Original post by student1110292
run
I laughed so hard when I read this
don't be rude
Original post by student1110292
run
can someone actually give a proper answer and help
Original post by fluffycloud101
can someone actually give a proper answer and help
im not a scholar but to my knowledge the relationship is haram from his side, you cant have a gf/bf in islam regardless of religion(even if both are muslim)..
i believe it will be permissible for marriage(assuming youre a christian or a jew i think) . idk if ur an atheist if it is allowed though, but thats only for marriage. right now its haram on his side as hes got. a gf before marraige, potentially leading to pre martial sex. if ur old enough and rly serious consider marriage but thats. a big jump so idk u do u(assuming ur a christian/jew(aka-believer of the book).
we're not doing anything before marriage, we've planned it all out and we'll introduce each other to our parents once I've finished med school which will be in around 5 years . I just want to know if there's anything I can do to increase the chances of his parents accepting it. we both know that the relationship is haram and it will be until we tell our parents + get married. we're definitely not at the age where we can get married yet.
Original post by aneer3wq3wt
im not a scholar but to my knowledge the relationship is haram from his side, you cant have a gf/bf in islam regardless of religion(even if both are muslim)..
i believe it will be permissible for marriage(assuming youre a christian or a jew i think) . idk if ur an atheist if it is allowed though, but thats only for marriage. right now its haram on his side as hes got. a gf before marraige, potentially leading to pre martial sex. if ur old enough and rly serious consider marriage but thats. a big jump so idk u do u(assuming ur a christian/jew(aka-believer of the book).
i believe it will be permissible for marriage(assuming youre a christian or a jew i think) . idk if ur an atheist if it is allowed though, but thats only for marriage. right now its haram on his side as hes got. a gf before marraige, potentially leading to pre martial sex. if ur old enough and rly serious consider marriage but thats. a big jump so idk u do u(assuming ur a christian/jew(aka-believer of the book).
Original post by fluffycloud101
we're not doing anything before marriage, we've planned it all out and we'll introduce each other to our parents once I've finished med school which will be in around 5 years . I just want to know if there's anything I can do to increase the chances of his parents accepting it. we both know that the relationship is haram and it will be until we tell our parents + get married. we're definitely not at the age where we can get married yet.
ahk
idk then, depends how strict his parents are really. some muslim parents would freak out and just block all forms of communication in that sort of situation but idk up to you two really at that point
Original post by fluffycloud101
we're not doing anything before marriage, we've planned it all out and we'll introduce each other to our parents once I've finished med school which will be in around 5 years . I just want to know if there's anything I can do to increase the chances of his parents accepting it. we both know that the relationship is haram and it will be until we tell our parents + get married. we're definitely not at the age where we can get married yet.
Tell him to tell his parents that he wants to marry you in 5 years time. Make sure he’s serious about this. A lot of boys just wanna mess around with a girl with ‘promises’ of marriage but end up marrying a Muslim after they are done.
aw I don't have a doubt that he wants to marry me, I know he will regardless of what his parents say but I'd rather that we were on good terms with his parents. thanks for the advice
Original post by mxlaika1
Tell him to tell his parents that he wants to marry you in 5 years time. Make sure he’s serious about this. A lot of boys just wanna mess around with a girl with ‘promises’ of marriage but end up marrying a Muslim after they are done.
thanks for the advice
Original post by aneer3wq3wt
ahk
idk then, depends how strict his parents are really. some muslim parents would freak out and just block all forms of communication in that sort of situation but idk up to you two really at that point
idk then, depends how strict his parents are really. some muslim parents would freak out and just block all forms of communication in that sort of situation but idk up to you two really at that point
Original post by fluffycloud101
can someone actually give a proper answer and help
I am Muslim myself, and the following is based on my observations of many relationships:
Realistically, young Muslim boys who get with non-Muslim girls either have no intention of marrying you because they will have an arranged marriage and/or they know their parents will never accept you, so they use you for attention or sex since non-Muslim girls mightn't care about sex before marriage (depending on cultural or religious background) whereas Muslim girls have the religious and cultural taboo, or it is the case that he genuinely thinks he can be with you long term.
The latter option is somewhat less likely but if it is the case, then there is only a very small chance the parents would accept you as a non-Muslim, and marrying non-Muslims except chaste (people who dont have sex outside of marriage) religious Jews and Christians is not allowed for Muslim men, but even still parents don't like it. The parents matter a lot as Muslims come from backgrounds where we respect our parents a lot and often do what they say even as adults. There is a slightly increased chance they'd accept you if you became Muslim, but a person should become Muslim because they believe it, not for puppy love. Subsequently if you did convert, even if he broke up with you or divorced you, your faith should be unshaken.
There is a tiny chance he would marry you against his family's wishes but I would guess then that he's not as religious as you think - a religious Muslim doesn't date a non-Muslim girl. I would hazard a guess that you are at school or uni, and he is an F-boi
(edited 5 months ago)
Original post by fluffycloud101
aw I don't have a doubt that he wants to marry me, I know he will regardless of what his parents say but I'd rather that we were on good terms with his parents. thanks for the advice
You can tell him to tell HSI parents about you now. Thsi was they can think about it and in 5 years time it won’t be much of a shock? More chance of them agreeing
Original post by mxlaika1
You can tell him to tell HSI parents about you now. Thsi was they can think about it and in 5 years time it won’t be much of a shock? More chance of them agreeing
isnt that just worse as hes just told his parents hes in a haram relationship with a non muslim girl? its highly likely theyll just make him stop talking to her no?
