll make some great friends soon, but don't put too much pressure on yourself, everyone makes friends at different stages of their lives, and it can take longer for some people than others. You should be proud of yourself for going to events and societies in the first place to try and make friends, even if it hasn't worked out yet, you're still actively trying!
Becky
Original post by AlannahK09
I am originally four hours away from the university i am studying at, The university of Stirling, and i have not made any friends yet and its really taking its toll on my mental health. I have tried to go to events and societies and things but nothing has worked. my two other flat mates are really quiet and keep to themselves. i just want someone to talk to, i just feel so isolated and alone in this new journey and i do not know what to do
Hey there @AlannahK09 !
Sorry to hear this has happened, it's never easy adjusting to a brand new environment. Have you tried sitting with some of your coursemates that you haven't sat with yet? Often times when we're forcing friendships it's because we're looking in the wrong places. Try and join a different group when you go to your next lecture and introduce yourself. Is there something you can do to make your flatmates more comfortable? There may be a reason they aren't as sociable as you and you might have to go that extra mile to bring them out their shell. Something I did to get my first year flatmates to be more sociable was to bring my TV down into the living room/kitchen or even your laptop and encourage them to watch something with you. We started having regular movie nights and went from there. There's nothing that bonds teenagers quite like technology so use this to your advantage.
Hope this helped!
Lucy - Digital Student Ambassador SHU
Original post by AlannahK09
I am originally four hours away from the university i am studying at, The university of Stirling, and i have not made any friends yet and its really taking its toll on my mental health. I have tried to go to events and societies and things but nothing has worked. my two other flat mates are really quiet and keep to themselves. i just want someone to talk to, i just feel so isolated and alone in this new journey and i do not know what to do
@AlannahK09
Do reach out to family and friends back home. The distance may be far, but you could have a regular time where you call them during the week which could help to ease the loneliness. You could have different people that you call on different days so that you are staying in contact with a few people and have new things to talk about.
What are the people like on your course? Have you tried to arrange things with them? Going for a coffee after a lecture? A study session at the library? It takes time to get to know people and it's difficult when you want friends straight away, but spending time with people regularly tends to lead to friendship, so though it's tough, try to talk to different people, to eat lunch with them, and to go to different events run by the university.
Your other flatmates might be very shy or introverted. Have you tried knocking on their doors to talk to them? You could ask them if they want to go to a university event or a society with you. You could even ask them if they have eaten dinner and if they would like some of the food you're cooking.
Making friends can take time, but if you are concerned your mental health is being impacted, then do seek help from your university support services.
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
Hello,
My name is Haya,and I am an international student at the University of Central Lancashire.
When I first came to University, it was quite difficult to make friends as I did not know people in the UK. Also, due to the time difference speaking to my friends back home was difficult. What worked for me was I attended a lot of "give it a go sessions" for societies and clubs, spent some time in the student union, and believe it or not made friends in the library. Talking about the weather/sports was always a good starting point.
Finally, if you are a fan of the gym, it is often a great place to make friends if you need help with equipment, someone to spot you, or even a gym buddy. Also try to chill and study in student areas like Cafes and Restaurants next to campus as often you will also meet students there.
I hope these tips help and it is only a matter of time before you will make friends
Best wishes,
Haya- MBBS5
My name is Haya,and I am an international student at the University of Central Lancashire.
When I first came to University, it was quite difficult to make friends as I did not know people in the UK. Also, due to the time difference speaking to my friends back home was difficult. What worked for me was I attended a lot of "give it a go sessions" for societies and clubs, spent some time in the student union, and believe it or not made friends in the library. Talking about the weather/sports was always a good starting point.
Finally, if you are a fan of the gym, it is often a great place to make friends if you need help with equipment, someone to spot you, or even a gym buddy. Also try to chill and study in student areas like Cafes and Restaurants next to campus as often you will also meet students there.
I hope these tips help and it is only a matter of time before you will make friends
Best wishes,
Haya- MBBS5
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