Trust your gut instinct and stick to your dealbreakers. 
Listen to what your common sense is telling you.
Remember that the majority of religious people raised within religious households either prefer to marry likeminded coreligionists of similar background or have older relative that are very committed to their young family members continuing a very long family tradition of arranged marriage.
I grew up around quite a few uk interfaith couples where one spouse was a follower if islam & the other was not, most are still together after more than 3 decades of marriage.
None got divorced.
From what I've seen the majority of honest male conservative religious followers of islam who are openly doing interfaith dating and keen to introduce their gf to their immediate family are dating in the hope of marriage.
Either an interfaith marriage that is legally recognised by the nation of residency courts and immigration authorities or an unrecognised religious ceremony with no legal status.
I support interfaith marriage although I know that it is not an option for everyone to consider.
I'm lazy catholic and islam was the first religion that I was taught in early childhood.
My best friend is a follower of the liberal shia islamic sect led by the aga khan.
I've dated followers of islam and had arranged marriage offers from those types of guys & their traditionalist relatives raised overseas.
Won't be going down the marriage route myself.
Don't forget that every relationship comes with very valuable life experience
Be prepared to calmly walk away without any bad feeling if you begin to feel that either the two of you have incompatible ambitions or your family backgrounds are guaranteed to clash in the worst possible ways.
Same applies if you hear any lies from him.
If you ever realise that his affection or his family's tolerance of you is conditional upon either converting, accepting a polygamous arrangement, changing your diet or your choice of clothing- RUN for the hills.
Good luck!
Listen to what your common sense is telling you.
Remember that the majority of religious people raised within religious households either prefer to marry likeminded coreligionists of similar background or have older relative that are very committed to their young family members continuing a very long family tradition of arranged marriage.
I grew up around quite a few uk interfaith couples where one spouse was a follower if islam & the other was not, most are still together after more than 3 decades of marriage.
None got divorced.
From what I've seen the majority of honest male conservative religious followers of islam who are openly doing interfaith dating and keen to introduce their gf to their immediate family are dating in the hope of marriage.
Either an interfaith marriage that is legally recognised by the nation of residency courts and immigration authorities or an unrecognised religious ceremony with no legal status.
I support interfaith marriage although I know that it is not an option for everyone to consider.
I'm lazy catholic and islam was the first religion that I was taught in early childhood.
My best friend is a follower of the liberal shia islamic sect led by the aga khan.
I've dated followers of islam and had arranged marriage offers from those types of guys & their traditionalist relatives raised overseas.
Won't be going down the marriage route myself.
Don't forget that every relationship comes with very valuable life experience
Be prepared to calmly walk away without any bad feeling if you begin to feel that either the two of you have incompatible ambitions or your family backgrounds are guaranteed to clash in the worst possible ways.
Same applies if you hear any lies from him.
If you ever realise that his affection or his family's tolerance of you is conditional upon either converting, accepting a polygamous arrangement, changing your diet or your choice of clothing- RUN for the hills.
Good luck!
Original post by fluffycloud101
hi,
I'm not really sure what I'm asking but I just want some opinions.
I'm not religious but my bf is religious (muslim) , I know it is against his religion so to make up for it( which I know probably isn't possible) I always remind him to pray and try and keep him on track. I make him teach me about islam and everything but I'm not sure how his parents will react. I really try hard to make sure he's on track and I've stopped eating pork + started dressing modestly but I'm not sure what else I can do. any advice?
I'm not really sure what I'm asking but I just want some opinions.
I'm not religious but my bf is religious (muslim) , I know it is against his religion so to make up for it( which I know probably isn't possible) I always remind him to pray and try and keep him on track. I make him teach me about islam and everything but I'm not sure how his parents will react. I really try hard to make sure he's on track and I've stopped eating pork + started dressing modestly but I'm not sure what else I can do. any advice?
Tbh if a muslim guy marries someone of the book (Muslim, Christian/ Jewish) then this is allowed in Islam. What makes a relationship before marriage 'not allowed' is the concept of physical intimacy and it being a sin before marriage etc, but if you guys are getting to know each other without that stuff then there isn't an issue and it is completely reasonable.
You're honestly doing a lot at the moment and I really do hope he appreciates you for that, at the same time I do hope you're doing all this purely out of your own choice because things like this shouldn't be forced. So far you sound really supportive, considerate and kind; hopefully his parents will see these qualities in you. I've seen many couples like you and your boyfriend and people always react differently - though his parents may expect you to convert and this is something you should be thinking about if you guys want to be together for the long run. It would also be best for you both to speak to your parents about this now as others have said, so you guys can see how things go and work through things rather than worrying about 'what-ifs' and dealing with all the stress.
I wish you both the best
As someone who once dated a Muslim chick - albeit a one who didn't exactly follow the rules - I would say think long and hard about the future of your relationship. You need to determine whether you're willing to give up your lifestyle to follow theirs. Me personally, I wouldn't. Didn't actually. I said nah f that, I'm not gonna conform to someone else's belief system just for the sake of love. That ain't me. So again, think about it.
As for the parent situation, there are two ways this could go. They could either accept you with open arms or shi could hit the fan. I'm leaning more toward the latter if they're strict about their religion.
As for the parent situation, there are two ways this could go. They could either accept you with open arms or shi could hit the fan. I'm leaning more toward the latter if they're strict about their religion.
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